Sequels The Official "How YOU would do Spider-Man 4" thread

[ThatDamnNinja]

Here is my first spinoff, VENOM

Villians: Carnage, Toxin
Plot: 4 years. It's been 4 years since Eddie Brock "died" in New York City. But in the shadows of the Bronx, the symbiote is regenerating the body of Brock. But when Eddie is finally alive again, the symbiote gives "birth" to two new symbiotes. And these new creatures find homes on serial killer Cletus Kasady and the officer who was going to apprehend him, Patrick Mulligan. Now Venom must fight these new menaces-Carnage and Toxin-to save his true love, Gwen Stacy. But can Venom survive an encounter with these stronger beings?
Major Plot Points:
The symbiote regenerates the body of Eddie Brock, and the two become Venom once more
The symbiote gives birth to two new symbiotes
The new symbiotes manifest Cletus Kasady and NYPD's Patrick Mulligan, and they become Carnage and Toxin
Brock begins to secretly meet Gwen Stacy, who convinces Eddie to leave New York after he defeats Toxin and Carnage
Gwen begins to finally like Brock, but he denies her love, saying he cannot spread his "disease" to anymore people
Final Battle: Venom vs Toxin and Carnage/Venom vs Toxin/Venom vs Carnage
Carnage and Toxin are holding Gwen hostage, which makes Venom attempt one final attack on his two counterparts. Venom is easily smashed around by the two beings, until he remembers the symbiotes are weakened by fire (because of the explosion in Spidey 3). Venom is able to use a hobo's fire to set Carnage ablaze. With Carnage out of the picture, Venom is able to defeat Toxin by ripping him in half. Venom then absorbs the Toxin symbiote and is ready to take on Carnage in a battle to the death. In the end, Venom seperates Kasady from the symbiote, and spares his life, pitying his weakness. Venom burns the Carnage symbiote later on, and Kasady is put in jail. Brock decides to venture off throughout the US, calling himself the "Lethal Protector".

Sorry if its a little long, but please leave feedback!

I do NOT dig Gwen Stacy as the love interest of Venom... and Toxin isn't a villain. Try and keep it closer to the comics.

 

[ScarletVenom25]

I know Toxin isnt a villian, I know Gwen Stacy isn't too good of a love interest. I'm gonna definately reconsider editing the story a little, get a different love intrest, and editing out Toxin, or at least changing Toxin's story a little bit. Thnx for the feedback, I was wondering how people would react to my story.

 

[Spider-Girl™]

This seems like it would belong in the Fan section... but more or less I would bring Brock's love interest from the comics, Ann or whatever her name is. Second I wouldn't have Toxin as a bad guy(I don't think he is, is he?). And I think a good origin for Carnage would be that when Eddie and the symbiote are pulling themselves together that a droplet stays behind, it somehow feeds on blood, be it human or animal, turns red and thus has a thirst for blood. I'd also think Spidey should stop in for a battle or 2.

Oh and 4 yrs for it to pull itself together, It seems more plausible that it would be 4 hrs or 4 days.

 

[ScarletVenom25]

Well, I think it would take 4 hrs if he had gotten some injuries, but he was KILLED. His body was blown to bits, and the symbiote needs to use its memory of Eddie Brocks features, medical conditions, etc., to reconstruct him. Even if the symbiote was highly advanced, it would still take quite some time.

 

[Spider-Girl™]

not 4 years... it's not like Eddie was blown across New York.

 

[DACrowe]

How I would not do Spidey spin offs:

preetty much the same thing.

Oh well.

 

[Spider-Kid]

There really good aren't they web-head?

 

[spideyman101]

Don't get me wrong people... I love the script.

But with 5 villains? nah...

the script's pretty good for a beginning script... but really that's what it is...

I know you've not been making scripts for long and you are new to it, and I congradulate you because compared to other ameuter scripts, this is pretty good.

