Clayface
Afternoon, maam.
Hello, welcome to Citibank, how are you?
Why, Im just peachy, thank ya much. Dyou reckon I could open me an account here?
Why, yes, sir, you want Ambrosia Edwards over there.
Thank ye kindly.
Scuse me, are you Miss Edwards?
Yes, sir, do you want to open an account with us today?
Why, yes, maam, I sure do. Boy, youre sharpern a tack fresh out the box.
Ha ha. Thank you, sir. Okay, Im going to need your name, your number, address, et cetera. You know, just fill out these papers right here. Do you have a drivers license?
No, maam. But, I done got this picture ID made a few months back, whenever my nieces and nephews came up to visit from the home country. You see, the kids, they got caught up in makin clubs and what-have-you, and they got this idear to make up ID cards sos you could get into their HQ, which was just a fort made of pillows and blankets really. Nice kids. Heh. They warnted me t be the Prez of their club, and I played along.
Hah. Thats just precious. They sound like great kids, Mister
Williams.
Please, call me Johnny. Is this alright? Im sorry, I aint got no e-mail to put down here. Is that gonna be a problem?
No, sir, itll be just fine. If youll sign here, please.
Sure thing, Miss Edwards.
Please, call me 'Brosia.
Alright, then, 'Brosia, there ya go, all filled out and signed.
Do you have any cash you wish to deposit into this account, uh, Johnny?
Actually, maam, Ive got this travelers check for somewheres over a hundred thousand bucks. I know it seems like a lot, and its mos definitely more zeroesn Ive ever seen before in my life, but its sort of an inheritance bein as how my granmama went to join the angels, bless her soul. She was a great granmama, and she done made th best apricot clobber youd ever fill yer stomach wit.
Im sorry for your loss.
Our loss is the good Lords gain, maam, and Ill have somefin to look forward ta whenever I go ta join her. Aint nowhere she is that aint the most goldurn hootenanny jes waitin to happen. Aint never tought that woman could be outlasted, but God done got tired of waitin, and I dont blame him, miss Brosia.
Now, would you like both a savings account and a checking account?
Oh, just savings, maam, and Ill settle for the Money Market account. I read a little brochure that told me about your different kinds of savings accounts, yesm.
Well, alright, then, were just speeding along here.
Thats good, maam, cause I wouldnt wanna take up more of your time than needed.
Oh, please, this is my job.
I know, maam, but I been a workin man myself. Im kinda unployed at this here moment, bein as I moved here not too long ago, but I dont spect to keep that way for too much longer. Granmama always was lookin out fer me, bless her heart.
Oh yeah? Where did you move from, if I may ask.
Oh, I come up all the way from Louisiana, maam. One thing I noticed right off the bat was the change in temperatures around here. A might cooler, if I do say so.
Yes, hah hah, I imagine it is. Wow, thats a long way. What brought you up to Gotham, if I may ask?
Well, maam, its actually kind of embarrassin, to tell the truth. I kinda got gipped into one of them scams, and I was talked inta packing up house and home and heading north lookin for fools gold. But Ive alays wanted to see the world, and this is as good a start as any.
Well, Im glad youre keeping positive about that.
Yes, maam, I intend to make a good thing out of this.
Alright, well, Ive got you set up here. You should keep this in your wallet, because this has your account number on it. And this is a summary of how much you now have in your very own Gotham Citibank account.
Why, thank you much.
And here, I dont know if you knew this, but weve been handing out free watches to new patrons, just as a limited time freebie give-a-way. There are plenty of ways to earn freebies with us. Would you like to hear about our Thank You points?
No thank you, maam, I know its great if you can sell your customers on all your fancy things, but Im wasted on all that glitter and shiny things. Im a simple man, and Im satisfied with the bare basics, but thank you again.
No, thank you. Well, youre all set. You need anything else?
Well, miss Brosia, I only need one more thing. Could you possibly direct me to where the bathroom is located?
Oh, well we dont have bathrooms, at least not for the public, but
Nah, maam, thats jus fine. I can alays use em elsewhere, thank ya kindly.
You come back. And have a good day.
Thank you, maam, I will. And you too!
Johnny Williams tipped his hat and pushed the door open, emerging into a bleak atmosphere outside, cast by the gray clouds overhead. He pulled up the collar of his hunting jacket and pocketed his hands while he nodded to a young woman walking past. His alligator-skin boots clunked against the sidewalk as he moved along. A sudden burst in the breeze threatened to knock away his hat, but a swift hand held it in place. His eyes darted about, taking in everything around him. Abruptly, something in an alleway that he was passing seemingly caught his attention, and he immediately turned down there. He turned back to see if anybody was watching him, and turned back.
He almost tripped over the bum lying against the trash dumpster, who muttered incomprehensibly in his sleep. He walked around him and ducked on the other side of the dumpster. He could see the other end of the alley several yards away, but he tucked himself further and further into the dark corner. His hat and jacket melted away into mud, along with his skin. Unseen by nobody, he melted into a puddle of thick mud. The puddle began to move of its own accord, swiftly flowing beneath the bums bent legs toward a drain he had espied near the opening of the alley.