Review: The Wickerman

Addendum said:
It's funny that there are people that actually spend money on crap

hey...i didn't spend money to go see that sh@t fest...my dad and sister are horror movie freaks and wanted to see it...my g/f and i warned them of how crappy is was gonna be and my dad offered for us to go with them...i had nothing else to do...

for what it's worth we got some great laughs at the end.
 
Isn't the remake suppose to have a ending with a twist?
 
Caliber said:
Isn't the remake suppose to have a ending with a twist?

Actually in the original the ending is the twist.

So while I haven't seen the remake, that very same twist should exist at the end of that film.
 
the twist in the remake is......
After killing Nick Cage...these crazy *****es go to a bar to lure a new man to their man hating society of crazy *****es....
 
I've never seen the first one. Anyone know if they're giving it on cable anytime soon. I'd like to check it there.

The previews looked decent. Not great....but decent. I'm not really surprised at how bad people say it is.

Any gore in it? Someone mentioned HOUSE OF WAX comes to mind, and well.....that film atleast had someone getting a finger cut off....and a butchered head.....
 
SPOILERS THROUGHOUT




Wow....just..........wow.

This ranges from completely inane, to absolutely pointless, to a train wreck of a combination between them.

The mysterious mother and daughter that get randomly smashed with a truck at the beginning and for some reason have unknown identities connects to the story in no way whatsoever and seemed to be there as a lame plot device(one of many)just to traumatize the main character....much like the film itself does it its audience.

The bees...what the hell? Again, doesn't really connect the story and could've been completely removed without hurting the narrative one bit, and it actually would've helped it. "Let's just say the island is infested with bees, just...because; and throw in that the main character is allergic to them, even though it has nothing to do with anything."

They depict the "Pagans" as seemingly Amish through the bulk of the film, or atleast a hackneyed Hollywoodized version of it,
then suddenly turn into Pagans during the final act for the sake of of a horrendously mis-handled ritualistic sacrafice, which doesn't so much mirror the original as show it through a broken, funhouse mirror.

The "Pagans" claim that the main character is dying a as a martyr, even though in this version his beliefs are only very vaguely referenced and they really have nothing to do with his death or his reaction to it.
Furthermore, this was supposed to be the great sacrafice that was going to save their crops, yet the movie ends with the lamest attempt at a clever scare to grace the screen in quite some time where the Pagans send their women to the city to lure in more sacrafices.
So in other words, the filmmakers ideal depiction of Paganism is repetitive, excessive sacrafice even when the sacrafice to appease their gods has already been made, purely out of their love for sacraficing people; and also savagely torture the sacrafice prior to the occasion when it serves no purpose whatsoever in regard to the sacrafice other than making it more excruciating.
There's also very little explanation as to why this man is the ideal sacrafice. In this film, he pretty much is because he is with an excuse tacked onto the end of it that's more of an elaborate "haha we gotcha!" writing scheme by the filmmakers than something that has anything to do with the spirituality of the Pagans.

Basically the entire film can be summed up as the filmmakers coming up with one inane plot device after another just for the sake of driving a story that makes no sense and has no point forward with the answer to why these things are happening being nothing other than "Because we wrote it," and the answer to the question of why they wrote it being, as shown by the film, "We dunno."
 
i was surprised they re-made this...not surprised that it's horrible.
 
I just saw the original. Awesome, crazy little film that does well to plant those seeds of heebie-jeebie-ness in you throughout the movie.

Now I see why a remake is impossible....and completely, utterly pointless. No wonder the world hates us...stupid remakes of great foreign films. Maybe they need to remake the Godfather with Rowan Atkinson as Don Corleone for payback.
 
screw this movie and screw crappy remakes of great movies.

Re-release not Re-make!
 
I love some remakes, I'm not opposed to them in general, just terrible and/or absolutely pointless(which not all of them are)ones.
 
This movie blew hard. I love Cage, but this was just god awful. It goes nowhere fast, and ends on a down note and it makes you want to vomit it's so bad.
 
I dont hate remakes either, about 70 to 80 percent are bad but there are a few that rock! King Kong comes to mind!
 
This movie was absoloutly rubbish. I fell asleep through some of it. The only good thing about this movie was Cage's acting and thats where it stops. Everything else was sh1t.
 
I too liked Cage, but it didn't do much good since I hate almost everything else.

SPOILERS



I forgot to mention how ridiculously stupid it is that the "pagans" committ cold-blooded murder in a way that clearly has zilch to do with their beliefs simply because the victim displeased them, especially after stating "we don't murder people here."
 

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