Cougar Camp

[AndThePickles]

You may ask, I was expecting it.

He was 39 then but you don't really think about the age difference except on occasion. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, if you like. He looks younger and is quite youthful and congenial about everything. In fact, my family and mates love him. Even my Christian mates. He jokes a lot - yes, some I think are bad but that's my opinion because I'm too conditioned to see through his 'poker face'; naturally can get on well with anyone; cooks well and has been known to be missed by his cooking and he often is the advocate and butt of playful humour. My family ribs him out on his 'spork' or 'hobbit' fingers, which he really does have, but I think that's an Italian feature.

We're very much like a family: dinners and parties and going out and the like. Had dinner at my mother's house last night, he wanted to visit my mum's partner on account of a burst appendix, which was nice of him.

So they really don't have a problem, mostly I guess because they see how good and happy he has been for me and vice versa. Other than being a nice guy of course.

I think there tends to exist a perception that if there is an age gap in a relationship, money might be a factor if not the main factor. Not the case at all with mine though. Or sex as the sole reason for that matter too.

Sounds like you have a happy relationship

 

[Yurka]

Its for this reason that I hate Sex and the City.

 

[pyromaniac]

Sounds like you have a happy relationship

I just don't like the fights we have. He does my head in sometimes.
But I wear the pants in the relationship so I am always right.

 

[chaseter]

This thread smells of menopause and desperation.

 

[Mr. Credible]

Mr C, just because of the age difference doesn't automatically assure lack of a future. Must you want to control everything so that it has to be 'perfect?' People get together for less credible (pun intended) reasons than that. I'm sure you know what I mean...

There are plenty of age-gap relationships I know that are still thriving. Just takes maturity, commitment, loyalty and all the usuals. I'm 22 going on 23 and my boyfriend is 45 and we're five years strong. We're not together because of the age difference though. In fact, it's not a reason at all.

What I don't get is that if you couldn't see a future for you and your girlfriend, how come she saw a different version?

Therefore the future is a matter of interpretation? Or you felt you'd burn out one day so to speak?

Jag, I was gonna counter ATP's comment about older women's pregnancies, but you got me there. I think the oldest living woman on record who could bear a child was about 60. A near miracle really, considering the state of their uterus by then.

so... you were 17, and he was 40 when you got together? what a perv (him, not you... well, kinda )

and the reason i didn't see a future, and she did, is that she didn't think of herself at being 44. she had a very serious like, i don't know, complex about it. but the fact was that she was 44, and that's why i didn't see a future beyond the next few years, and i didn't want to waste her time. i mean, c'mon, i know it sounds terrible, but men do age better than women, and i don't want to be 40 married a 60 year old, and i don't want to be married to someone that is almost guaranteed to die at least 20 years before i do.

if she were 20 years younger... hell, if she were 10 years younger, i'd have proposed to her instead of breaking up with her. i loved her with every little bit of me. she was the best girlfriend i've ever had.

 

[AndThePickles]

I just don't like the fights we have. He does my head in sometimes.
But I wear the pants in the relationship so I am always right.

Yeah, fighting sucks. I prefer it to "discussions" sometimes, though...I get angry and my boyfriend stays so level-headed that when I feel like screaming I wish he'd get mad too! t:

i don't want to be married to someone that is almost guaranteed to die at least 20 years before i do.

I think that would be my main issue with marrying someone that much older than me. I want to spend as much of my life as possible with my husband, so I'd be really scared knowing that there was a greater possibility of having to live a portion of it without him.

I imagine that you are also possibly at different places in your lives? For example, even though yes, she is capable of having children now, are you ready for a baby? What if you want one when you're in your thirties and she's not capable of having one then?

It sounds like having that large of an age gap isn't for you. I've known couples who made it work and are super happy, but maybe you'd be happier dating someone closer to your own age.

 

[pyromaniac]

so... you were 17, and he was 40 when you got together? what a perv (him, not you... well, kinda )

Lol. Takes two to tango, mate. And sex wasn't even the reason we got together, unlike a lot of gay relationships I know that uses it as a springboard, or part of, that leads to one.

and the reason i didn't see a future, and she did, is that she didn't think of herself at being 44. she had a very serious like, i don't know, complex about it. but the fact was that she was 44, and that's why i didn't see a future beyond the next few years, and i didn't want to waste her time. i mean, c'mon, i know it sounds terrible, but men do age better than women, and i don't want to be 40 married a 60 year old, and i don't want to be married to someone that is almost guaranteed to die at least 20 years before i do.

if she were 20 years younger... hell, if she were 10 years younger, i'd have proposed to her instead of breaking up with her. i loved her with every little bit of me. she was the best girlfriend i've ever had.

So you used logic to decide the fate of your relationship based on love, its polar opposite. Love is supposed to conquer all.

Or at least overlook faults like snoring, a bad temperament, and age difference in this case. Can one help one's age? You can't wish for what you can't control, but wish for what you can, and that's being in love. A lot of people don't get to have that privilege. I'm just saying. And a lot of couples have been left widowed or lost one to cancer or premature death, so plan a long future all you like, some things you just can't determine.

