Random Simpsons Quotes Thread

[Mdizzle]

I don't know why I never commented on this before but great avvy, Obi-Ron! Haha Poochie.

"Dad, Mom forgot to help me with my costume!"
"It's always something, isn't it. First, I have to drive your pregnant mother to the hospital to give birth to you. And now this!"

Haha, great parenting.

 

[Mdizzle]

I decided we were also lacking some great Principal Skinner quotes:

"...Well, let me tell you this, Valentine's Day is no joke!"
*Flashback to his army days, where his comrade gets shot....*
*over the school intercom* "Johnny? Johnny? JOHNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY!!!!!!"
"Cool, I broke his brain!"

"Children, I couldn't help monitoring your conversation. There's no mystery about Willie. Why, he simply disappeared. Now, let's have no more curiosity about this bizarre cover-up."

"Hello, Simpson. I'm riding the bus today because Mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it."

 

[Obi-Ron]

I don't know why I never commented on this before but great avvy, Obi-Ron! Haha Poochie.

Red Hulk should be louder, more obnoxious, and have access to a time machine.

 

[Pink Ranger]

^ Nah, Red Hulk comes across as being too proactive ...

Troy with Selma: Look, I'm back from the gutter, and I've brought somebody with me!

 

[Mdizzle]

Red Hulk should be louder, more obnoxious, and have access to a time machine.

I dunno he's got no attitude, he's barely outrageous, and I don't know what he's in, but it's not my face.

I want a realistic down-to-earth show that's completely off the wall and swarming with magic robots!

 

[Obi-Ron]

HANS MOLEMAN: "I was saying Boo-urns."

 

[Mdizzle]

HANS MOLEMAN: "I was saying Boo-urns."

That reminds me of this...

"Mwah mwah! Try it, Marge, it's like kissing a peanut!"
"Homer, I want that thing out of my house."

 

[K.B.]

Regular Movies

• Alice's Adventure through the Windshield Glass (
• The Boatjacking of Supership '79
• Calling All Quakers (with Dolores Montenegro)
• Christmas Ape
• Christmas Ape Goes To Summer Camp
• The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel
• Cry Yuma
• David versus Super Goliath
• Dial M for Murderousness
• The Electric Gigolo
• The Erotic Adventures of Hercules
• Give My Remains to Broadway
• Gladys the Groovy Mule
• Good-Time Slim, Uncle Doobie, and the Great 'Frisco Freak-Out'
• The Greatest Story Ever Hulaed
• Here Comes the Coast Guard
• Hitler Doesn't Live Here Anymore
• Hydro, the Man With the Hydraulic Arms
• Leper in the Backfield
• Make-Out King of Montana
• Meet Joe Blow
• The Muppets Go Medieval
• "P" is for Psycho
• Preacher With a Shovel (with Dolores Montenegro)
• The President's Neck is Missing
• The Revenge of Abe Lincoln
• The Seven-Year Old *****
• Sorry, Wrong Closet
• Suddenly Last Supper
• They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall
• Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die
• The Verdict Was Mail Fraud
• The Wackiest Covered Wagon in the West

Educational films and self help videos

You might remember Troy McClure from such educational films and self help videos as:

• 60 Minutes of Car Crash Victims
• Adjusting Your Self-O-Stat (with Brad Goodman)
• Alice's Adventure through the Windshield Glass
• Alice Doesn't Live Any More
• Birds: Our Fine Feathered Colleagues
• The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot
• Designated Drivers: The Lifesaving Nerds
• Dig Your Own Grave and Save
• Earwigs, Ew!
• Firecrackers: The Silent Killer
• Fuzzy Bunny's Guide to You-Know-What
• Get Confident, Stupid!
• The Half-Assed Approach to Foundation Repair
• Here Comes the Metric System
• Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly
• Locker Room Towel Fights: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll
• Man Versus Nature: The Road To Victory
• Meat and You – Partners in Freedom
• Mommy, What's Wrong With That Man's Face?
• Mothballing Your Battleship
• Phony Tornado Alerts Reduce Readiness
• Shoplifters BEWARE
• Smoke Yourself Thin
• Someone's in the Kitchen with DNA!
• Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun
• Young Jebediah Springfield
• Welcome to Springfield Airport
• Where's Nordstrom?

TV specials

• Alien Nose Job
• Carnival of the Stars
• Five Fabulous Weeks of The Chevy Chase Show
• Let's Save Tony Orlando's House
• Out With Gout '88
• The Miss American Girl Pageant
• The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular
• The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase

TV series

• AfterMannix
• America's Funniest Tornadoes
• Buck Henderson, Union Buster
• Handel with Kare
• I Can't Believe They Invented It!
• Shortland Street
• Son of Sanford and Son
• Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory

Cartoons

• Christmas Ape
• Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp

Celebrity funerals

• Herschel Shmoikel Krustofsky, aka Krusty the Clown
• Andre the Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye
• Shemp Howard: Today We Mourn A Stooge

Musicals

• Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off!

