Mr. Webs' Joke Thread....Returns!

[Mr.Webs]

Fan fic? It consisted of something...crude?
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Tell me what to do and I'll tell you where to go.

 

[Elisha Cuthbert]

Fan fic? It consisted of something...crude?
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Tell me what to do and I'll tell you where to go.

to put it mildly, yes. I was a little bit messed up that day...week..month..year.

 

[Mr.Webs]

Ah. Understood.
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Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger and heavier.

 

[Mr.Webs]

I had an "hour glass" figure, but unfortunately the sand shifted.

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

The ozone layer or cheese in a spray can...don't make me choose.

 

[Mr.Webs]

When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy.

When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

 

[Mr.Webs]

I can go for more than seven days without sleep...so it's a good thing I sleep nights.

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

 

[Mr.Webs]

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

 

[Mr.Webs]

Anything that is not nailed down, is mine. Anything that I can pry loose - is not nailed down!

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I have never been able to make out the numbers.

 

[Topdawg]

nice jokes.

 

[Mr.Webs]

Thank you.
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Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

 

[SuGarRush]

If a tree falls on a mime in a forest, and there is no one there to hear it, does the mime make a noise?

 

[comicgirl]

It's very nice to see you again, too. How've you been?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

of course! good to see you. my friend

 

[Mr.Webs]

So, what've you been up to lately?
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A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

 

[redmarvel]

I had an "hour glass" figure, but unfortunately the sand shifted.

That's a good one. and Welcome Back to the Community!!!

 

[Mr.Webs]

You too! I haven't sen you around in a long while.
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Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them use to reality.

 

[redmarvel]

You too! I haven't sen you around in a long while.
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Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them use to reality.

I've been busy with my little Jabberwock and his dad... teaching them both Fairy Tales and Nursery Rhymes.

I've also become addicted to Youtube and will try to post a new one in http://www.superherohype.com/forums/showthread.php?t=240342 every day.

 

[Mr.Webs]

That's cool. Well, I'm happy that you're enjoying the thread so far...that's what it's here for!
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I don't use Listerine. They say it kills germs on contact and I don't like the idea of things dying in my mouth.

 

[Mr.Webs]

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

 

[Mr.Webs]

Like I told you before, I never repeat what I say.

 

[Mr.Webs]

http://www.superherohype.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9815145&postcount=1

 

[Mr.Webs]

For Sale:

Parachute
Used once, Never opened, Slightly stained.

 

[Mr.Webs]

True Story:

"Scrawling his way into immortality in the concrete in front of Mann's Chinese Theater in Hollywood, Burt Reynolds misspelled his own name." - Hollywood Confidential

 

[Mr.Webs]

Helen Waite is our credit manager.
If you want credit, go to Helen Waite.

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

 

[Mr.Webs]

Take me DRUNK, I'm HOME.

 

[Mr.Webs]

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time really piss me off. I know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?