Dysfunctional families

[Fran]

I'm sure everyone's family is dysfunctional in one way or another, just depends on how big or small the "dysfunction" is.

I just wanted to ask if anyone else has this sort of problem I'm going to tell here...

I have a stepbrother and a stepsister. My mom married their dad (My stepdad) 10 years ago, this October. My stepbrother and his wife are 26, and my stepsister is 30 and "taken".

Well, last summer, their aunt comes to visit for a couple of weeks, in early July. She lives in Virginia, and obviously, it's a long trip. So everyone from my stepdad's side of my family (his mom, sister, kids) go down to our cottage and get together, just hang out there.

But last summer, my stepbrother was ignoring his dad. I mean, like he wouldn't acknowledge him even if he were right in his face. And it all has to deal with their mother lying about a money issue when the two got a divorce long ago... that's a different story entirely, and one I'm not 100% sure about.

Anyways... this ignoring of my stepdad spread from my stepbro onto my stepsister. They both avoid my mom and him when they come out to the cottage all summer. Hell, my stepbro has even called the cottage to make sure they weren't there.

Now for some odd reason, apparently, they don't have a problem with me. My stepbro was angry with his dad for a long time after marrying my mom, but he's past that, I believe. Us three have always been pretty close, well, recently, just me and my stepsister.

I haven't talked to my stepbrother since that time in early July. The guy lives two blocks away from my mom/stepdad's house, and can't even say "Hey" to his dad every once in a while. My mom and stepdad haven't spoken to him since that July.

Now here's what sent my mom over the edge...
My birthday is July 30. I couldn't make it out to the cottage that day, and my stepsis and her boyfriend visited the cottage that day. They left a card out on a small coffee table for me, some money as a b-day gift. It was from all four of them (Stepbro/wife, stepsis/BF), and I guess they couldn't walk two blocks to my old house to deliver the card.

But in November-ish, my parents talked with my stepsis, and we're okay with her since then. But I haven't seen my stepbrother in a long time.

I know, I know, long thread, but I have a point here.

Now I haven't heard much news of my stepbrother and his wife for a LONG time. But I went to visit my mom today, and pick up my stepdad's truck. She told me some interesting news, and news that kinda shocked me. My stepdad's sister told her that my stepbrother and his wife are expecting a baby. It's kinda shocking, since we all never thought they'd have a child... and it's weird that I'm considered somewhat an "uncle" when the child is born.

The sad thing is, his sister, his grandma, and his father have no idea.

And, he's buying a lot on a lake nearby and building a new house.

The problem is, this guy is in-debt up to his eyeballs. He has a home theater (90" HD screen projection, in-wall speakers, two couches, poker table, nice bar area, workout room) in his basement. He is a "Cable Technician" for Comcast, and his wife is a Pharmacist. I can see them paying it off somewhat, but I don't understand why he keeps buying this stuff

Anyways, that's my little rant/tale about my dysfunctional family.

I really want to talk to my stepbrother sometime soon, just to talk, catch up, and ask him why he's doing this type of **** to his own FATHER.

Anyone else ever had problems/stuff like this happen before?

 

[jaguarr]

Every family has it's own odd problems, and every family has members with issues (some rational and some not). In the end, though, you've got to remember that you're all family and need to be able to count on each other no matter what. Sounds like your step-brother may have forgotten that. Life's too short for that kind of stuff and when your step-dad passes on, your step-brother is going to really regret having lived his life treating his father that way, particularly if he let's it go unresolved like this until it's too late.

jag

 

[Fran]

The sad thing is, my stepdad is in Arkansas getting a new puppy. His dog got put to sleep a few weeks ago, so he was pretty devastated about that... but this new puppy will probably heal that part of his heart.

But my mom HAS to tell him when he gets back Tuesday... I'm not so sure what his reaction will be.

 

[StorminNorman]

Want a dysfunctional family?

17 years and some months ago my Dad and mom have a beautiful baby boy who they named Norman "Tho".

17 years and some less months later they tell this fine child that he infacts has a grandmother (on his fathers side) and two half sisters, with full fledging families of their own. My half sisters are about the same age as my mother, and each have children and in one or two cases grandchildren.

So I have an entire family that I did not know about until I was almost an adult

On top of that, on my mothers side, I have a boarderline alcoholic grandmother, a former-cocaine adict uncle (who spent all of my grandmothers money on his habit), two cousins (from my uncle) one of which is 25, has 2 former husbands, and two children both of which she doesn't take care of.

 

[Fran]

Holy crap, dude.

But I feel bad for this child... he's not really gonna have a good father figure...

 

[Fran]

I've always had a suspect feeling that my Dad has other children, but I don't honestly think so...

But what did you feel when you found that out? A mixture of sadness (for your dad not telling you) and happiness?

