Public Restroom and Bowel Movement noises.

[Figs]

There's this guy at work my coworkers and I nicknamed Hazmat.

He will leave the bathroom smelling for a good couple of hours, it's the nastiest smell I've ever encountered out of all the public bathrooms I've been in. When the janitor comes in he will spray the living hell out of the place with air refreshener to fight the stench.

While doing my business in there a few times, 'Hazmat' would come in and blow the place up. The sad thing is, he flushes...but it doesn't help...at all! It's like he doesn't wash his ass or something.

It's made my eyes water and I've actually gagged a few times. Nothing else in the past comes close to what I've dealt with from Hazmat.

 

[chaseter]

Public restroom shenanigans are the best!

At college, my cousin and I use to do a thing called "poopooing" someone. When someone is in a stall dropping off logs, just when you are about to leave say: "Ohhhh, smells like you've got a nice poopoo going on in there," or something to that effect and they will always laugh!

Also, turning off the lights as you are leaving will surely piss off said poopoo'er and even make a surprise happen when someone else enter the dark rest room!

We have also pissed all over the toilet paper, smeared some chocolate on the seats, and many other things.

 

[Anubis]

Wow. You sir, are a dick.

 

[chaseter]

We in fact "poopoo'ed" someone at the most expensive restaurant in town Saturday night at our grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary dinner.

 

[PWN3R]

Turning the lights off NEVER gets old. Never.

 

[chaseter]

Go back to New Orleans and avoid me

 

[Spider-X]

I usually wait and when i hear someone enter the restroom i proudly and loudly announce my full name...and then I let loose.

 

[BlackLantern]

Turning the lights off NEVER gets old. Never.

Agreed...

 

[amazingfantasy15]

While it's not about crapping the best story I have about a washroom was after a long night of drinking, me and some friends went to Denny's. About halfway through everyone's "meals" one of our friends just leaves the table, about 5 minutes later he comes back and just says we gotta leave now! So we all pay and go to leave, as we're leaving someone walks out of the bathroom and just says "Damn, it looks like someone just threw it all over the place!". Guess he puked and hit everywhere except the toilet.

 

[BlackLantern]

When I was in Japan, during my time in the USN, I learned that the street public toilets aren't really toilets, its basically built into the ground so you have to squat over it....I walked into one once and saw a log at least 18 inches long....I ran....

 

[Visionary]

Lucky for me...I was born without an anus...thus is the reason why all I talk is $#!T.

 

[chaseter]

We love you Vis

 

[rizzo51]

luckily i live about 2 blocks away from where i work so i don't have to deal with that often.

 

[Immortalfire]

People always taking ****s on the floor. I mean REALLY? How the hell do you even manage to pull that off? I mean seriously HOW? ****. Floor. Whaaaaat?

Missing the toilet while pooping...one of the great mysteries.

 

[Spider-ManHero12]

One time in a restaurant, I was washing my hands in th bathroom and I hear a loud fart and a grunt, lol. The grunts are always funny, but the splashing tops it, LOL. Also, high school bathrooms are disgusting, lol. There are always poo and pee in the toilet at the same time.

 

[PWN3R]

There are always poo and pee in the toilet at the same time.

When you come across that do you ever wonder if it was just one person who created that mess? What if it was someone else who stumbled upon the turd salad and decided to put dressing on it anyway?

I know I've done that before.

 

[The Apatow Crew]

When you come across that do you ever wonder if it was just one person who created that mess? What if it was someone else who stumbled upon the turd salad and decided to put dressing on it anyway?

I know I've done that before.

turd salad? lol what?

 

[Sawyer]

I'd sooner take a dump out on the street than use a public bathroom. In my mind, those are for pee only. I'd literally rather take a **** in the gutters than go ass to toilet seat in a public restroom. Only God knows what people actually do in there. And a thin layer of paper just isnt enough for me to pinch a loaf in one of those things.

 

[hammy]

My friends and I have been talking about our million dollar ideas. Mine were a pee and poo muffler. I have a solid idea on how make a pee-screen but the poo one has me stumped.

 

[SonikDeath]

This is the funniest, most disgusting thread ive ever read on here.

 

[PWN3R]

I'd sooner take a dump out on the street than use a public bathroom. In my mind, those are for pee only. I'd literally rather take a **** in the gutters than go ass to toilet seat in a public restroom. Only God knows what people actually do in there. And a thin layer of paper just isnt enough for me to pinch a loaf in one of those things.

I feel the same way believe me, but sometimes the only alternative is ruining your pants.


One time in junior high, this girl did a report on these spiders that live in toilets and bite people when they sit down. I never looked it up to see if it's true or not, but that started my whole phobia on public restrooms.

 

[Sawyer]

I feel the same way believe me, but sometimes the only alternative is ruining your pants.


One time in junior high, this girl did a report on these spiders that live in toilets and bite people when they sit down. I never looked it up to see if it's true or not, but that started my whole phobia on public restrooms.

Good God, what kind of disturbed child would do a report on toilet spiders?!

 

[michephantom]

Toilet spiders, LOL! I know many people with arachnaphobia. This could be very fun...

 

[Kevin]

This is one of the greatest threads i've ever read.

 

[Kevin]

Like a horror movie. They always see you, and you see them, and you try to hold your breath and not move thinking that makes you invisible.

Why do people hold their breath?