Sam Fisher
Heavy Meddle
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2004
- Messages
- 14,743
- Reaction score
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- Points
- 31
"Things That Never Happen in Star Trek"
Author Unknown
- The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that it has encountered before.
- The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists who are all perfectly all right.
- The Enterprise comes across a Garden-of-Eden like planet called Paradise, where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly as it seems.
- The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform, wearing a silly hat.
- The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a strange alien plague, for which the cure is found in the well stocked sick bay.
- An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprises computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
- A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.
- A power surge on the Bridge fails to electrocute the user of the computer panel, due to a highly sophisticated 24th century surge protection feature called a "fuse".
- The Enterprise ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.
- The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.
- The Enterprise separates as soon as there is any danger.
- The Enterprise gets involved in an enigmatic, strange, dangerous situation, and there are no pesky aliens they can blame it on in the end.
- The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify with candy.
- The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp phenomenon, which is in no way connected with the 20th or 21st centuries.
- Somebody takes out a shuttle and it doesn't explode or crash.
- A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, and some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.
- The shields of the Enterprise stay up during battle.
- The Enterprise visits the Klingon Home World on a bright, sunny day.
- An attempt at undermining the Klingon-Federation alliance is discovered without anyone noting that such an attempt, if successful, "would represent a fundamental shift in power throughout the quadrant."
- A major character spends the entire episode in the Holodeck without a single malfunction trapping him/her there.
- Picard hears the door chime and doesn't bother to say "Come."
- Picard doesn't answer a suggestion with "Make it so!"
- Counselor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.
- Mood rings come back in style, jeopardizing Counselor Troi's position.
- When Worf tells the bridge officers that something is entering visual range no one says "On screen."
- Worf actually gives another vessel more than 2 seconds to respond to the Enterprise's hails.
- Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.
- The warp engines start acting up a bit, but then seems to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.
- Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode. [or even: Kirk (or Riker) meets an attractive woman and does not fall in love with her.]
- An unknown ensign beams down as part of an away team and lives to tell the tale.
- Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him.
- Kirk's hair remaining consistent for more than 1 consecutive episode.
- Kirk gets into a fistfight and doesn't rip his shirt. (Or even, Kirk doesn't get into a fistfight!)
- Kirk doesn't end up kissing the troubled guest-female before she doesn't sacrifice herself for him.
- Scotty doesn't mention the laws of physics.
- Spock isn't the only crew member not affected by new weapon/attack by alien race due to his "darn green blood" or "bizarre Vulcan physiology" and thus cannot save the day.
- The episode ends without Bones & Kirk laughing at Spock's inability to understand the joke, and he doesn't raise his eyebrow.
- A major character (who’s been in at least 27 episodes) dies in an episode without any honor to back it up.
- An unknown red-shirted officer doesn’t die on an away mission (in the Original Series anyway).
- An episode about the Borg that doesn’t show a cube or the Queen.
- A Borg episode where no one gets or gets close to being assimilated.
Author Unknown
- The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that it has encountered before.
- The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists who are all perfectly all right.
- The Enterprise comes across a Garden-of-Eden like planet called Paradise, where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly as it seems.
- The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform, wearing a silly hat.
- The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a strange alien plague, for which the cure is found in the well stocked sick bay.
- An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprises computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
- A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.
- A power surge on the Bridge fails to electrocute the user of the computer panel, due to a highly sophisticated 24th century surge protection feature called a "fuse".
- The Enterprise ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.
- The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.
- The Enterprise separates as soon as there is any danger.
- The Enterprise gets involved in an enigmatic, strange, dangerous situation, and there are no pesky aliens they can blame it on in the end.
- The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify with candy.
- The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp phenomenon, which is in no way connected with the 20th or 21st centuries.
- Somebody takes out a shuttle and it doesn't explode or crash.
- A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, and some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.
- The shields of the Enterprise stay up during battle.
- The Enterprise visits the Klingon Home World on a bright, sunny day.
- An attempt at undermining the Klingon-Federation alliance is discovered without anyone noting that such an attempt, if successful, "would represent a fundamental shift in power throughout the quadrant."
- A major character spends the entire episode in the Holodeck without a single malfunction trapping him/her there.
- Picard hears the door chime and doesn't bother to say "Come."
- Picard doesn't answer a suggestion with "Make it so!"
- Counselor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.
- Mood rings come back in style, jeopardizing Counselor Troi's position.
- When Worf tells the bridge officers that something is entering visual range no one says "On screen."
- Worf actually gives another vessel more than 2 seconds to respond to the Enterprise's hails.
- Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.
- The warp engines start acting up a bit, but then seems to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.
- Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode. [or even: Kirk (or Riker) meets an attractive woman and does not fall in love with her.]
- An unknown ensign beams down as part of an away team and lives to tell the tale.
- Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him.
- Kirk's hair remaining consistent for more than 1 consecutive episode.
- Kirk gets into a fistfight and doesn't rip his shirt. (Or even, Kirk doesn't get into a fistfight!)
- Kirk doesn't end up kissing the troubled guest-female before she doesn't sacrifice herself for him.
- Scotty doesn't mention the laws of physics.
- Spock isn't the only crew member not affected by new weapon/attack by alien race due to his "darn green blood" or "bizarre Vulcan physiology" and thus cannot save the day.
- The episode ends without Bones & Kirk laughing at Spock's inability to understand the joke, and he doesn't raise his eyebrow.
- A major character (who’s been in at least 27 episodes) dies in an episode without any honor to back it up.
- An unknown red-shirted officer doesn’t die on an away mission (in the Original Series anyway).
- An episode about the Borg that doesn’t show a cube or the Queen.
- A Borg episode where no one gets or gets close to being assimilated.