Retrieved from "http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_Troy_McClure_Films"

 

[Mdizzle]

^^ wicked list.

Some noteworthy ones:

Locker Room Towel Fights: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll
Man Versus Nature: The Road To Victory
Mommy, What's Wrong With That Man's Face?

and The Erotic Adventures of Hercules:

"Hercules! The Cyclops tore off my clothes!"
"Ha ha ha!"

 

[Mdizzle]

"Alcohol-fueled car...."
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." *Drools*

 

[K.B.]

Tonight had a classic Moe line


Moe:"You wanna dance with a goat? I'll be doing a lot of things but judging ain't one of 'em."

 

[Mdizzle]

More Moe:

"Hello, Moe's Tavern? Just a sec. Hey everybody, I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt, and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt!"

Hahaha that's the best of the prank calls, simply cuz there is no way you could dupe someone into saying that out loud. Another good one? The Homer Sexual prank.

 

[Obi-Ron]

My favorite Moe line is from when Bart's factory collapsed, and all the rats run across the street and into the bar: "All right, now everyone tuck your pants into your socks." Just something about the nonchalant way he says it..

 

[Wesley Dodds]

MARGE: Come on, Homer, Japan will be fun. You liked Rashomon.

HOMER: That's not how I remember it!


Genius.

 

[The Impaler]

"You don't snuggle with Max Power, you strap yourself in and FEEL THE CHEESE!"

"Kids, theres 3 ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way and the max power way"
"Isn't that the wrong way?"
"yes, but faster"

 

[Mdizzle]

My favorite Moe line is from when Bart's factory collapsed, and all the rats run across the street and into the bar: "All right, now everyone tuck your pants into your socks." Just something about the nonchalant way he says it..

I always think of this one:

"Hey everyone. I'm Moe, or as the ladies like to call me, 'hey you behind the bushes'."

Dead silence.

 

[Mdizzle]

"Tut, tut, gentle Marge. That triumvirate of twinkies merely overcame my resolve. But here in the boudoir, the gourmand metamorphosizes into the voluptuary!!!"

 

[Matt]

My favorite Simpsons quote ever (yes, its a 2 minute song )

 

[Obi-Ron]

It's the part he was born to play, baby!

 

[Dr. Evil]

Rainier Wolfcastle Movies:

McBain
* McBain (1991)
* McBain II (1992)
* McBain III (1994)
* McBain IV: Fatal Discharge (1996)
* McBain 5: The Final Chapter (2000)
* McBain: You Have the Right to Remain Dead
* McBain: Let's Get Silly (a stand-up comedy movie where McBain tells horrible jokes and attacks hecklers)

Other Wolfcastle Movies:

- My Baby is an Ugly Man
- Help, My Son is a Nerd
- Mrs. Mom
- Frankenberry: The Movie
- I Shoot Your Face
- I Shoot Your Face Again
- Diaper Genie

Also owned Planet Springfield, a parody of Planet Hollywood

 

[K.B.]

My fav characters are (in no order)
Moe
Willy
Grandpa
Millhouse
Cletus
Ralph
Hutz/McClure
Gill

 

[Mdizzle]

My favorite Simpsons quote ever (yes, its a 2 minute song )

"Can I play the piano anymore?"
"Of course you can!"
"Well I couldn't before!"

The best part is the synthesizer/keyboard interlude and when the guy starts break dancing.

 

[SoulManX]

Leonard Nimoy: Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No.

Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, 'Smashing Pumpkins'."
Homer Simpson: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

Titanya: But Duffman, you said if I slept with you I wouldn't have to touch the drunk!
Duffman: Duffman... says a lot of things! Oh, yeah!

Lucy Lawless: ... but I'm sure that once girls get to know the real you, you'll get plenty of dates. Next question.
[hands go up. She picks Frink]
Frink: Yes, over here, n'hey, n'hey. In episode BF12, you were battling barbarians while riding a winged Appaloosa, yet in the very next scene, my dear, you're clearly atop a winged Arabian. Please do explain it.
Lucy Lawless: Ah, yeah, well, whenever you notice something like that, a wizard did it.
Frink: I see, all right, yes, but in episode AG4 --
Lucy Lawless: Wizard.
Frink: [under breath] Aw, for glaven out loud.


Leonard Nimoy: I think this vessel could do at least warp 5.
Quimby: Yes, and may the force be with you.
Leonard Nimoy: Do you even know who I am?
Quimby: Of course I do. Werent you one of the little rascals.

 

[SoulManX]

Mayor Quimby: Now I'd like to introduce the Prophet of Love, Larry White.
Barry White: It's Barry White.
Mayor Quimby: No, the card says Larry White.
Barry White: I think I know my own name.
Mayor Quimby: Yeah, well we'll just see about that.

Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

Homer: I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Homer: No offense Apu, but when they're handing out religions you must be out taking a whizz.
Apu: Mr. Simpson, pay for your purchases and get out...and come again.

 

[SoulManX]

Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.

Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

Homer: Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

Duffman: Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!