 

[StorminNorman]

I've always had a suspect feeling that my Dad has other children, but I don't honestly think so...

But what did you feel when you found that out? A mixture of sadness (for your dad not telling you) and happiness?

I haven't quite defined the emotion. I mean there are few sensations like the news that your Dad has hid a major part of his life from you.

 

[Fran]

I don't know if I could take that, really... I'm sure it took a toll on you for a while.

 

[StorminNorman]

I don't know if I could take that, really... I'm sure it took a toll on you for a while.

 

[Fran]

"StorminNorman Begins"

 

[Fran]

So yeah, I'm thinking about going over to his house to just talk to him, to wonder why he's acting like this/try and talk some sense into him. Think that's a good idea, or just wait it out?

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Cottage ?

 

[Fran]

My stepdad's mom's cottage. Yeah...

 

[Fran]

Got another update here... basically copying and pasting.

----

For the past 9+ years, my mom has been married to my stepdad. He is a, well, different person. He is very uptight, and is a ****ing PRICK. Ever since my mom told me when I was 10, "We're getting married," I've despised the guy. When I moved out, I was so much happier.

He has two children, a daughter who is 30, and a 28 y/o son. Just recently, the son and his wife got pregnant. And apparently, they threatened my stepdad of never being able to see his grandchild. They, I mean the wife/son and his daughter.

What my stepdad needed to do? Get my mom, and to a lesser extent, myself, out of his life forever.

I guess this all came to a head yesterday, fittingly, on Mother's Day. They had a huge fight, and my mom called him out on some strange/stupid **** he's done over the years.

For example...
1. I stayed out at his cottage last summer for about 2 weeks. He said it was fine, so did Mom. The hot water wasn't working when I got out there, and he turned it on a day or so later.
--- NOW, I thought that was a mistake. But apparently, he was told by his son and daughter to turn off the hot water. They didn't like me staying out there, even if it was OK'd originally. What the **** is up with that?

2. For my birthday last year, they all wrote their names on a Big Lots-made card, (the daughter wrote them all) and gave me a check for $20. The thing is, they left it at the cottage, which I haven't visited since my early June stay there.
--- My mom told them to keep the money, and we never cashed the check. Apparently, they called ahead everytime my mom or myself was on the way out to the cottage/or if we were already there.

3. Everytime his son wanted to talk to him, his daughter would call ahead and ask, "Is my dad there?" and give the phone to my stepbrother.
--- Isn't that a cowardly act? And ****ty as well?

4. I thought his sister/my step-Aunt was one of the good ones, as with his mom. But no. They were all talking about my mom behind her back, and talking about me to a lesser extent.

The crazy thing is, this whole family was CONSPIRING against me and my mother. Like some sick plan to drive us away.

Those ****ers got what they wanted. My mom is moving out into a rent house she owns. She's making my stepdad put new shingles on it.

My aunt is just enraged right now at that family. She's avoided some visits because she's too pissed at my stepdad. As with my mom's best friend and her daughter, who used to babysit me.

When mom told me, I had somethings to say.
1. I never liked my stepdad, not ever. He was bad news from the start.
2. He is a pawn in his kids' game. And he will let them continue to do so. He has no will power of his own.
3. I hate that family with all my heart right now.
4. If I see my step brother/sister (just, like, passing by or something) I will tell them to "Burn in hell." Or at least tell them how I feel about them.
5. My mom was saying she's a failure. She wanted to make it a family again. But no, that family is the failure. They don't want to put forth any effort to get along, then **** them.
6. I will never speak to my stepdad again, starting today. My mom is living at the house until the rent house's roof is done. At least she's taking our cat with her, I love the little guy.

I know, it's a long-ass read... but I know some families are dysfunctional.

This is beyond dysfunctional. This is just pure ****ED UP bull****.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

The Cottage is cursed.

basically just copy/pasting.

 

[Honey Vibe]

Want a dysfunctional family?

17 years and some months ago my Dad and mom have a beautiful baby boy who they named Norman "Tho".

17 years and some less months later they tell this fine child that he infacts has a grandmother (on his fathers side) and two half sisters, with full fledging families of their own. My half sisters are about the same age as my mother, and each have children and in one or two cases grandchildren.

So I have an entire family that I did not know about until I was almost an adult

On top of that, on my mothers side, I have a boarderline alcoholic grandmother, a former-cocaine adict uncle (who spent all of my grandmothers money on his habit), two cousins (from my uncle) one of which is 25, has 2 former husbands, and two children both of which she doesn't take care of.

Join the club. I just found out a few months ago that I have a sister, my age, somewhere in New Orleans. I found out five years before that I have a brother somewhere in Phoenix.

Stop blaming your family for your problems. You can't use their shortcomings as an excuse.

 

[Fran]

Stop blaming your family for your problems. You can't use their shortcomings as an excuse.

You still talkin' to Norman, or me?