 

[daveswb]

Ok, as we all know there has been a central theme through all the movies thus far. And that should be no acceptation to the 4th.

The 3rd set this theme up perfectly, TRUST. In 3 we saw Peter still didn't fully trust, himself, or MJ. He never fully revealed the situation between him and Harry. He's never trusted Aunt May with his secret either.

What 2 villains can greatly reflect this theme? The Lizard and Venom.

The Lizard because Dr. Connors is someone that Peter already trusts. Again shown in 3 by bringing him the symbiote to check out. Now he'll have to fight someone he trusts.

Venom, as any Venom fan will tell you he has always waked a thin line between good an evil. And Peter has had to work with him in the comics before.

The bulk of my idea is that 4 should again pick up right were 3 left off. In fact the movie should begin with the same fight scene with venom, but this time the camera is on the opposite side and it shows how Venom some how survived the explosion.

Then V goes off to lick his wounds and plan his revenge on Parker. Also thinking trusting Sandman was a mistake. Then we can have some classic scenes like from the MacFarlane run in ASM where Brock comes to the house and talks to Aunt May. So on and so forth. ½ way through the movie Venom is put in a situation where he has to save someone and he realizes that doing good is a good thing, So then later Spidey if fighting the lizard and he has to trust venom to help him.

Connors should be shown experimenting with the lizards and possibly that sample of the symbiote. I know some fans don’t like the trying in of villain origins, but it’s a good way to explain what peeked his interest in finding a way to grow back his arm. They can talk about the symbioute regenerative properties. IE also another way to explain Brock surviving.

Peter/MJ they can do a lot with developing the trust level in their relation ship. Have a scene where peter is finally explaining everything about Harry and Norman and Have MJ be like, why did you never trust me with this before?

I think Peter should also finally confide in Aunt May that he is Spider-Man.

I also think Trust is a great theme to introduce the black cat with, can peter trust a thief? Can MJ trust peter working with a girl?

If you keep thinking along these lines the movie basically writes itself.

 

[Venom 1988]

I dont like this Trust, it seems really bland. And thing that annoys me is that everytime someone is writing a SM4 story, they always want to bring back Venom. His purpose was served in SM3. The End

Venom, as any Venom fan will tell you he has always waked a thin line between good an evil. And Peter has had to work with him in the comics before.

And that when he started to suck in the comics.

 

[HR-PUFF&STUFF]

can a mod please put this with the other "my spider-man 4" movie threads?

 

[fletch1076]

The story has to be based on the Lizzard and Kraven. Kraven comes to New York to hunt the Lizzard that has been terriorizing the city. He comes to town with his show ready to make a documentary film of the hunt and capture. When he first arrives he is met by the local media becasue he is a celbrity. Peter must act as his tour guide for the Bugle. At first not thinking he is a big problem but then realizing that he has taken serium to make him more of a preditor then he first thought.

Peter must now protect the city from the Lizzard, and the Lizzard from Kraven, all the while trying to find a cure for Doc Conners. This will show Peter as no longer a studnet but now a brillant science mind. During the final battle, Kraven realizes that spiderman is peter becasue they have the same scent, and he turns his focus on destroying parker. Meanwhile the Lizzard is pure animal and only attacts when hungry or threatened, which he will feel in the final battle. Peter is able to defeat Kraven, and uses one of his wepons to trap the Lizzard long enough to treat him. Conners returns to his normal self and swears off trying to find a cure for his arm. But who knows

 

[Venom 1988]

Thats more or less the same idea that everyone is coming up with.

 

[FaT_tONle]

Really original stuff dude....

 

[Web-Head408]

sounds good.

 

[HughJackFan420]

Don't get me wrong people... I love the script.

But with 5 villains? nah...

the script's pretty good for a beginning script... but really that's what it is...

