Come on...like SERIOUSLY!!!!

[terry78]

^Then you ask how you can get a piece of that pie.

 

[FrostBite]

What if he treats her like a princess, takes damn good care of her, gives her gifts on a weekly basis and is every bit the prince she thinks he is, BUT all his money comes from his side job of being a coke dealer?

I think you're a wee bit paranoid of the outside world--and straying the topic far beyond what this kid is talking about.

This kid is saying he wants to hang out with her--one time. They aren't in a committed relationship, nor has the dad had anything to judge the kid on.

Why can't the dad meet up with the TC, talk to him, say hello, let them go hang out, and IF a relationship evolves start asking questions?

You're all pointing me out to be a source of contention and debate--but really, I'm pretty much on each of your sides on telling him to cooperate, I just had varying views on parenting skills. Yeesh.

^Then you ask how you can get a piece of that pie.

I laughed so hard my ribs hurt.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Never said that--but, still, that's her mistake to make if something's wrong. However if I see him bullying her, manhandling her, talking down to her, swearing at her, yelling at her, or treating her in anyway out of character I deem worthy... I'd probably step in.

Not really.

I'm all for kids learning themselves making their own mistakes and learning from them, I think that's great. However there comes a certain point where as a parent you actively work to prevent your children from making certain kinds of mistakes.

I don't let my daughter play in dangerous areas and I won't let her date dangerous people. The risk can easily outweigh the possible lessons learned.

If it were me I probably wouldn't ask too many questions directly to her boyfriend and I hope that by the time my daughter dates she's developed enough to be able to pick a good guy out from a bad one, but that doesn't mean that I won't do everything to protect her no matter what.

 

[SuperFerret]

I'm not paranoid, I just live by a simple philosophy: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

And terry, damn you for making me laugh that hard.

 

[katie_girl09]

Katie speaks from experience, I believe. She had to go through a few pieces of coal before she found the diamond.

I'm so tired that I can't figure out whether that is genuine or a backhanded insult.

 

[FrostBite]

Not really.

I'm all for kids learning themselves making their own mistakes and learning from them, I think that's great. However there comes a certain point where as a parent you actively work to prevent your children from making certain kinds of mistakes.

I don't let my daughter play in dangerous areas and I won't let her date dangerous people. The risk can easily outweigh the possible lessons learned.

If it were me I probably wouldn't ask too many questions directly to her boyfriend and I hope that by the time my daughter dates she's developed enough to be able to pick a good guy out from a bad one, but that doesn't mean that I won't do everything to protect her no matter what.

Which is exactly what I said in several posts. :P So... again, I don't know why people are really debating me. I said guidelines, boundaries, protecting, stepping in when things are wrong... I never said anything against being a protective parent.

But as you said, I suggested against direct questions right off the bat to a potential boyfriend as I found that to be overly protective behavior. That's all.

I'm not paranoid, I just live by a simple philosophy: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

And terry, damn you for making me laugh that hard.

Then I guess we are two eggs in the same basket actually.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Which is exactly what I said in several posts. :P So... again, I don't know why people are really debating me. I said guidelines, boundaries, protecting, stepping in when things are wrong... I never said anything against being a protective parent.

But as you said, I suggested against direct questions right off the bat to a potential boyfriend. That's all.



Then I guess we are two eggs in the same basket actually.

If you agree then why are you debating?

I was just throwing in my two cents. Your posts seem to indicate that you're okay with someone letting their kid date people who are *******s until they act on those tendancies.

Waiting until someone hurts my daughter is waiting too long.

 

[FrostBite]

If you agree then why are you debating?

I was just throwing in my two cents. Your posts seem to indicate that you're okay with someone letting their kid date people who are *******s until they act on those tendancies.

Waiting until someone hurts my daughter is waiting too long.

Not at all.. I was just saying I won't be overly paranoid. And somehow they got into talk of me being a crazy man who lets his daughter run around with coke dealers just because I would let them hang out with someone before pre-screening them.

So no, I am not fine with that at all, I just don't want to be overly protective and ask every kid questions at first meeting. And I was just debating with you to clear my name and my intentions to tell you we're on the same side.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Not at all.. I was just saying I won't be overly paranoid. And somehow they got into talk of me being a crazy man who lets his daughter run around with coke dealers just because I would let them hang out with someone before pre-screening them.

So no, I am not fine with that at all, I just don't want to be overly protective and ask every kid questions at first meeting. And I was just debating with you to clear my name and my intentions to tell you we're on the same side.

Haha. Okay. I dig.

So what do your parents do for a living?

 

[FrostBite]

Haha. Okay. I dig.

So what do your parents do for a living?

