Film Trailers So Bad... They're Bad (In A Good Way)

[KRYPTON INC.]

Post the trailers that look like they are actually parody trailers... But they are the actual trailers, for films that time wishes it could forget. Discuss them. Point and laugh. Have a good time with other Hypesters doing it. t:

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Eliminators:[YT]U5Jg8SWzaZY[/YT]

Let's see what we got here: Denise Crosby? Check. Cliche' trailer music? Check. Announcer trying his damndest to make this sound cool and compelling? Check.

I like the line explaining that they are all the tops in their fields. I always wanted to be the top name in Mandroidism. I hear Penn State has a great Mandroid program that's very hard to get into. I remember this trailer from childhood. At 9 I really wanted to see this film but never got a chance. I've never seen the film... And really I don't want to. After seeing the trailer there's no way the actual film could match the one in my head.

Force Five:[YT]U4ZOkZsjyYI[/YT]

Okay... The shame is these really are some of the most legendary martial artists from the late 1970's and early 1980's. But man oh man .

I mean, from the sleazy music that starts to play to intro the female lead, to the over the top voice over guy. This was directed by Robert Clouse and it's obvious that even in 1981 he was still chasing the success of Enter The Dragon, with diminishing returns it seems. I mean, it even seems to be aping the plot of ETD. "In number... FIVE! In force... LIKE AN ARMY". How long did it take them to come up with that line?

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

This is a fan trailer for the film Megaforce. It's a case of the trailer being done intentionally in cliche' style. Please watch through to the end because... Well, you'll see.

Megaforce:[YT]Q9yPSkQTLlA[/YT]

Warrior Of The Lost World:[YT]j9Un8h9JeM8[/YT]

Immortalized with the MST3K treatment, this trailer pretty much tries as hard as the actual film... And fails as equally. What made them think that the annoying sounds the kooky motorcycle computer made would entice anyone to see this movie? A barrel of unintentional laughs.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Delta Force 2:[YT]xkO2o_auRik[/YT]

Nice to see Peter Cullen getting work... It's a shame it was for being the VO guy for schlock like this. I love how the narration is written to be so "humorous" .

I Come In Peace:[YT]pAVf_jsBqJk[/YT]

Okay... This trailer does you all a valuable service... Now that you've seen it, you have no need to see the movie. It's all there. All the most entertaining parts and germane plot points of the film are condensed into less than 3 minutes. They even give you Dolph's hilarious rejoinder to the bad guy. So... There's 90 minutes of your life you don't have to waste on this crap.

 

[childeroland]

Disney's Descendents

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4UUQqefajc

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Hot damn... Disney cable stuff... That channel should be outlawed. Ha. That played like a SNL skit.

 

[Rowsdower!]

Every goddamned Terminator: Genisys trailer.

I seriously get pissed when I go to see a movie, the opening previews start, and I have to sit through that sh** instead of Mad Max or Ultron or ANYTHING that has a chance at being a good movie. I won't post the videos here because I don't want to be responsible for anyone watching those awful things.

"COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO SUCK!"

 

[Pink Ranger]

This is a fan trailer for the film Megaforce. It's a case of the trailer being done intentionally in cliche' style. Please watch through to the end because... Well, you'll see.

Megaforce:[YT]Q9yPSkQTLlA[/YT]

Seriously, if they are going to remake anything, remake this! Kevin Sorbo, Bruce Campbell or David Hasselhoff in the lead role.

 

[Victarion]

Shakma

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Seriously, if they are going to remake anything, remake this! Kevin Sorbo, Bruce Campbell or David Hasselhoff in the lead role.

I would accept Campbell... Sorbo and The Hoff aren't fit to fill out Bostwick's spandex riding suit.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Metalstorm: The Destruction Of Jared Syn:[YT]qOVRp_0tU7A[/YT]

Hey, in case the constant barrage of stuff flying towards that camera didn't let you know, but this film was in 3-D. I am sorry to say, I was actually taken to see this movie in theaters. I think my mom just wanted to see what the 3-D would be like, seeing as she hadn't really seen a 3-D film since the early 60's maybe. The thing is... They show you all the 3-D money shots and yet, the trailer wouldn't have been shown in 3-D... Makes no sense.

Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo:[YT]9YaNKBmRNvY[/YT]

What more can be said after seeing this thing. It's like the year 1985 just threw up and it was recorded for posterity.

 

[PalmerTheThing]

Man, I thought those SM3 trailers were awesome back in 2006 but now when i watch them I realize they are absolutely god awful.