I know you've not been making scripts for long and you are new to it, and I congradulate you because compared to other ameuter scripts, this is pretty good.

thanks guys for the comments. just wanna let those who can't wait till the end know without giving too much away i'm writing this script as if they are truly going forwared with 6 Spiderman movies. Kingpin will not be any kind of villain in this movie but i'm setting him up for the future sequels. the villains i'm focusing on here is Lizard, Carnage and Venom.

 

[Web-Head408]

There really good aren't they web-head?

yes they are.

 

[Web-Head408]

double post.

 

[HughJackFan420]

(Meanwhile at the Daily Bugle. J. Jonah Jameson is going crazy.)

J. Jonah: Where the hell is that Parker!!!??? I just got a tip that there are monsters at the precinct and I have no photographer.

Betty: Sir your blood pressure.

J. Jonah: I don't give a damn about that right now.

Betty: Besides you told Peter he can have a break around the times of his finals and graduation. You work him too hard you know that.

J. Jonah: Well he wanted the job... he got it. Who’s idea was it to give him that time off?

Robbie: Your’s Jonah.

J. Jonah: It was?? Hmm. Well where ever he is he's fired.

Robbie: You're not serious??

J. Jonah: No. Of course not but in a heartbeat I would replace that unreliable kid with that Eugene Bradley or Brocoli you know who I'm talking about!!! That imposter of a photographer. At least he seemed more of a butt kisser then Parker. I like that. Brown nosers are more reliable.

Hoffman: Really sir??

J. Jonah: Get out of here Hoffman...wait a minute Hoffman your a butt kisser right??

Hoffman: Well...um...I...

J. Jonah: Shut up and have a seat. I'm gonna do something I might regret. Betty give this man a camera. Hoffman I know your not a photographer but I need you out there taking pictures of anything dangerous. Monsters, Spiderman it's chaos out there and I want you to give me really good shots. Can you handle it??

Hoffman: Well I guess I could...I mean I...

J. Jonah: Great now get out of here!!! Robbie tomorrow's headline... New York's New Danger Monsters Multiplying for Mayhem.

Robbie: Got it sir.

Betty: I'll go get you that camera sir.

J. Jonah: Great. Spiderman should be showing his face in this madness anytime now.

(Meanwhile TV reporters from all over the city as well as police cars, fire trucks, ambulances are in front of the presinct where Carnage and Venom are going at it. their battle takes place in the main lobby with cops surrounding them and other regular staff running out the building screaming. Hoffman is there trying to take pictures scared as hell slowly making his way in the building.)

Hoffman: Oh my God what are those dreadful things?? How does Peter do this kind of stuff??

(Trembling Hoffman tries to take pictures.)

Cops in the background: Cop 1: Where do these freaks come from??

Cop 2: I don't know but that black thing looks like the monster that was trying to kill Spiderman with the help of that sand thing a while back. We need to get in cotact with Stacy. We're gonna need lots of back up.

Cop 1: Holy crap!!! But what's that red thing??

Cop 2: Nevermind that just get in contact with Stacy now!!!

(cop 1 goes for his walkie talkie. )

Cop 1: Capt Stacy the presinct is under attack by two monsters. We need back up I repeat we're gonna need lots of back up!!!.

(Elsewhere Capt Stacy is with a group of cops monitoring Spidey's moves as he closes in on Lizard. Capt Stacy hear's the distress call and answers it.)

Capt Stacy: Capt Stacy here you're saying there's two monsters in the presinct???

Cop 1: Yes sir. And it looks like one of them is the black monster we thought died at the construction site where Spidey took him out. Then there's a red monster who's just as dangerous. We need help!!!

Capt Stacy: We're on our way. Alright team you heard the call. Let's get our butts down there and see what's going on. More monsters...I feel like I'm living in a B horror movie.

(Meanwhile back at the presinct Venom and Carnage are battling with cops surrounding them with guns drawn. Hoffman is ducking for cover still taking horrible pictures.)

Hoffman: I don't even know what I'm doing here. I don't want to die like this.

Venom: Spiderman is ours Cassidy!!! I'll kill you before you can get to him.

