I didn't know if it was love, or just a pure infatuation with my first gf. I was with her, not once, not twice...but three times.
Began two years ago, she met me. We went out immediately, things were lovely. Then a few arguments arose, and she decided it wasn't going to work out. A few months later, and a few girlfriends later...I feeling rather lonely, as I played my Metroid. Received contact from her, asking if we could meet up. We did actually stay friends after we broke up, for the first time. Due to my stupid emotions, I couldn't handle just being friends. So she thought, it was best to definately depart.
So anyway, she contacts me many, many months afterwards. I did see often around college, and it didn't really bother me. Met her next few days, and we're back together. This time, it's worse. I return from a friend's house one morning, to find out she's been hiding drugs from me. For the past week or two. She had just took a whole load, the night before. She hid them, due to knowing I'd be against them. Lovely, huh? Well, she couldn't comprehend with how I was acting...I didn't go mental, just told her how much that hurt me. So, this 2nd time lasted around 4-5 months. After a while, I couldn't really talk to her. She was acting way too immature, and I couldn't stand it. So, I ended it off.
For the whole next year, she was all I thought about. Regardless of my girlfriend, I had for that year. I'd bump into her, in town...and just freeze up. She would actually send me mental, I had a hard time. It took counselling to get over her :/ Well, this whole year after...she wishes me a happy birthday. So, yet again...we meet up. She had counselling, too. We get back together, and it's rather like Romeo and Juliet. Absolutely no one wanted us together, her family hadn't a clue...and my parents, didn't even wanna see her. She was now smoking, which was odd. I literally can't stand smokers, but put up with her. One night at a mates, she reveals to all my friends about her drunken antics. Let's just say, extremely rude stuff happened...and there was pictures. Not much gets me, I like my women like that...but, not like this. She then had, roughly two deaths in the family, and disappeared from all contact...for 3 weeks. It's hard trying to be there for someone, when they won't let you.
I had a long hard think about it all, and decided it was best we broke up. Whilst she was in the mourning phase. Hardest thing I've ever had to do. I still think about her now :/
I have now attempted to move on, and found a lovely woman. We hit it off, and I can see myself enjoying a future with her
So yeah, all in all...love does rather suck.
My apologies for having an emo cry. har har.
