Nightwing: Hilarious Consequences

[Zev]

Nightwing idly poked at the juice box with his sharpened straw, not much noticing his lack of success. It served to keep him from staring at Raven, which was important. It wasn't that she was beautiful - she WAS, in her own way, but Dick had been around a lot of beautiful women - it was that he was about to broach an awkward subject with her and he didn't know how to start. Thankfully, Raven started the conversation for him.

"You and Barbara," she asked without asking.

"Yeah." Nightwing's gaze wandered to his glove. Under the lead-lined gloves which Batman had insisted he adopt after the new Supergirl arrived, Nightwing was thrilled to know he had on an plain gold band Barbara had gotten for him the day after his proposal. Bruce would probably disapprove... but if he had played by Bruce's rules, he and Barbara wouldn't be getting married. That was unthinkable.

"I hope you're very happy together. You deserve as much," Raven said in her usual harsh whisper that cut low but never made you strain to hear it.

"Thanks, Raven. That means a lot to me."

"I trust I'm invited to the wedding?"

"Of course! How could you think otherwise for a second?" Nightwing coughed, trying to hide his anxiety. "But there's something I need to ask you."

Raven pulled back her hood. Her face coming fully out of the shadows made her a trifle more approachable. "Anything."

"You haven't been feeling particularly... evil lately, have you?"

Raven's eyes widened in surprise. "No, not lately. Why?"

Nightwing wished he had brought someone along for back-up. "Well, you know... there was that one time."

Raven studied her shoes intently. "I did apologize for that."

"I know, I know... not your fault at all."

"I was going through a rough period in my life."

"Raven, you incinerated the priest."

"...you would bring that up, wouldn't you?"

Nightwing sighed. "Don't worry, we're not having it outdoors this time. But... well, it's alright if you ARE feeling evil."

"I'm not."

"But if you are, could you get it out of your system? You know, mwahahaha, you'll never stop me this time, et cetera, we laugh, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home. You know?"

Raven crossed her arms. "I'm not feeling evil."

"I know!"

"I'm not. At all."

"Alright... but if you happen to start, could you get it out of the way during the engagement? I'm going to go with the bachelor party as the cut-off point. You start feeling evil after then, just hold it in until after the wedding. And the honeymoon. The wedding and honeymoon. Those two things. After that, feel free to cut loose."

"I won't need to cut loose," Raven insisted. "Because I'm not evil. And I don't intend to be evil."

"Well, none of us intends to do a heel turn," Nightwing argued. "But you know how these things work. One minute you're all 'oh, I'll just be a little bit shades of gray, all the cool kids are doing it,' next thing you know, BAM, skimpy dominatrix outfit and you're plotting world domination. Seen it a million times. Hell, I've done it... although without the skimpy dominatrix outfit."

"Richard, if I promise not to be evil, then will you leave me alone?"

Nightwing nodded. "Sure, I'll take your word on it."

Raven shook his hand. "I promise I won't be evil."

"But if you are..."

"Not after the bachelor party or before the honeymoon, yes."

"Thanks a mil, Rave," Nightwing said, clasping his hands together. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to have this talk with Gar... and Cyborg... and Superboy..."

Raven nodded understandably. Nightwing walked to the door, feeling one of his periodic urges to rip off the glove and check to make sure that the engagement ring was still there, that this was really happening. He fought it off and turned back to Raven.

"Oh, and you're not going to brainwash me into falling in love with you again either, right?"

 

[MaskedManJRK]

Well, that would be a genuine concern when it comes to superhero marriges.

Nice stuff.