Just a Simple Joke

[Hudson]

Good stuff, what's the scientist vs god joke like though.

 

[JewishHobbit]

Yeah, I don't think I've heard it.

 

[sinewave]

That would be funny if they weren't fictional characters.




j/k... or am I?

 

[Danalys]

fictional characters are normally funnier.

 

[Danalys]

Good stuff, what's the scientist vs god joke like though.

the punch line is

Spoiler

god says "well done but first get your own dirt"

 

[JewishHobbit]

That would be funny if they weren't fictional characters.




j/k... or am I?

And now we have the token "oh, something about Jesus. Let's throw a smartalic comment about how I don't believe in it" guy!

 

[JewishHobbit]

the punch line is

Spoiler

god says "well done but first get your own dirt"

Actually, I think I have heard that before. I think my old Sunday School teacher told it to me.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

"JESUS SAVES"

shame

SHAME

 

[Leto Atrides]

Pretty funny. This would work really well as a shaggy dog story though.

 

[Truthteller]

The Pope was coming to visit New York City.

A big ol' stretch limo was sent to the airport to pick him up.

When the limo driver gets there, the Pope says to him, "You know, I always have to ride, just once I would like to be able to enjoy driving a big car like this myself."

The limo driver, not knowing how to deny the Pope turns over the keys, climbs in the back and off they go!

The Pope roars down the highway, weaving in and out of traffic, tires squealing, really enjoying himself. They are going about 80mph when the NY City PD officer pulls them over.

The limo has dark one way glass, so the officer can not see in as he approaches. The driver's side window rolls down and the officer asks the driver for his licence and registration.

"I'm the Pope." Says the driver.

"Of course you are." Says the cop. "Let me see some identification."

The Pope hands over some paperwork and the officer looks at it, then looks back at him real close. Now the officer, with a rather strange look on his face peers at the backseat of the limo and moves his head around trying to see who is back there. Then he says; "I'll be right back" and retreats to his patrol car where he calls into the precinct and gets his sargent on the line.

"Sarge! I've pulled someone speeding out here on the bypass and I think I'm going to need your help."

"What forever for man!" His sarge screams back. Did you pull a council member?

"No sir, its not a council member."

"Well who is it then? Is it the Mayor?"

"No sir, its not the Mayor"

"Who then, the Governor?"

"No, no sir, its not the Governor either."

"Well, who the hell is it then man?!"

The patrol officer's face hangs slack and he says; "Well sir, I'm not exactly sure who it is, but his driver is THE POPE!"

Hello!

 

[Green Lantern]

I've heard that one before. Its great

 

[Ronny Shade]

The Pope was coming to visit New York City.

A big ol' stretch limo was sent to the airport to pick him up.

When the limo driver gets there, the Pope says to him, "You know, I always have to ride, just once I would like to be able to enjoy driving a big car like this myself."

The limo driver, not knowing how to deny the Pope turns over the keys, climbs in the back and off they go!

The Pope roars down the highway, weaving in and out of traffic, tires squealing, really enjoying himself. They are going about 80mph when the NY City PD officer pulls them over.

The limo has dark one way glass, so the officer can not see in as he approaches. The driver's side window rolls down and the officer asks the driver for his licence and registration.

"I'm the Pope." Says the driver.

"Of course you are." Says the cop. "Let me see some identification."

The Pope hands over some paperwork and the officer looks at it, then looks back at him real close. Now the officer, with a rather strange look on his face peers at the backseat of the limo and moves his head around trying to see who is back there. Then he says; "I'll be right back" and retreats to his patrol car where he calls into the precinct and gets his sargent on the line.

"Sarge! I've pulled someone speeding out here on the bypass and I think I'm going to need your help."

"What forever for man!" His sarge screams back. Did you pull a council member?

"No sir, its not a council member."

"Well who is it then? Is it the Mayor?"

"No sir, its not the Mayor"

"Who then, the Governor?"

"No, no sir, its not the Governor either."

"Well, who the hell is it then man?!"

The patrol officer's face hangs slack and he says; "Well sir, I'm not exactly sure who it is, but his driver is THE POPE!"

Hello!

I suppose you think that was terribly clever

 

[Truthteller]

Thats right.

I suspect its about time for a sig change.

 

[sinewave]

And now we have the token "oh, something about Jesus. Let's throw a smartalic comment about how I don't believe in it" guy!

yep. i'm the classiest guy i know.

 

[Gate_Keeper]

Four nuns are standing in line to get into heaven. St. Paul says to the first one, "Have you ever touched a penis before." The nun says "Yeah, with my finger." St. Paul says, "Dip your finger in the holy water before you enter."
The second one says, "With my hand." And she has to dip her whole hand in.
The third one's about to answer, but the fourth one pushes her out of the way and shouts, "IF YOU THINK IM GOING TO GARGLE THAT WATER AFTER SHE'S STUCK HER ASS IN IT, YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!"

LOL ROFLMAO

 

[Spidey Rules 2]

A Catholic, a Muslim, a Jew and a Satan Worshipper are traveling on a plane when the pilot realizes that they are going to crash. He takes the last parachute and tells the other four, "I'm really sorry about this and he jumps out of the plane". The remaining four passengers look outside and see the pilot going down slowly with his parachute.

Immediately all four people begin praying to the perspective god. The Jew says, "Oh great Lord, save me from this terrible predictament." He then jumps out of the plane and SPLAT, he dies instant upon hitting the ground.

The other three looking on quickly look at each other and continue praying even harder. The Catholic, finishing his "Our Father" asks God to save him from death. He then jumps out of the plane and SPLAT, he also dies instantly.

The Muslim and Satanist look nervously at each other and again, begin praying very hard to their god. The Muslim just finishing a prayer to Allah and asking for help, jumps out of the plane and SPLAT, also dies.

The Satanist, prays one last time and jumps out of the plane. While falling he sees a large number of dark clouds moving around him and then a giant hand forms out of these clouds and he gently lands on this hand. Releived to be alive, he replies, "Thank God". The hand then turns over and he continues to fall.