While I know things are more complicated and there are factors involved and I know you loved/love her, but you're basing your lack of future together on looks? I mean, sounds like you were compatible in every which way except age, and even then that's a triviality for successful age-gap relationships - which are admittedly rarer compared to similar age or ten-year difference relationships.

 

[chaseter]

pyro...you are dating a man 23 years older than you!? I mean you must have realized that if you adopt anytime soon or the near future...your mate will be nearly 70 by the time your kid graduates high school.

 

[pyromaniac]

Yeah, fighting sucks. I prefer it to "discussions" sometimes, though...I get angry and my boyfriend stays so level-headed that when I feel like screaming I wish he'd get mad too! t:

On the bright side, you know your relationship is 'normal' when you fight, or discuss, or argue, or debate... Even when you make up, I just don't like the process, particularly when it's a cause for vexation and frustration. All that negative energy...

The problem with my boyfriend is that he commits logical fallacies the way you commit hara krishnu on a regular basis. It's my job to help him, so to speak.

I think that would be my main issue with marrying someone that much older than me. I want to spend as much of my life as possible with my husband, so I'd be really scared knowing that there was a greater possibility of having to live a portion of it without him.

True. Look at it this way. Being in an age-gap relationship, you at least prepare for that possibility. I say possibility because you can still break up for other reasons, though you know it's 'there'. But you prepare, compared to say, an unexpected death or the timing of the break up. You don't know. So you have more preparation in the former than in the second!

I imagine that you are also possibly at different places in your lives? For example, even though yes, she is capable of having children now, are you ready for a baby? What if you want one when you're in your thirties and she's not capable of having one then?

It sounds like having that large of an age gap isn't for you. I've known couples who made it work and are super happy, but maybe you'd be happier dating someone closer to your own age.

I forgot about being at different places in life. That can be a big disadvantage too, regardless of age.

 

[pyromaniac]

pyro...you are dating a man 23 years older than you!? I mean you must have realized that if you adopt anytime soon or the near future...your mate will be nearly 70 by the time your kid graduates high school.

Well, that's why we have a dog for that!

 

[AndThePickles]

Haha, I love your sense of humor, pyro. I imagine that you've had to endure plenty of disapproval/questions from strangers at some point in your relationship. Glad you're so cheerful and happy about things!

 

[pyromaniac]

Haha, I love your sense of humor, pyro. I imagine that you've had to endure plenty of disapproval/questions from strangers at some point in your relationship. Glad you're so cheerful and happy about things!

Thanks, ATP.

But surprisingly no disapproval/questions. If there were, it was done in jest, usually from gay friends and gay friendly people.

It's a sad fact that in a primarily heterosexual society you can get away with token PDAs, but homosexuals can be a little uncomfortable doing so for understandable reasons. Not everyone; like me for instance. I don't let little things like that bother me and we're affectionate as hell, but I acknowledge it plays somewhat in the back of your mind, and it can dictate your behaviour. In a public place if you want to freely kiss him or hold hands the way straight couples do, you can hesitate or not follow on through at all. If you're bolder, you really wouldn't only want to be affectionate in 'designated' areas as I like to call them, ie in a gay area or among friends.

 

[AndThePickles]

It's a sad fact that in a primarily heterosexual society you can get away with token PDAs, but homosexuals can be a little uncomfortable doing so for understandable reasons. Not everyone; like me for instance. I don't let little things like that bother me and we're affectionate as hell, but I acknowledge it plays somewhat in the back of your mind, and it can dictate your behaviour. In a public place if you want to freely kiss him or hold hands the way straight couples do, you can hesitate or not follow on through at all. If you're bolder, you really wouldn't only want to be affectionate in 'designated' areas as I like to call them, ie in a gay area or among friends.

Yeah, I definitely understand. I don't normally have to worry about it, but as I am in an interracial relationship, we often get dirty looks from people just walking close together and not even holding hands. People should be free to be affectionate with each other without feeling uncomfortable; it's such a shame

 

[pyromaniac]

Yes, environment can be a large factor. You would be caught dead in the streets of Egypt, or in a red neck area.

What race are you?

 

[AndThePickles]

Yes, environment can be a large factor. You would be caught dead in the streets of Egypt, or in a red neck area.

What race are you?

White. He's black. Thankfully, my family loves him and they aren't racist, but even going to the mall usually brings out the racist prick in other shoppers And I live in a highly diverse area.

 

[chaseter]

Spoons is a big guy...he can take down any bumpkins.

 

[pyromaniac]

White. He's black. Thankfully, my family loves him and they aren't racist, but even going to the mall usually brings out the racist prick in other shoppers And I live in a highly diverse area.

Give them the angry, bullseye death stare.

 

[KenK]

Hahaha, I didn't know that there were women out there who actually WANTED to be labeled as cougars!

My ex was a few years older than me, and she used to HATE when I joked about her being a cougar.

 

[X-Punisher]

the one odd part about this video is when the lady asks "What about the 17 and 18 year olds?" ... isn't a 40 year old woman dating a 17 year old illegal?

only in some states. where i live the age of consent is 17

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Spoons is a big guy...he can take down any bumpkins.

Lemme at 'em boss!

 

[TEDDY]

There's a camp for feral jungle cats?


Huh. The more you know...


TEDDY!!!