(Venom throws a desk at Carnage Hoffman dodges it and Carnage rips through it with his blades for arms.)

Hoffman: Screw this I’m taking a few more shots then I’m outta here.

Carnage: Hahahahaha...you really think you can stop me??? How can you kill me or Spiderman when you don't posses the killer instinct that I have?? Your nothing but a worthless weak freak of nature.

(Carnage lunges at Venom stabbing right through his abdomen and starts twisting the blades in him.)

Carnage: See you don't have what it takes...you're pathetic...you're weak.

Venom: Arrrgghhh...damn you Cassidy!!!

Cop 1: Cassidy??? What the??? That thing is Cletus Cassidy??

Cop 2: Sounds like him too. We're in trouble.

Cop 1: Alright Cassidy give it up or we'll open fire!!!

(Carnage rips his blades out of Venom and Venom falls to the ground.)

Carnage: Really?? Take your best shot pigs but your not killing this killer. Raaaahhhh.

(Carnage flies towards them while they shoot back but the bullets don't do anything but hit him and the symbiote just reacts to the impact with exploding little splatters. He takes a big swing at one cop sending him flying. Carnage throws his symbiote like webbing at some other cop pulling him in and then stabbing his gut with his blade and drops him. Carnage starts taking out cop after cop. While bodies are flying Hoffman is getting knocked around by them and his camera goes off while he’s struggling to rush out the precinct. Venom is hurting badly his tendrils start lashing out like crazy starting to attach to the heads of anyone around who is alive and starts feeding off their energy to recover. One of the tendrils almost grabs Hoffman.)

Hoffman: Aaaaaaahhhh…Let me out of here!!!

(Hoffman disappears out of sight.)

Venom: Just need to feed a little longer. Feeling stronger. Alright Cassidy your finished.

(Carnage stops his massacre when he notices Venom getting up)

Carnage: You just can't take a clue can you?? You don't wanna stay down fine I'll just bury you where you stand.

(Carnage lunges at Venom but this time Venom grabs him by the blades and slams him down to the ground picks him up and slams him harder again to knock him a little unconsious and throws him in the air. While in mid air Venom shoots his webbing up at him and swings him down to the ground so hard he goes through the floor and into the water systems below.)

Venom: Correction I'll bury you where you stand. Hahahaha...now to find Parker's girlfriend.

(the remaining cops try to shoot Venom as he flees the scene swinging out of sight out of the presinct.)

 

[TheCaretaker]

loving the script keep it up, haven't read a better spidey 4 script yet.

 

[HughJackFan420]

(Meanwhile back in the sewers Spiderman's Spidey Sense is tingling...)

Spiderman: I can sense him near by. But I can't see him...Dr. Connors....Hellooo...um...Big Giant Lizard thing....anyone here???

Lizard: Rooooaaaarrrr!!!!

(Lizard lunges at Spiderman and they begin to wrestle.)

Spiderman: Dr. Connors wait!!! Stop!!!

Lizard: Spiderman?? What do you want with me and how do you know who I am?? Leave me alone or I'll tear you to shreds.

Spiderman: I'm afraid I can't do that. I need to ask you some questions.

Lizard: Have it your way.

(Lizard throws Spiderman in the air and snaps at him with his snout but misses him as Spidey swings away and clings on to the cieling.)

Spiderman: Dr. Connors I saw the camera recording you left behind. I want to help you.

Lizard: Why do you want to help me?? Leave me alone I'm warning you.

Spiderman: If we can get you topside without knowing noticing I'm sure I can find someone to hel....

Lizard: I'm not going anywhere with you. Raaahhhh...

(Lizard jumps and pulls Spiderman off the cieling and begins clawing at him and trying to bite him. Spiderman webs his snout closed.)

Spiderman: Maybe that will shut you up. I'm just trying to help. I know who you are because...um...

