Come on...like SERIOUSLY!!!!

[Ace of Knaves]

Why does he want to know what your parents do?

Best answer for that?

MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!!!! With a slap round the mooey.

 

[RdeemingRainbow]

He wants to know about the parents to get an idea of what environment the guy was raised in, and to know how much supervision he has -- what if both parents are night guards at a warehouse, then this guy trying to date the dad's daughter will have a house all to himself at night. Or if the guy has only one parent and is watched at night by an uncle who is unemployed because he just got out of prison for pimping children and animals? That's some handy information to have.

You cannot overly protect kids, thats the problem thats occurring today, they need to go out and make their own mistakes and own judgements about people

Yes, because the problem I notice these days is kids being overly supervised by adults at all times. It's practically turned the internet into a mind-prison for youth, free of surprising behavior, youthful mistakes, or judging of other people...

 

[ChickenScratch]

Hey, it's his daughter, he can say if she sees him or not. It's not as if the kid has any rights to her. You don't meet his criteria then it's easy for him to say no. A smart answer's not gonna help you get in his good graces.

 

[SuperFerret]

Did you give him an answer when he asked you this?

 

[terry78]

God forbid she had brothers. Anytime you date a chick that has more than one brother, you are pretty much on the radar permanently. She can be the biggest biatch imaginable and they may even say it, but if you do her wrong....

 

[The Guard]

Why the dad wants to know these things is irrelevant. He could be a control freak, or he could be a good father doing what's best for his daughter. Point is, this is an issue that's going to have to be faced if he wants to go out with this girl.

Deal with it, or don't.

 

[terry78]

All guys act like this, but as soon as we have our first daughter, it shifts.

 

[Rain]

God forbid she had brothers. Anytime you date a chick that has more than one brother, you are pretty much on the radar permanently. She can be the biggest biatch imaginable and they may even say it, but if you do her wrong....

....they come at you with razor blades and lemon juice

 

[SuperFerret]

Honestly, I'm too much older than my sister to do anything but scare guys her age. My brother on the other hand is only 3 years older than her, so he'll be administering the beatings.

 

[Obi-Ron]

Long story short, last thursday was a Halloween dance at another school, I grinded and danced with some girls, had a good time, and met some new people. But one of the girls i danced with was really attractive and seemed attractive so I talk to her outside and got her number for future hangouts.

So today i call her and her dad said her and I could not hang out because that he's curious to know who am, what i do, and what my parents do. Honestly, I understand maybe the who i am part, but my parents???? Seriously, am I missing something or does this not click at all?

If she's that attractive there is no end to the creepy guys he's got to protect her from. If you think you are good enough for her, prove it. Otherwise - quit your bellyaching.

 

[FrostBite]

My parents left me to raise myself, they cared, were interested into what I was into, but never once pried into my personal life as most of you are suggesting needs to happen.

The result? I became a 3.8GPA student in college who's completely straight edge refuses to consume alcohol, and has dated a lovely girl who's one of the nicest most competent individuals you'll ever meet.

Explain to me why parents need to pry?

Oh, wait, so, they can end up like my cousins, whose parents constantly barraged them with inquiries until the decided to escape into underage drinking, and drugs. Yay!

Listen, parents will do what they do, and kids will do what they do. You can be overprotective, underprotective, and your kids are going to end up doing whatever the **** they want to in the end.

If you like the girl cooperate and do what he says, if you don't care that much, then drop it.

 

[SuperFerret]

It's very likely a moot point right now. Either Cash gave a wiseass or otherwise acceptable answer (as is indicated by the tone of the opening post) or he's waiting for our input, which means he gave no answer.

Also, FrostBite, depending on what you consider to be "prying", you may be right, or you may be the exception.

 

[katie_girl09]

I too would like to know what he considers "prying". I think the problem with a lot of kids is that their parents weren't enough of a presence in their lives.

 

[FrostBite]

It's very likely a moot point right now. Either Cash gave a wiseass or otherwise acceptable answer (as is indicated by the tone of the opening post) or he's waiting for our input, which means he gave no answer.

Also, FrostBite, depending on what you consider to be "prying", you may be right, or you may be the exception.

I just mean being overprotective. I side with the TC in saying the dad is asking a bit much in needing to know his parents.

But seriously, parents can't control their kids.

My girlfriends parents were crazy, CRAZY protective, to the point of wanting to call the cops on me when they saw me talking to her.

She turned out to be pretty much like me, her sister on the other hand is crazy and beats her parents back, her brother is incredibly silly and bright and lighthearted, and her other brother is anti-social and glued to the PC.

Thus, your kids are just going to come out as they are. You can only guide them in the right direction, and not force them to live a certain way. If they want something bad enough--they'll move in that path regardless.

I agree with being a lenient parent who sets boundaries and steps in when things go awry. I'm no exception, my mom taught me from an early age how to act, and it stuck with me--I'm just not stupid, she educated me, and by the time I reached school I wasn't an idiot. Maybe that's the key?

I don't want parents with no presence, I just believe parents shouldn't have too much presence. Allow them to be kids, and explore and screw up and cry, and get hurt. It's the only way they are going to grow, just step in when you know something is too wrong. For all we know, this chick could have been in freakish trouble before hand which left the dad a paranoid mess when it comes to dating so he may just want some info before letting his daughter out into the world.

Which is why I said the to TC, if you realllly want her, do what the man says. Lord knows I did, and 5 years later I am still with my girl.

 

[SuperFerret]

So you're saying that what your daughter's boyfriend's parents do would have no effect on your opinion on her dating him?

I'd say that falls into the Need to Know category, because it can give you insight into who the boyfriend is.

