Jokes From Germany

Discussion in 'SHH Community Forum' started by IKnowSomeJudo, Mar 12, 2008.

  1. IKnowSomeJudo Registered

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    JOKES FROM GERMANY

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in
    hospital.

    A man walks into a pub.
    He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.


    Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
    She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly
    low self-esteem.

    What do you call a cat with no tail?
    A Manx cat.

    Why do undertakers wear ties?
    Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their
    appearance has a degree of gravitas.

    How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
    One.

    Why do women fake orgasms?
    Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

    Two men are sitting in a pub.
    One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men
    coming in and out of your wife's house.'
    The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her
    drug habit.'

    Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out
    and runs away.
    One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

    Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
    Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell
    pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.
     
  2. The-Dark-Knight Registered

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    Those were awesome. I actually laughed out loud, a rarety on the net.
     
  3. 04nbod I need to debrief you

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    they're funny because they're not funny LOL
     
  4. passerby Registered

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    Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out
    and runs away.
    One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.


    Hahaha:woot:
     
  5. Mee 2 E's are better than 1

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    That part's right.:o:csad:
     
  6. Franklin Richards Registered

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    In Democratic Germany, jokes tell YOU!!!


    :thing: :doom: :thing:
     
  7. Mee 2 E's are better than 1

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  8. bullets bang bang

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    This explains why my ex-girlfriend was such a stoneheart.
     
  9. Joined:
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    When I was in Germany, a saleswoman at some weird set-up shop was laughing about this witch doll she had, and kept trying to say, "witch," to my family in english.
     
  10. chaseter Esteemed Member

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    Zis iz da part on Schprokits vhen vwe dance.
     
  11. Untilteld Registered

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    Hahah. :up:
     
  12. chaseter Esteemed Member

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    I am shocked by the lack of Hitler, german shepherds, and body building jokes.
     
  13. millennium movies Registered

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    But im not german, how am i supposed to understand? :(
     
  14. Addendum Registered

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    [YT]yff5Sp6bN6k[/YT]
     
  15. ferret Registered

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    Seriously. And where's Sauerkraut, and Schnitzel?
     
  16. Darthphere Kneel before 'Drox!

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  17. Drizzle Yesferatu

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    I love sarcasm. :D
     
  18. jaguarr Be Your Own Hero

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    Did Jourmugand write those jokes?

    jag
     
  19. C.F. Kane Registered

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    Well if everyone in the world accuses you of producing the most evil regime in the history of the planet and starting a war that engulfed the entire world and knowing that they're right...

    You'd be a bit downbeat, wouldn't you?
     

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