Happily married mother of two caught in Ashley Madison hacking scandal shares her story
THE witch-hunt needs to stop.
This is the message of a happily married mother of two caught in the middle of the Ashley Madison hacking scandal.
Wanting to be known only as Octavia, the 40-year-old Sydney resident has been periodically using Ashley Madison and other dating websites since 2012.
What makes this unique is that her husband, Jack, has not only known about her actions all along, but he has even encouraged her.
This is why she is so disappointed with the public outcry following the release of the stolen data.
The hostility and the inability to appreciate different relationships concern me, she told news.com.au.
There are all sorts of relationships out there and there are many reasons why people join those sites.
Octavia said when she first joined the website it had nothing to with sex; it was more about the feeling she got when flirting with someone new.
I went looking for a way to have male conversation without putting my personal or work life at risk, she said.
Jack is perfectly aware of it all and we always talked about limits we quickly worked out that mine are much stricter than his.
Despite having her husbands full support, Octavia admits if he ever asked her to stop, she would have no hesitations.
Jack knew about the emotional journey I went on and it fuelled many a conversation between us, she said.
We enjoyed the process and were fascinated by the way you could get these teenage-type emotions.
There did not seem to be any harm and at not one point would I say our relationship was at risk.
If anything, our sex life has been enhanced by the journey. I feel sexy. I have sex with him. Simple.
After using the website primarily for conversation, Octavia finally felt the desire to meet someone and at the end of 2012 she had her first sexual encounter from Ashley Madison.
At that point it was all about novelty and I wasnt entirely sure I would go through with it, she said.
My husband dropped me off at his hotel and we met for dinner and had a nice evening with a couple of casual drinks.
I decided I wanted to find out what having sex outside of marriage would be like and I wasnt sure Id ever do it again, so even though the attraction on my part wasnt high, I decided to go through with it.
Octavia said even though she slept with the gentleman, she doesnt like to be unfairly labelled as an unfaithful wife.
Yes, I have had sex outside of my marriage, she said.
But, there is no deceit in regards to my marriage, so it is clearly not cheating by definition of the word itself.
When news of the hack first emerged, Octavia showed little concern and even when the data was leaked online she remained unfazed.
Obviously because my husband knows, there is no risk there, she said.
We have also said that if people close to us ask outright, we would tell them.
What we do has no impact on anyone in our personal lives other than us, if people care what we do in the bedroom then there is something else wrong here.
While Octavia fears her story will make her susceptible to hateful comments, she feels it is a tale that needs to be told in order to prove not everyone using Ashley Madison was a deceitful cheater with no morals.