Out of the sheer fact I loving answering questions: My mother's a teacher and my father is a schizophrenic.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Is that a professional or amateur schizophrenic?

 

[FrostBite]

Is that a professional or amateur schizophrenic?

If you stop taking your meds several times and your brain degenerates further into a cracked withered mass that leaves you mumbling to yourself incessantly... professional. :/

 

[Majic Walrus]

Best kind.

Sorry to make light of your father's obviously severe mental condition. But I don't think he'd mind.

 

[FrostBite]

Best kind.

Sorry to make light of your father's obviously severe mental condition. But I don't think he'd mind.

Actually, seeing as he still knows what's going on... he'd probably break your nose. The man's a beast.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Just tell him I'm another voice...

I'm done, I'm sorry... I'm so funny I can't help myself.

 

[E-Man]

I think it's all about the tone of the parent. It's one thing to inquire about who your kid is dating, it's another thing to be an ******* and interrogate the kid like you're a cop. Everything is really about balance though. It's fine to get to know who your kid is dating. Nothing wrong with a friendly convo asking about a person's background. It's perfectly normal to want to know about a person, but it's not normal for a parent to feel as if they owe you something. You have to respect a person's space, no matter how old they are. I've encountered some crazily overprotective fathers in the past, and it just doesn't work. The more you try to control your kid, the more they push away, and that's where my crazy exes come from. lol

 

[Majic Walrus]

I think it's all about the tone of the parent. It's one thing to inquire about who your kid is dating, it's another thing to be an ******* and interrogate the kid like you're a cop. Everything is really about balance though. It's fine to get to know who your kid is dating. Nothing wrong with a friendly convo asking about a person's background. It's perfectly normal to want to know about a person, but it's not normal for a parent to feel as if they owe you something. You have to respect a person's space, no matter how old they are. I've encountered some crazily overprotective fathers in the past, and it just doesn't work. The more you try to control your kid, the more they push away, and that's where my crazy exes come from. lol

Not really.

 

[FrostBite]

I think it's all about the tone of the parent. It's one thing to inquire about who your kid is dating, it's another thing to be an ******* and interrogate the kid like you're a cop. Everything is really about balance though. It's fine to get to know who your kid is dating. Nothing wrong with a friendly convo asking about a person's background. It's perfectly normal to want to know about a person, but it's not normal for a parent to feel as if they owe you something. You have to respect a person's space, no matter how old they are. I've encountered some crazily overprotective fathers in the past, and it just doesn't work. The more you try to control your kid, the more they push away, and that's where my crazy exes come from. lol

I love your post so much that I want to marry it, and reproduce with it.

On the less creepy side, I agree 150%

 

[E-Man]

Not really.

Why not? Everyone deserves some level of respect.

 

[FrostBite]

Why not? Everyone deserves some level of respect.

You're thinking too rationally here.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Why not? Everyone deserves some level of respect.

I don't necessarily think so.

 

[ChickenScratch]

I think you're a wee bit paranoid of the outside world--and straying the topic far beyond what this kid is talking about.
This kid is saying he wants to hang out with her--one time. They aren't in a committed relationship, nor has the dad had anything to judge the kid on.
Why can't the dad meet up with the TC, talk to him, say hello, let them go hang out, and IF a relationship evolves start asking questions?
You're all pointing me out to be a source of contention and debate--but really, I'm pretty much on each of your sides on telling him to cooperate, I just had varying views on parenting skills. Yeesh.
I laughed so hard my ribs hurt.

On the same note, it's his daughter, it's his call on who his daughter goes out with, no matter if it's just to hang out with one time. You don't let them date then ask questions, kids are dumb and next thing you know she's got a thing for a damn little dropout criminal. What good is it gonna do to ask questions at that point?

 

[E-Man]

I love your post so much that I want to marry it, and reproduce with it.

On the less creepy side, I agree 150%

I don't necessarily think so.

I don't see why not. We all want to be treated a certain way, so we should just put ourselves in other people's shoes. It's only logical. Mr. Spock would approve.

 

[Crook]

On the same note, it's his daughter, it's his call on who his daughter goes out with, no matter if it's just to hang out with one time. You don't let them date then ask questions, kids are dumb and next thing you know she's got a thing for a damn little dropout criminal. What good is it gonna do to ask questions at that point?

Yeah, that'll really work out well in the long run.

 

[FrostBite]

On the same note, it's his daughter, it's his call on who his daughter goes out with, no matter if it's just to hang out with one time. You don't let them date then ask questions, kids are dumb and next thing you know she's got a thing for a damn little dropout criminal. What good is it gonna do to ask questions at that point?

I take it back--he's not paranoid just cautious.

You are paranoid.