Moments of Absent-mindedness

[Boom]

I cannot tell you the number of times I've done something without thinking about it, only to have it come back and bite me in the ass - sometimes in the most comedic ways. If you're as absent-minded as I am, share some of your best stories. The ones that make you sit back and say, "Wow. I am an idiot ."

Before I went to bed last night, I ate a piece of dark chocolate and then went to use the bathroom (number 1, mind you). Being the overgrown child that I am, I spit in the toilet to see my chocolatey saliva. It was disgustingly thick and sinewy, if you would like to know. In a moment of absent-mindedness, I neglected to flush the toilet. I washed my hands, and went to bed.

This morning, I went to use the bathroom again. Without looking in the bowl, I proceeded to go about my business - trying to remember the awesome flying dream that I had. After I had finished, I looked down to flush the toilet, only to see my chocolatey saliva from the night before.

Only I didn't know that at the time.

The only logical conclusion I could make in that moment was that I had urinated this thing, and I promptly began to freak out. I raced to the computer and began searching things like "brown matter in pee." My heart pounded in fear of what I could only assume was the beginning stages of total kidney failure.

This episode lasted the better part of ten minutes before my girlfriend came downstairs to ask if I had eaten the rest of her chocolate. Cue memory recovery.

I am an idiot, and my girlfriend agrees .

 

[Mace Dolex]

I left my wallet on the roof of my car once and started to drive about 5 minutes in I remember I lost it rushing back to where I parked thinking I would find it.

 

[darkseid26]

For it isn't that my mind is absent at times but that I'm thinking too much.

It happens most when I'm writing. I'm writing it all in my head when I'm typing so when I go back to reread for errors I find I'm missing a couple of words or whatever.

 

[Yurka]

I routinely carry some object with me, and place it in an area it should not go. (Milk carton in cabinet, cell phone in freezer, shoes in hamper, dry cat-food in fridge, to name a few)

 

[Guhndoi]

Well I was thinking about it but did it anyway. When I was about 14, I was holding a metal pin for some reason and was walking past an extension cord and thought, hmmm I wonder if it is on. Now I was well aware of how metal conducts electricity but I thought, why would the switch be turned on and nothing plugged into the extension? To check if it was on I put the pin into the socket, instead of walking a couple of meters to see if the switch was on. Well it was on and I was shocked. Felt liked getting kick hard in the back and my muscles in my arms and legs felt weak. I remember thinking why did I do that?

 

[bullets]

When I get home late at night from work I have a bad habit of leaving my keys in the ignition. I'll wake up in the morning and spend ten minutes looking for them before I remember.

Every once in awhile I'll wake up on my day off thinking I overslept and that I'm late for work.

 

[Immortalfire]

Every once in awhile I'll wake up on my day off thinking I overslept and that I'm late for work.

I've done that before..talk about panic in the heart.

 

[Kane52630]

I remember one moment where

 

[Boom]

I routinely carry some object with me, and place it in an area it should not go. (Milk carton in cabinet, cell phone in freezer, shoes in hamper, dry cat-food in fridge, to name a few)

When I was quitting smoking last year, I went to buy Nicorette Gum. For those of you familiar with Nicorette, there are two types. There's one that has 2mg of nicotine (if you smoke less than 20 cigarettes a day), and one that has 4mg of nicotine (if you smoke more than 20 cigarettes a day). Bear in mind that I'm learning this all in hindsight.

Anyway, I went to Walgreens to buy a pack of Nicorette Gum. I wasn't really paying attention when the cashier asked me which type I wanted, so I casually pointed at the 4mg one - not really thinking much about it, and I neglected to read the box.

The most I've ever smoked in a day was ten cigarettes. So when I got home and popped a piece of Nicorette in my mouth... well, needless to say it was a horrible experience. I was buzzing hardcore. Tingles, light-headedness, and a growing sense of nausea. You would have thought I had a stroke, the way I was sitting there wide-eyed and staring off into space.

Because I had chewed a piece, I couldn't exchange the pack for the 2mg kind. So instead of throwing it out and wasting $100, I had to eat half a piece at a time - which was both annoying and rather unhelpful (half a piece of Nicorette gum is remarkably small).

 

[Orb]

I routinely carry some object with me, and place it in an area it should not go. (Milk carton in cabinet, cell phone in freezer, shoes in hamper, dry cat-food in fridge, to name a few)

That is the same case with me. One time I was putting my bag and my coat away but I switched the places with me putting my coat by the side of the bed and attempting to put my bag at in my coat hanger.

 

[Boom]

One time I drank from by brother's bottle of dip spit .