Yes, kids are going to come out as they are, but people also need to realize that you're a complete idiot until you live on your own for a while, and therefore have no idea what you want or what's good for you.

 

[katie_girl09]

I agree that you can't control your kids, but how is he being overprotective wanting to know about the family of the boy who wants to date his daughter? He has every right to know. Like others have said, why is this even an issue if you have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of? My friends' parents ask me about my family all the time. It isn't a big deal.

 

[FrostBite]

So you're saying that what your daughter's boyfriend's parents do would have no effect on your opinion on her dating him?

I'd say that falls into the Need to Know category, because it can give you insight into who the boyfriend is.

Yes, kids are going to come out as they are, but people also need to realize that you're a complete idiot until you live on your own for a while, and therefore have no idea what you want or what's good for you.

Actually, as long as they aren't drug dealers, assassin's, or in an illegal sex trade, I don't care what they do. Be it doctor, working at McDonald's or Chimney sweep, why am I supposed to care honestly?

What they do has no bearing on how my daughter's interest in him or his interest in her.

What I would have interest in however, is meeting the boy himself, and getting to know him more before I label him "bad seed" material off of his parents occupations--after all, she isn't dating his parents.

 

[SuperFerret]

Actually, as long as they aren't drug dealers, assassin's, or in an illegal sex trade, I don't care what they do. Be it doctor, working at McDonald's or Chimney sweep, why am I supposed to care honestly?

What they do has no bearing on how my daughter's interest in him or his interest in her.

What I would have interest in however, is meeting the boy himself, and getting to know him more before I label him "bad seed" material off of his parents occupations--after all, she isn't dating his parents.

Okay, picture this then. You know for a fact that your daughter's boyfriend's parents work low-end jobs, either retail or whatever, but are clearly under the poverty level. He himself works a part-time job at McDonalds, yet he always seems to have an abundance of money, has a nice car, etc. My question to you is this, do you trust him to be around your daughter?

 

[FrostBite]

I agree that you can't control your kids, but how is he being overprotective wanting to know about the family of the boy who wants to date his daughter? He has every right to know. Like others have said, why is this even an issue if you have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of? My friends' parents ask me about my family all the time. It isn't a big deal.

I agree, if he has nothing to hide to just speak up. After all, I'm agreeing with everyone here to just cooperate with the dad if he's interested in the girl. Never denied that one!

And the dad has every right to parent his way, I just don't completely agree that it needs to be criteria that is met before simply hanging out with someone.

Heck, I was allowed to hang out with all sorts of bad influences, even almost dated a few. But as I said, my mother taught me from an early age--which if the father did that in the first place he wouldn't have to be so terrified of his daughter in the outside world.

Though, my judgment on his judgment doesn't matter much, as I said, every parent has varying parenting techniques that have resulted in pretty much the same thing--a functional society. He's not going to corrupt his kids, the same way he's not going to protect them.

So... as I've agreed before, let him do what he's going to do and cooperate. After all, no one said that the logical way to act is the way a person's actually going to act once they have a child. Despite driving for 4 years with no accidents/tickets/etc. my mother still worries when I am out on the road. Parent's are always going to be paranoid--it's their biological drive to be.

I just don't have to agree with it.

 

[katie_girl09]

Actually, as long as they aren't drug dealers, assassin's, or in an illegal sex trade, I don't care what they do. Be it doctor, working at McDonald's or Chimney sweep, why am I supposed to care honestly?

What they do has no bearing on how my daughter's interest in him or his interest in her.

What I would have interest in however, is meeting the boy himself, and getting to know him more before I label him "bad seed" material off of his parents occupations--after all, she isn't dating his parents.

How would you know any of that if you don't ask questions first?

And as for the second thing, sometimes interest in each other is not all there is to a relationship. The good thing about listening to your parents is that sometimes they can see things in a person that you can't see because you're too infatuated or smitten with them. It's helpful having more than one pair of eyes, if you know what I mean.

 

[SuperFerret]

I just don't see what's so damn wrong with knowing who your kids associate with? Or the big deal with Cash answering this girl's father's questions, especially if he has nothing to hide.

 

[terry78]

Katie speaks from experience, I believe. She had to go through a few pieces of coal before she found the diamond.

 

[FrostBite]

Okay, picture this then. You know for a fact that your daughter's boyfriend's parents work low-end jobs, either retail or whatever, but are clearly under the poverty level. He himself works a part-time job at McDonalds, yet he always seems to have an abundance of money, has a nice car, etc. My question to you is this, do you trust him to be around your daughter?

Never said that--but, still, that's her mistake to make if something's wrong. However if I see him bullying her, manhandling her, talking down to her, swearing at her, yelling at her, or treating her in anyway out of character I deem worthy... I'd probably step in.

 

[FrostBite]

How would you know any of that if you don't ask questions first?

And as for the second thing, sometimes interest in each other is not all there is to a relationship. The good thing about listening to your parents is that sometimes they can see things in a person that you can't see because you're too infatuated or smitten with them. It's helpful having more than one pair of eyes, if you know what I mean.

I can give them advice, but I've seen it time and time again that they will do what they want to.

Case and point--my girl. Do you really think her parents wanted her with me?

If I FORCE them out of their relationship I will only cause them to resent me whether it was the right thing to do or not--and in the end they'll rebel even more.

 

[SuperFerret]

Never said that--but, still, that's her mistake to make if something's wrong. However if I see him bullying her, manhandling her, talking down to her, swearing at her, yelling at her, or treating her in anyway out of character I deem worthy... I'd probably step in.

What if he treats her like a princess, takes damn good care of her, gives her gifts on a weekly basis and is every bit the prince she thinks he is, BUT all his money comes from his side job of being a coke dealer?