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Funny joke.

War Lord

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Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?"

"SEX!!" he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while.

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.

Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.

Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place.

Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."
 
A woman called a local hospital. "Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected, or getting worse"

The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"

"Sarah Finkel, room 302."

"I'll connect you with the nursing station."

"3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?"

"I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302."

"Just a moment. Let me look at her records... Mrs. Finkel is doing very well.

In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this
improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon."

The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic... that's wonderful news!"

The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!"

"Neither! I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me a thing."
 
I've got my own joke that involves a shotgun, Warlord, and AIDS
 
Joke 1: 6.95 / 10
Joke 2: 3.12 / 10
 
War Lord said:
The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic... that's wonderful news!"

The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!"

"Neither! I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me a thing."

it's funny, but sadly it's true. the only way to get proper attention in a hospital these days, they have 2 know someoen is always coming to visit you.
 
samurai black said:
it's funny, but sadly it's true. the only way to get proper attention in a hospital these days, they have 2 know someoen is always coming to visit you.
It's a useful way of bringing to light the problems of patients in obtaining information regarding their condition, ....but it's a **** joke.
 
Ignore the peanut gallery, War Lord.

I've heard worse jokes.
 
Q: why shouldnt old people have sex?

A:
have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
 
Halcohol said:
Ignore the peanut gallery, War Lord.

I've heard worse jokes.
Almost a 7 for joke 1. That's pretty good.
 
Thanks I feel special.

Haha to the rest of you geeks, I got a gold star nanananana!

























I feel like a loser...:csad:
 
Mr 7000+ said:
I feel like a loser...:csad:
Don't.

Gold stars are very rare here.
 
Why did the chicken cross the road?

















I don't know..I was asking the question. :cmad:
 

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