(as Spiderman keeps talking to him Lizard attacks him some more. He punches Spidey and sends him flying into a wall. Spiderman swing kicks Lizard and sends him flying to a wall.)

Spiderman: Fine you don't want to come peacefully we'll do it the hardway.

(Lizard tears off the webbing from his snout and goes at Spidey again. Spidey tries to web him up but Lizard rips through his webbing barely slowing him down and they begin exchanging punches and different attacks. Slamming, wrestling all over the place until they end up in the part of the sewer where the water is deeper. Lizard uppercuts Spidey and Spidey goes underwater a little. Spidey comes to his senses and quickly stands up and the water is about shoulder high. Lizard has disappeared in the water.)

Spiderman: Dr. Connors please let me help you. I'm only a friend. Dr. Connors??? Where are you???

(Lizard flies out of the water and attacks Spidey from behind. Spidey Senses go off and Spidey quickly turns around and grabs him with webbing to fling him across the area. In the process Lizard gets close to Spidey trying to make an effort of attacking as he's being swung across and tears off Spidey's mask. Lizard ends up hitting the wall pretty hard and slowly starts getting up with a big piece of Spidey's mask in his claws. Spidey reaches for his face.)

Spiderman: Oh no...

(Lizard looks at Spidey.)

Lizard: Peter...is that you??? You're Spiderman??

Spiderman: Yes Dr. Connors. I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier. I wasn't trying to reveal who I ....

Lizard: It's ok I understand. I thought you were trying to capture me. It seems like the whole city is after me.

Spiderman: Yes and I can help you. If you let me. What happened to you though??

Lizard: It's been my life's work to come up with a new medical break through. A way to quickly rejuvenate any part of the body one has suffered from as far as severing or in my case a freak accident. No more will people have to worry about mechanical arms or prosthetics to replace missing limbs. Yet my little experiment has a big flaw in it obviously. So before the serum can be used for human testing again I need to do more tests on it.

Spiderman: I'm sure it was a slight mis-calculation.

Lizard: So what do we do??

Spiderman: Well I hate to break it to you doc but the whole city is on a liz...ahem I mean man hunt for you. Let's get you to a safer place down here...um well I don't know what is considered safe down here but let's get you somewhere so you can standby for my signal when the coast is clear.

Lizard: I know a spot follow me.

(Meanwhile somewhere in the sewer Carnage is recovering and starts getting back up.)

Carnage:Venom...well you just brewed up a new poison...Carnage!!! And your life is mine...I'm gonna make you pa...wait a minute. I can feel someone close by...what's happening to me...I can almost hear the voice of...SPIDERMAN!!! I sense him near by...hahahaha. Ok Venom I'll spare you for now...I have bigger fish to fry...

(Carnage swings away goes after Spiderman in the sewers. Meanwhile at the state penetentiary Felicia's dad grows more worried by the hour in his cell. He's looking out his cell barred up window.)

Walter: Oh Felecia where are you???

(Black Cat is running along the rooftops of the state pen in stealth mode and locates her father's cell on the outside. She has a big bag strapped to her back. She rappels down to her father's cell window and knocks on it.)

Walter: What the??? Who are you??

(Black Cat takes off her mask to reveal who she is. Her father sees her through his cell thick glassed window)

Walter: Felecia?? Is that you??

(Black Cat nods yes and signals him to stand back and take cover. Black Cat then plants the bomb on the wall and rappels all the way to the ground. She pushes a button on a remote and the thick penetentiary walls blows all over the place. Other criminals start hopping out and running for freedom. Walter peeks his head over and waits for his daughter. Black Cat throws a rope and hook towards the roof and begins to climb the rope to go help her father. She reaches him and starts to help him down.)

Walter: My dear Felecia.

Felecia: Hi dad it's so good to be with you again.

Walter: Let's get out of here before they catch us ok. We can talk later.

Felecia: Right.

