Public Restroom and Bowel Movement noises.

[PWN3R]

Yes, that. I hate that. Especially at work and it's three hours from my lunch so I have NO CHOICE but to take a slam there. I've just always HATED making fart noises and droppage noises* in public restrooms.

Anytime I'm in there getting my work out on, and some kind stranger uses one of those LOUD super loud hand blowers? Yeah, they instantly become my best friend. See because when they do that, it overlaps my poop sounds, thus in turn making it impossible for anyone to hear.



So anytime I'm leaving a public restroom, I make it a point to hit the hand dryer. That way any poor soul make a noisy slam can do it in peace. Sort of.

You should practice this.

*where the package FIRST hits the water, which creates a loud and abrupt splashing sound that can sometimes feel good.

 

[DarknessOfDeath]

oh my god... your so random PWN3R

 

[Honey Vibe]

Drop your scat at home and you won't have this problem.

 

[Mee]

In a related story, I don't get the guys who grunt when they pee. Like they've been holding their breath for half an hour.


One time, I was supposed to meet my parents at this place and they were gonna introduce me to this guy. I get there, and hit up the restroom 1st thing. Guy in there is at the urinal going "UUUung....OH....Urrhh....*flush*" I do my thing, find the parents, they take me to meet the guy and sure enough it's Mr. Grunt N' Pee. He sticks out his hand for a shake as I try to remember if I heard him use the sink or not, I couldn't remember, so I shook.

 

[SsM]

Aww man, This is awesome. I hate being in the bathroom when those noises are being made by someone else :/

 

[Ion Kenshin]

In a related story, I don't get the guys who grunt when they pee. Like they've been holding their breath for half an hour.


One time, I was supposed to meet my parents at this place and they were gonna introduce me to this guy. I get there, and hit up the restroom 1st thing. Guy in there is at the urinal going "UUUung....OH....Urrhh....*flush*" I do my thing, find the parents, they take me to meet the guy and sure enough it's Mr. Grunt N' Pee. He sticks out his hand for a shake as I try to remember if I heard him use the sink or not, I couldn't remember, so I shook.

hahaha i call those guys the exact same thing and i hate when they do that....i don't get it

 

[DarknessOfDeath]

What I hate is when you walk in the stall and the first thing you see is a toilet bowl full of piss and poop.

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

Drop your scat at home and you won't have this problem.

scat.... hhahahahaha.... that's great

 

[SsM]

What I hate is when you walk in the stall and the first thing you see is a toilet bowl full of piss and poop.

I walked into our employee bathroom a week or so ago.. and not only did I see piss and poop in the bowl.. BUT IT WAS ALL OVER THE SEAT...

Spoiler

AND THE WALL!!!!

 

[DarknessOfDeath]

I walked into our employee bathroom a week or so ago.. and not only did I see piss and poop in the bowl.. BUT IT WAS ALL OVER THE SEAT...

Spoiler

AND THE WALL!!!!

Sick. Not something I'd wanna see everyday. A while ago, I wake up and the first thing I get to is the bathroom...and then the horror of seeing my bro's logs... floating about in urine. I felt I was gonna puke my guts out and I didn't have breakfast that day.

 

[xisaacx]

When noises are made by someone else ,I cant help but to laugh. I mean the sound of someone struggling to squeeze one out is so funny haha especially when its really quiet and you hear a "uuuuugh" haha

 

[Carcharodon]

I was on the toilet once at a grocery store, and a guy came in and took a leak in the urinal. Well, he let out a masterful fart.

I'm not sure what drove me to do it, but I was compelled. I applauded.

After a shocked two seconds of silence, the guy starts laughing and says, "Thank you, I've been saving that one since 5th street."

I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Well, until all that "warm and fuzzy" went into the bowl, anyways.

 

[knowsbleed]

This whole thread reminds me of Eddie Murphy imitating Richard Pryor... telling poo jokes:

You ever get on that toilet



and when you ****,



that water splash up on your ass?

Don't that make you mad, right?

just a sample... much funnier aurally.

 

[Holiday]

It seems like every time I've went into a public restroom lately some guy is taking a loud ****. I hate it, I just try to piss and get out of there before they're done and I see their face.

 

[Sentinel X]

This reminds me:
I go to this Barnes and Nobles one day and I use the bathrooms (my Barnes and Nobels is really nice but my goodness they have the nastiest bathroom ever...its like a gas station bathroom and its really small, only one stall and 2 urinals)...well anyway Im using the urinals and I hear Pffffttttttt-plkk -Puuuufttttt....Giant wet fart, I giggle a little bit but at the same time Im holding my breath because yeah...it was a wet one
Anyways the guy comes out and rinses his hands for 2 seconds and leaves....WTF!!! When you have diarhea at least have the decency to wash your hands WITH soap...and if not at least rinse for 30 seconds, AT LEAST!! ...thats how people get e-coli and s***!!! ...no pun intended

 

[Symbiotic]

This thread is fantastic.

 

[knowsbleed]

Public restrooms are the haven for the DEVIL!



when I say "the DEVIL!"... I really mean fart noises.

 

[Jennifer Walters]

I never used public restrooms.

 

[Poetic Chaos]

My friends and I have been talking about our million dollar ideas. Mine were a pee and poo muffler. I have a solid idea on how make a pee-screen but the poo one has me stumped.

2 of my friends have bathrooms that are right next to the main hangout areas of the house. So if we're all watching a dvd and someone has to use the bathroom, your business, whether it be a brute stream or a power plop, will be heard by the rest of the group.

 

[Nirvana]

Before I go out to run errands, hang out with friends, or just planning to go out I always take a **** so I won't have to bother with having to go while out.

 

[Spidey-Bat]

One time I heard a guy in a stall go: "URRRRRRRR.......OH GOD.....URRRR!!!" Everyone outside just stood still and looked at each other.

 

[michephantom]

When you get to a certain age, you don't care anymore. At least it gets this way for women. When I was in college I couldn't fart or poop in a public restroom. This made things complicated, because I had a class right at the time I always had to go. So I would hold through the enormously long class.

But anyways, at my job, when I ned to go, I don't hold back. I deal with enough from the students (most of whom aren't potty-trained) that I don't care.

For godssakes, it's a bathroom.

 

[Lighthouse]

Right before I drop, I flush the toilet, so not only does it cover the sound, but it takes away the turds and the offending smell. You just need to flush twice.

 

[OctaviusINC]

When you get to a certain age, you don't care anymore. At least it gets this way for women. When I was in college I couldn't fart or poop in a public restroom. This made things complicated, because I had a class right at the time I always had to go. So I would hold through the enormously long class.

But anyways, at my job, when I ned to go, I don't hold back. I deal with enough from the students (most of whom aren't potty-trained) that I don't care.

For godssakes, it's a bathroom.

Yeah, but it's a PUBLIC bathroom. It's always something you should do privately, but now in PUBLIC. That's why people have problems with it. So it's kind of nerve racking.

If done wrong, pooping could be downright nasty.

 

[Knightsaber Priss]

Even worse are not the noises your expulsion of solid wastes makes in a public restroom but whether or not you leave a floater behind because it wouldn't flush. At my job we have a public bathroom with just one toilet, which as attendant I have to clean. I've seen many a gruesome sight in that bathroom. I will not use it myself unless I've properly disinfected it. I won't even sit on it to go pee, which is quite a talent if you're of the feminine persuasion.