Like if they were released today, everybody would of predicted the **** storm from a mile a way.

 

[Rowsdower!]

Haha but to be fair, superhero movie trailers and TV spots weren't great back then. I remember that one Batman Begins spot that had a f***ing Staind song in it.

 

[Goshdarn Batman]

Night of the Kickfighters.

[YT]FlJROV-AdDo[/YT]

 

[Goshdarn Batman]

Eliminators

[YT]WJgAeGUD2FU[/YT]

the part with the cyborg and the stairs.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

^See the first post.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Action Jackson:[YT]lnnA33SPYXU[/YT]

Oh Carl... You deserved so much better. This is another one that pretty much gives you the whole movie. Gotta love making a big deal out of him NOT using a gun only to end the trailer with him USING a gun. So... there goes any dramatic tension regarding that character trait.


King Kong Lives:[YT]73ux5CS61l0[/YT]

This film was done during Kong's cocaine addiction period, obviously.

I love how the narrator, again, spoon feeds the plot in the most over the top manner... HE'S A GIANT GORILLA! Not a Stephen Segal character! How can you tell the difference? The Gorilla can emote... And flings his own crap out of instinct. Segal can't emote and he CHOOSES to fling his own crap.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Zone Troopers:[YT]C-GFYi-O07s[/YT]

If you have never seen Zone Troopers... Dear Zod... Don't.

But seriously if you want to see a film with terrible production design, with a plot that includes but is not limited to: Aliens, WWII, Ghost Soldiers, Punching Hitler, and so much more, then you must watch Zone Troopers.

Mortal Kombat Annihilation:[YT]ObHbkrh8qZM[/YT]

Look at this trailer and weep, Oh gamers! WEEP!

 

[Sharkboy]

Every goddamned Terminator: Genisys trailer.

I seriously get pissed when I go to see a movie, the opening previews start, and I have to sit through that sh** instead of Mad Max or Ultron or ANYTHING that has a chance at being a good movie. I won't post the videos here because I don't want to be responsible for anyone watching those awful things.

"COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO SUCK!"

I don't know man, they look pretty good to me. Especially that last one.

Haha but to be fair, superhero movie trailers and TV spots weren't great back then. I remember that one Batman Begins spot that had a f***ing Staind song in it.

Oh the Nickelback song? The one that focused on Rachel and Bruce?

[YT]y9NNIQ-F5lw[/YT]

Yeah this film was made in that really weird period where all superhero films had nu-metal, alt rock soundtracks that littered these films. Thankfully Begins was actually made with some dignity...you would be mistaken looking at this tv spot though.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Top Dog:[YT]25xDKzytus4[/YT]

This is when Chuck just should have taken a rest... But he didn't.


License To Drive:[YT]a4KJtDxTqWQ[/YT]

This is when the Corey's should have taken a rest... But they didn't.

 

[StarLord]

A Talking Cat:

[YT]Y-h-KpG2tHM[/YT]


I mean. Holy ****. It's TERRIBLE.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

A Talking Cat:

[YT]Y-h-KpG2tHM[/YT]


I mean. Holy ****. It's TERRIBLE.

No exaggeration... That looks like the greatest crime against humanity ever perpetrated.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie:[YT]fi0-E1U_uYE[/YT]

Some people think that the Power Rangers aren't given the respect they deserve... Not true. They get all the respect they deserve... ZERO.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Jack Frost:[YT]orPZ0BMUI7k[/YT]

When this film came out... Ok... I know what they were going for but before my dad died, my mind was like... "Yeah, that's the film every kid that has a father in his life wants to see. A movie where his dad DIES and comes back as a snowman. " Their hearts were in the right place I suppose but in the end it just comes off as tin eared, ya know?

Double Team:[YT]pHmg5AOX_5s[/YT]

The Worm friends... There was a time he was this force in sports and entertainment. In sports... Well there's no argument. Dude has rings. But the attempt to make him a presence in entertainment baffles the hell out of me. Worst/Best part of the trailer is the attempt to put in basketball terms into the dialog.

Knock Off:[YT]La6MF5EtuNc[/YT]

These films were the setting of JCVD's popular stardom. My favorite part is when Schneider gets slapped in the face. It's sort of how we all feel on the inside.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Shakma

Oh Vic... You made me have to look this one up. Damn...

Shakma:[YT]dL3hX1VtgFw[/YT]

I love how they feel the need to have the narrator convince you about the bona fides of the cast. That and of course, giving the baboon with a perm equal billing to the human cast. That primate had a good agent. "Shakma!!!"