Christian Advice.

[bored]

Hi im having a very hard time now. I'm a christian who told a girl in my youth group that i liked her this summer and asked her out. I got the "Let's stay friends" thing and was heart broken. I've tried hanging out with her since just to make things normal like they were before. She became a christian this summer and last week i guess she went to a party got drunk and lost her virginity and she is devistated. Ive talked to her and tried to go get coffee but she is to devistated i guess because she hasnt shown up. Im really heart broken over this and im trying to get some advice for this. Please be Kind! I dont really feel like getting mad at anyone today.

My advice is this: work slowly. It's great that you want to be there for her, and if she'll accept it, do try and console her, make her understand that everyone makes a mistake every now and then, just be nice and understanding. It may not get her romantically interested in you, but it's the right thing to do, and in time, she may hold that as something positive about you. Also remember that she may not be willing to discuss it in depth, so if the only way to do it is to pry, then don't. With personal issues, a lot of people aren't going to want to open for some time.

 

[Lando81]

Im not trying to be there for her romanticly just as a friend.

 

[Swiftman]

My advice is this: work slowly. It's great that you want to be there for her, and if she'll accept it, do try and console her, make her understand that everyone makes a mistake every now and then, just be nice and understanding. It may not get her romantically interested in you, but it's the right thing to do, and in time, she may hold that as something positive about you. Also remember that she may not be willing to discuss it in depth, so if the only way to do it is to pry, then don't. With personal issues, a lot of people aren't going to want to open for some time.

non-catholic christians suck!

 

[7Hells]

The thread wasn't about judging the act, it's about how to help a person deal with something that they feel was a very signifcant mistake in their life.

And telling her she isnt responsible for what she did because she was drunk isnt going to help her. If anything it would have an extreme potential of hurting her in the future.

 

[bored]

Im not trying to be there for her romanticly just as a friend.

'Kay then. That's probably for the best. My advice can still be applied to someone you're, in general, trying to help out, just no concern about 'will this help me hook up', which is really a distraction.

 

[bored]

non-catholic christians suck!

*remembers thread title* I see. Want your mind blown?

Spoiler

I'm Jewish.

 

[Lando81]

Thread Closed! Thanks for the help but the fighting is to much!

 

[Colossal Spoons]

How sad, you guys drove the thread started to request it's close.

 

[The Riddler]

forget about her, and sacrafice yourself to god.

 

[Lackey]

whatever mod deleted my posts is an idiot


the girl did something ****ty, get over it.



admitting her ****ty ways is the first step to recovery

 

[Tangled Web]

I love the Jews. Jesus is my favorite Jew, and also Natalie Portman. I love them.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

She needs prayer and a friend. I would just call her on the phone for a while and then try to get together.

 

[ampersand]

whatever mod deleted my posts is an idiot


the girl did something ****ty, get over it.



admitting her ****ty ways is the first step to recovery

Getting drunk and sleeping with one guy doesn't make a girl a ****, doing it all the time does. The girl made a mistake and feels terrible about it, stop being an ass.

 

[Axid]

Could I speak to the drug dealer of the house, please?

 

[Lantern Venom]

Hi im having a very hard time now. I'm a christian who told a girl in my youth group that i liked her this summer and asked her out. I got the "Let's stay friends" thing and was heart broken. I've tried hanging out with her since just to make things normal like they were before. She became a christian this summer and last week i guess she went to a party got drunk and lost her virginity and she is devistated. Ive talked to her and tried to go get coffee but she is to devistated i guess because she hasnt shown up. Im really heart broken over this and im trying to get some advice for this. Please be Kind! I dont really feel like getting mad at anyone today.

It sounds cliche' to say "just be there for her", but I think that's the best approach. Don't be too forceful. Let her have the private time she needs to pray and work through her emotions. When she's ready, she'll seek out your support. These kinds of events have various phases of recovery. Right now, she's just coming to terms with the reality of this in both a practical and spiritual sense. Moving on from it may be weeks, months or years away.
When the time comes, there are two things I would advise you to tell her: 1) Stop drinking, period. It caused her to do something against her moral code and that's a major problem. She needs to eradicate alcohol from her life until she's much older if not forever. 2) Remind her that she can be forgiven not matter how much or long she may feel guilty over this. God is always willing to accept a contrite heart.
I wish you well, Hazmat.

 

[Clerk]

whatever mod deleted my posts is an idiot


the girl did something ****ty, get over it.



admitting her ****ty ways is the first step to recovery

Yeah, thank God my friend IMed it to me just intime. TIVO here you come Lackey you Greek god of the religious smackdowns you.

 

[Capt Throbberson]

That is ridiculous.
I agree with Tangled web.
Why is she going around telling everyone about this anyway? Sounds like she just wants attention and sympathy.

'Cause thats how she roles

 

[Lackey]

Getting drunk and sleeping with one guy doesn't make a girl a ****, doing it all the time does. The girl made a mistake and feels terrible about it, stop being an ass.

I agree, and killing one innocent person doesn't make you a murderer. You gotta be doing it all the time to be a murderer.

 

[The Dark Defender]

And telling her she isnt responsible for what she did because she was drunk isnt going to help her. If anything it would have an extreme potential of hurting her in the future.

I didn't say she wasn't responsible for what she did; hence why I said she should understand her mistake and learn from it.

 

[The Dark Defender]

Edit

 

[amazingfantasy15]

In terms of the not responsible when you're drunk stuff, why is there a DUI law then? If you're drinking and you decide to get in you're car and get pulled over, nothing should happen, you were drunk, you shouldn't be responsible for those actions.

 

[7Hells]

I didn't say she wasn't responsible for what she did.

I didnt say you did. It was an argument going on in the thread. I thought your comment was targeted at the arguing parties. Guess not.

 

[The Dark Defender]

No, my comment was just a general statement, it wasn't targeted toward any specific replies.

 

[7Hells]

I agree, and killing one innocent person doesn't make you a murderer. You gotta be doing it all the time to be a murderer.

So I guess, by your logic, I'm a thief because I stole one of my friends M&Ms when we were at the movies.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Hi im having a very hard time now. I'm a christian who told a girl in my youth group that i liked her this summer and asked her out. I got the "Let's stay friends" thing and was heart broken. I've tried hanging out with her since just to make things normal like they were before. She became a christian this summer and last week i guess she went to a party got drunk and lost her virginity and she is devistated. Ive talked to her and tried to go get coffee but she is to devistated i guess because she hasnt shown up. Im really heart broken over this and im trying to get some advice for this. Please be Kind! I dont really feel like getting mad at anyone today.

I'm not really sure what kind of advice you're asking for. Are you disappointed in her? Did she make one of those vows to stay a virgin until marriage? Are you not sure you can be her friend anymore? Or do you just want to know what to say to her, how to help her through this? Did she not show up for coffee or the church group? Not trying to be an @$$, just trying to get some more info on what the actual problem is.