Now that I've seen all of the comic book movies, here's my movie by movie breakdown...from least favorite to favorite (not necessarily quality...just what I liked). I did not list Transformers 4 because this is a list focusing on movies based on comic books, so the Transformers franchise does not qualify.
12. Jailbait
This really doesn't deserve to be listed. Asylum (the makers of mockbusters like Transmorphers as well as Sharknado) has decided that they can rent more DVDs if they slap a "Based on the Graphic Novel" on the cover. So, they created Asylum Comics and rushed out a comic book shortly before the movie got released. Yeah, TECHNICALLY the comic was released first...but it wasn't "based" on it. This is a movie about a 17 year old (played by a 30 year old actress with tattoos and apparent breast implants) who kills her sexually abusive stepfather and goes to jail. In some ways this is an attempt to bring back prison sexploitation films, but there is no charm to this at all. No, this is pure trash. Outright garbage. One of the worst films of any genre this year. The script is such a shotgun blast that they can't even keep the characters acting consistent for the duration of a single scene, let alone throughout the film. I consider much of the plot flat out insulting to sexual assault victims.
11. Amazing Spider-Man 2
What a mess! I don't care about the Parker parents story...that has never been what drives Spider-Man. Electro seemed like he was pulled out of Batman & Robin's era of comic book movies. Much of the film was cut out (including a subplot involving Mary Jane Watson, and the story of Electro and his mom, and much of the Harry Osborne story, including stuff that was shown in the trailers), and it shows. It isn't that this is the worst movie ever made...it's that it should be EASY to make an awesome Spider-Man movie...and Sony screwed it up big time. It's a terrible movie that SHOULD kill this franchise before they can do more damage to the characters. The movie adapted one of the most important and beloved comic stories of all time, and ruined it, X-Men 3 style.
10. Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
Taking place before, during and after the first movie, this was more of the same. I spent most of the movie wondering why Marv was alive and trying to figure out the timeline. Frank Miller is way past his prime and shouldn't be encouraged. Everything that was cool about the first one is silly here. On the plus side, Eva Green is good, and I appreciate that they cast Julia Garner.
9. I, Frankenstein
Have you ever wanted to see Underworld, but without the hot British chick in tight leather? Well, this is the movie for you. Instead of vampires and werewolves, our hero is caught in a war between gargoyles and demons. There's something a bit odious about these movies that take Horror concepts and turn them into explosion-filled action adventure movies (like Dracula Untold). Plus, there was seemingly no thought or care put into making this. It's just a (failed) attempt to make money. Completely by the numbers without any depth or heart or even high quality effects to make it rise above mediocre. Even TMNT was fun to watch! Fortunately, this was a box office disaster. Ultimately though, this never had a chance to be good and its completely forgettable, and its that ability to be easily forgotten than prevents it from ranking any lower.
8. 300: Rise of an Empire
Taking place before, during and after the first movie, this was more of the same. All these years later though, we've seen that slow motion swords and sandals thing too many times in other films, so this movie is instantly forgettable and shouldn't exist. Also, Frank Miller is way past his prime and shouldn't be encouraged. On the plus side, Eva Green is good.
7. The Scribbler
A really, really cool idea that should have been handled better. The writer of the comic also wrote the script, and they maybe should have let someone else have a shot at it...someone who wasn't so close to the material and could see the flaws in the story. Also, while it does okay with the budget it had, a bigger budget could have made for cooler visuals. In a way, this movie reminded me of The Matrix. However, while The Matrix was a great movie with a great idea, this is a bad movie with a great idea.
6. X-Men: Days of Future Past
A movie that doesn't deserve the hype it got. It's basically Xavier nagging Mystique until she finally gets sick of it and gives up. BUT...the biggest issue with this film is that IT SHOWED THE FUTURE AT THE END. The entire point of this movie was to free us from the continuity of the previous films, and then in the end it tied this and all future movies to a new future that is set in stone. What a STUPID move that ruins a great deal of potential drama in X-movies that haven't even been made yet! Reshoots all but eliminated Rogue from the film, and gave her storyline to Kitty Pryde...which makes no sense. I could go on, but I'm getting angry. On the plus side, Quicksilver was cool...before disappearing because the script needed him to go away.
