I believe Fiege has stated that the movies and shows are on completely different schedules and departments, so coordinating is difficult. The movies are kind of big machines with a lot of moving parts while tv is much more nimble. So it's easy for the tv to work around the movies. That being said I think it's likely that DD or someone will be mentioned, but I can also see those scenes or references getting cut.
You also have to remember that DD season 1 premiered not that long before production started on CW. By then the wheels were in motion. I don't see any chance of Punisher in CW, the timing just doesn't work.
As for whether Punisher can work in a kid friendly movie, beyond easter eggs, he's not gonna be in a kid friendly film. each medium of MCU covers a different aspect, the movies are the big public spectacles that makes international news, AoS/AC is the underground, secretive aspects, and Netflix is the dark corners of the world. And those dark corners is where Frank Castle resides.
Now if the Punisher ever did show up in a kid friendly (I would actually describe it as "all audiences") His actions just wouldn't be a brutal as portrayed on say Netflix. MCU has had plenty of violence and killing, it just was never graphic.