Hygiene Much?

[The Original Bamfer]

I don't own bath beads, I swear. I have a very small remainder of some bath salts, however. I love things to put in bubble baths, but I need to re-stock Baths are entirely different than showers, though. Purely to relax, not to get clean or actually accomplish anything practical.

I'm incredibly conflicted when it comes to baths. The relaxation and comfort of them can be nice on occasion, but when I'm finished I feel as though I'm drenched in the dirt that's just been floating in the water. So, I force myself to take a shower after. Needless to say, I rarely take baths.

 

[AndThePickles]

I rarely take them as well, but I too either shower right afterwards, or take them right before bed and shower in the morning.

 

[Immortalfire]

How to Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 500 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs
12. Turn off shower
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower, dry with towel the size of a small country.
15. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
16. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake privates at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face
6. Wash your armpits
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee in shower.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Flex in mirror.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake privates at her and make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed, dress in 2 seconds.

 

[knowsbleed]

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

See, this is what I'm talking about. Ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash... I don't know if that's a food or a bath product but I'm sure it takes an exorbitant amount of time and effort... which should be better put to use by making me happy.

 

[chaseter]

How to Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 500 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs
12. Turn off shower
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower, dry with towel the size of a small country.
15. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
16. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake privates at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face
6. Wash your armpits
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee in shower.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Flex in mirror.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake privates at her and make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed, dress in 2 seconds.

Way to post that the page after I posted it

 

[The Original Bamfer]

Way to post that the page after I posted it

Stop trying to take credit for 'Fire's greatness.

 

[Avangarde]

Try taking a shower while off your chops, recommended

 

[DBella]

45 minutes? Wow... my heart aches when I think of the gallons of water she's wasting.
*as if my 20-30 minutes is any better. hypocrite, I am*

As for myself, I take about 20 minutes. I like to take my time when I'm in the shower. I sing and pretend that I'm really good at it. Sometimes I just like to stand under the hot shower because it feels good and it relaxes me. I think the longest I've been in the shower is about half hour because I've more things to do than just shampoo, rinse, condition, rinse, lather myself all over with liquid body wash, using a sponge, rinse. I take a pretty long time rinsing.

 

[UA-Archangel]

Anybody who doesn't know why women can take so long to shower has never walked down the beauty isle in the supermarket.

Half a country's GDP is down that aisle.

 

[Eggyman]

I'm incredibly conflicted when it comes to baths. The relaxation and comfort of them can be nice on occasion, but when I'm finished I feel as though I'm drenched in the dirt that's just been floating in the water. So, I force myself to take a shower after. Needless to say, I rarely take baths.

Same. And the worst thing is, that I get so relaxed I can't be bothered standing up long enough to take a shower. My ex once had me a bath ready for when I came home from work (awww

), and it had bubbles in it, and when I sat down, there was salt or something gritty on the bottom of the bath. I think she had laced the bath with crack or something, because after 5 minutes of being sat in it I could hardly move. Every muscle in my body passed out as I lay in the toxic fumes feeling like I'd had a class A OD.

Baths are dangerous. I had them when I was younger, but I've calmed down a lot now I'm in my late twenties.

 

[knowsbleed]

45 minutes? Wow... my heart aches when I think of the gallons of water she's wasting.
*as if my 20-30 minutes is any better. hypocrite, I am*

As for myself, I take about 20 minutes. I like to take my time when I'm in the shower. I sing and pretend that I'm really good at it. Sometimes I just like to stand under the hot shower because it feels good and it relaxes me. I think the longest I've been in the shower is about half hour because I've more things to do than just shampoo, rinse, condition, rinse, lather myself all over with liquid body wash, using a sponge, rinse. I take a pretty long time rinsing.

[subliminalmessage]please 'get' the true message behind this thread which is 'I want women to talk about naughty things they do in the shower/bath' oh please, please[/endofsubliminalmessage]

 

[Ace of Knaves]

I'm only in the shower for like 5-10mins. Anything more than that isn't needed really, unless you've got long hair or summin.

Has anyone smoked a dooby in the bath? Ultimate relaxation!

 

[Immortalfire]

I sing and pretend that I'm really good at it.

LoL t:

 

[SuBe]

Someone asked about the Multihead showers. We have one, I recommend it if you often take Joint Showers, but if not don't. You get half pressure in each. But, if you do take the Joint Showers, it solves the Hot/Cold Ratio Problem.

 

[knowsbleed]

The hot/cold ratio problem is a serious one that I refuse to budge on. I hate, hate, HATE, HATE being out of the hot water stream... shivering awaiting my turn. **** all that noise. *shoves woman aside* aaahhhhhhh...

 

[Hotwire]

To quote the late comedian Richard Jeni....
"90% of all men *********e, proven fact. The other 10%, no arms. 30% of all women *********e. The rest want you to believe it take that long to take a bath!"

 

[SuBe]

The cool thing about the one we have, you can switch off the dual showers have have one going. And, Bed Bath and Beyond had them on sale a couple of weeks ago. We bought 2, one for my bathroom, and one for hers. You never know when you can negotiate a Joint Shower and on who's turf.

 

[Carcharodon]

How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake privates at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face
6. Wash your armpits
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee in shower.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Flex in mirror.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake privates at her and make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed, dress in 2 seconds.

Who the **** put spy cameras in my bedroom and bathroom? How do they know this ****?

 

[jaguarr]

Women take forever in the shower, it mystifies me. I've tried to find out for myself, but usually whomever I'm with usually kicks me out of the bathroom. C'mon, I just saw you naked and we just got done doing naked things together and now you get shy? Flawed reasoning at it's most feminine.

Hmmm....maybe they've been in there finishing the job you couldn't get done? Just throwing that out there.

jag

 

[Alex The Great]

I never knew you were a woman.


Does the woman you're talking about always take such a long shower, knowsbleed? When I have extra things to do in there, it takes much longer, but that's certainly not every time I shower.

I'm not. I enjoy showering. I feel free and I kinda love the feeling of the warm water on me. It feels good. And after the shower, I just grab clothes I see on the floor

 

[Ace of Knaves]

Hygiene is over-rated anyway. I only shower once a blue moon.

 

[AndThePickles]

I'm not. I enjoy showering. I feel free and I kinda love the feeling of the warm water on me. It feels good. And after the shower, I just grab clothes I see on the floor

I know you're not, I was poking fun at the fact that you were one of the few males to respond with how long you spend in the shower when knowsbleed specifically asked the women

 

[jaguarr]

I know you're not, I was poking fun at the fact that you were one of the few males to respond with how long you spend in the shower when knowsbleed specifically asked the women

It's all in the subtext.

jag

 

[chaseter]

Who the **** put spy cameras in my bedroom and bathroom? How do they know this ****?

He changed his from mine which said weiners and he put privates Weiners is such a funnier word that privates