(Loud sirens start to go off and the loudspeaker comes on. PRISON BREACH EVERYONE REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE OR YOU WILL BE SHOT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL THERE HAS BEEN A PRISON BREACH!!! OFFICERS REPORT TO THE SCENE OF THE BREACH AND STOP ANY ESCAPEES!!! Felecia and her father have made it to the ground and start to run to escape and are stopped by Kingpin in their way.)

Kingpin: Planning to escape without me Walter. Tisk Tisk betrayed twice.

Walter: Out of our way Fisk.

Kingpin: No I'm putting you out of my way.

(Kingpin reaches for Walter's neck and Black Cat jump kicks Kingpin and pushes him back off her father.)

Kingpin: This must be your lovely daughter. Careful what you do sweetheart or you're next.

Black Cat: Your not going to touch him. Hiya...

(Black Cat tries to jump kick him again but Kingpin punches her sending her flying against a wall.)

Walter: Felecia NOOOOooo!!! Fisk you creep. I'm gonna kill you!!!

(Walter reaches to attack Kingpin and Kingpin catches him by his tubes on his machine on his back.)

Kingpin: Oh Walter. I thought I can depend on you. I won't kill you right away. I'll let you die slowly and maybe your daughter will recover in time to say good bye.

Walter: Go to hell Fisk.

Kingpin: Been there. Now I'm free thanks to your daughter.

(Kingpin rips off the machine of Walter's back and laughs and makes his escape. Walter falls to the floor weezing calling out to his daugther.)

Walter: Felecia....Fele...cia....

(Black Cat slowly gets up and shakes off the impact. She notices her father reaching out to him and she runs to him.)

Black Cat: Daddy...

Walter: Fele...cia...I...will...always...love...you...I'll ...always..be...watching...out...over...you...bye...my...angel....uhhhh....

Black Cat: Daddy...DADDY!!! NOOOoooo!!!! ::sobs:: and ::cries:::

(Guards start running towards the breach)

Guard 1: Everyone freeze or we'll open fire.

(Prisoners are still running out of the prison every which way and Black Cat disappears in the crowd and escapes.)

 

[HughJackFan420]

(Meanwhile back in the sewers. Lizard and Spiderman are discussing a plan to get Lizard to safety)

Lizard: Ok right above us is a huge water resevoir. I think we should be fine here. I don't think the police are too familiar with this area too much.

Spiderman: I'll go up top and see what's going on but I promise I'll be back for you.

Lizard: Thanks Peter. You're a great friend as well as a student. Once I find out a way to return back to normal I want to work on a new project. I might need your help. It involves the symbiote suit. I think I might've discovered a way to magnetize the symbiote through certain frequencies of soundwaves. That's all thanks to your brilliant discovery. I won't be there for your graduation but expect to still receive a little gift from me. You're a genius Peter don't let your other talents go to waste.

Spiderman: I don't plan to Dr. Connors thanks for your advice. Sorry I was such a slacker before but now you know why I was late all the time. I'm always gonna be..???

(Spidey senses go off and Carnage comes in flying into Spiderman. Spidey gets knocked down and looks up.)

Carnage: SPIDERMAN!!!

Lizard: Peter!

Carnage: Peter?? So you are Peter Parker. Hahaha Venom was right.

Spiderman: Venom?? You know Eddie?? Who the hell are you??

Carnage: So that's his name Eddie? Hmmm I'll remember that when I kill him. But first let's start with you. You don't remember me do you?? But do you remember my voice?? Remember you took my kill??

Spiderman: Oh my God Cletus Cassidy??

Carnage: The one and only.

Spiderman: How did you...???

Carnage: What?? Turn into the ultimate killing machine?? Your friend Eddie or Venom or whatever they call themselves let me borrow some of his black goo while I was locked in the joint. Now it's like fire in my veins. And I'm gonna just burn up watching you die by my hands.

Lizard: Not if I have anything to say about it.

(Lizard flies at Carnage with both arms out. Carnage slices both his arms off.)