5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
I had never seen a TMNT movie or any of the cartoons before. They just aren't my thing. Plus, I have a hard time telling them apart because not only do they all look very similar, their personalities seem too similar as well (which ended up not being a problem). I watched this...and it is STUPID. I mean, braindead. However, I laughed a few times at the jokes (mostly from the news van driver), and while I have no interest in a sequel, I don't hate that I spent time watching this piece of crap that I don't recommend to anyone. It never even tried to be a "good" movie, so I can't really fault it for not being very good. Unlike X-Men, the makers of this film went in with an agenda and accomplished that agenda.
4. Blue is the Warmest Color
Released overseas in 2013 but delayed to 2014 in the US, this fractured release probably cost the movie and its star Adèle Exarchopoulos at the Oscars. Exarchopoulos is amazing in this...the best female acting performance in the history of comic book films. This is the only comic book film to ever win the Palm D'or at the Cannes Film Festival, and for the first time ever at the festival, the award was given to the two stars in addition to the director. On the surface, its an almost pornographic look at a lesbian romance. But if you can get past that (and many can't), it's the story of a girl trying to figure out and accept who she is, and how people can be drawn together and torn apart by their differences. There are some brilliant character moments. Truth be told, this is possibly the BEST comic book movie EVER. However, this isn't a list of the best, it's a list of my personal favorites...and I prefer sci-fi action heroics over French language relationship dramas.
3. Guardians of the Galaxy
A fun homage to classic Sci-fi with a lot of heart, this movie introduces us to several characters who should be viewed in the coming decades the way we view the characters from Star Wars today. Groot, Nebula, Rocket and Drax are modern classics! A lot of people compare it to Star Wars or Firefly, but I felt it was closer to Flash Gordon. I guess it's a mix of all of the above, which...you know...equals total awesomeness. It's only real problem is that it failed to fully develop its villain. What should have come off as a Muslim extremist who refuses to end the war that his people have lost so many lives over came off closer to the shallowness of Malekith from Thor: The Dark World. But it was incredibly fun and had a lot of heart and a ton of cool visuals and characters.
2. Snowpiercer
Chris Evans stars in a story about literal class warfare. This is a HIGHLY political...really kind of an anarchistic...movie, dealing with how those who run the world pull ALL of the strings, and how true freedom is impossible while working within the structure of the system...but true freedom is also a risky option that could very well destroy the society we have. But on the surface, its about a world where an attempt to stop global warming has created an ice age, and whats left of humanity lives on a train that never stops circling the globe. This is one of the darkest, deepest sci-fi movies I've ever seen. Plus, while The Interview gets all the hype, this movie stomps all over the government of North Korea...it just isn't presented as two stoners being sent to kill the leader.
1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
With its blatant commentary against the policies of the US government's drone and domestic spy programs as well as the President's so-called "kill list," it does what a Captain America movie should do...use the character to point out what is great and not-so great about our country. The Winter Soldier (the character) created electricity every moment that he was on the screen and is already one of Marvel's coolest characters. However, I contend that Captain America is the true Winter Soldier. The original, real world Winter Soldiers fought for our country's independence under the harshest of conditions. We like to forget this part, but the war was not exactly the most popular idea...and our soldiers often were refused food and lodging even during a brutal winter season. The real Winter Soldiers were forced to eat their own shoes for sustenance. In that sense, the title takes on a double meaning. Captain America was a wanted man...considered an enemy...had nowhere to turn...and yet he refused to back down from his morality and mission, no matter what the cost to himself. On top of that, it's a darn good political thriller/action movie.
"These are the times that try men's souls: The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman."- Thomas Paine (The Crisis).