Lizard: Arrrggggh!!!

Spiderman: Dr. Connors!!! You bastard. Aaaaahhhh!!!!

(Spiderman flies at Carnage and does a flying punch at him from all angles. Carnage tries to slice at him but Spidey keeps dodging his attacks. Finally Carnage shoots webbing at Spidey which sends him flying into a wall and sticks him there. Lizard gets up slowly and his arms quickly grow back.)

Lizard: Fascinating...Oh no Peter...

(Lizard looks up as Carnage's blades for arms get bigger and turn even more lethal.)

Carnage: Time to wipe the Spider out...

(Lizard lunges at him and grabs him by his head and somersaults him into one of the huge pipes surrounding them. Spiderman is trying to break free to help Lizard.)

Spiderman: (thinking to himself) His webbing is as strong as Brock's...it's that symbiote...fire and sound are it's weakness?? But where am I gonna get any of that right now??? Gas pipes?? Hopefully their flamable...you wanna burn up Cassidy alright...Grrrrrr

(Spiderman tries his hardest to start ripping out of Carnage's webbing while Carnage is slicing up the Lizard his limbs or wherever he gets cut rejuvenates right away.)

Carnage: Damn you why won't you just die.

Lizard: What's wrong creep mad cuz you've finally met your match.

(Lizard takes a bite of Carnage and uses his mouth to fling him across the area. Spiderman tears free and spots a gas pipe. He swings to it and rips the pipe off and gas begins to leak. Lizard watches what Spidey is doing and tries to hold off Carnage in the process.)

Lizard: Pure genius Peter. I'll hold off this creep start to beat those pipes.

(Spiderman uses the piece of pipe to start banging on other pipes in the sewer causing a strong echoing vibration due to the sewer tunnels. The symbiote on Carnage starts going crazy.)

Carnage: Aaaaahhh...What's...happening...to...me....

Lizard: It's working.

Spiderman: Doc no time to check if the coast is clear get out now and take care cover.

Lizard: I'll be waiting for you up top. Good luck kid.

Spiderman: Alright Cletus you wanna feel fire in your veins? One big fiery explosion coming up.

Carnage: Come back here...I'm not finished with you!!!!

(Carnage tries to reach for Spidey...Spidey swings out of the sewer still holding on to the piece of pipe from the gas pipes. He aims for dry concrete below in the sewer and causes a spark which ignites the nearby sewer system. BOOOOOMMMMM!!!! An explosion goes off underground igniting Carnage in the process and the symbiote starts to ooze off of him as he is burning in flames.)

Carnage: AAaaaaahhhh!!!! Damn you Spiderman!!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

(The huge explosion causes the sewer system around them to slowly collapse. As if a earthquake was taking place. Carnage is trying to pick up the symbiote oozing off of him but it's no use the fire is repelling it. Carnage dives in the water to put out the fire on him and the symbiote starts to collect on him again. He smiles but he realizes that the sewer is going to collapse and tries to escape. It's too late. The whole sewer around him collapses on him and crushes him. This causes the ground above to sink in and Spidey and Lizard just watch as this happens.)

 

[pjspider1C]

Please cut down on your dialogue. As I'm reading it, I feel like you're spelling everything out for me and repeating a lot things that don't need repeating. Assume your audience is smart. Each line should do one of two things 1) Forward the Plot or 2) Develop a character. Not tell us things we already know.

 

[TheCaretaker]

no.....
Carnage will live right lol, wow im just thinking its early if you are killing Carnage now.
​

 

[HughJackFan420]

Please cut down on your dialogue. As I'm reading it, I feel like you're spelling everything out for me and repeating a lot things that don't need repeating. Assume your audience is smart. Each line should do one of two things 1) Forward the Plot or 2) Develop a character. Not tell us things we already know.

yeah i'm honestly just using this as a first draft. later i will perfect to a real script but this is just getting the idea out there. but i'll keep that in mind thanks.