Should I take the offer?

[Superman79]

My advice? Don't do it, for now. If they ask again, when she's a little older and able to do more on her own, then re-consider the offer.

You know, there IS a good chance they will ask again, if they want oyu bad enough, that and they might be more willing to work with the family thing if you turn them down.

BTW- Congrats on being a responsible and caring father. I know some people who would jump at the $$ regardless of what would happen to their familes. You're a good dad DM

 

[Erzengel]

There are some parents and people out there that think that how much you spend on someone equates to amount of love you have for them.

The whole well I'm working this many hours and never spending time with you because I want to be able to buy you everything you want.

 

[sinewave]

money doesn't always equal happiness. it sounds like you might be leaning towards keeping your practice. sure, you might get rich with this other firm, but it might not be worth the loss of time to spend with your daughter. it's a tough call but i'd say keep your firm if you're doing well enough to get by. you'll get much more satisfaction out of having that legacy to pass on to your daughter and being able to spend time with her.

 

[D.Rex]

I have an experiance that might offer a little advice. When I was 11 my father was offered a position with a large corporation. He would have made triple the money he was making at the time but work more hours and have to take many business trips all over the country quite often. My family wasn't poor but we certainly weren't rich. Anyway he had to make the same chioce you had to make. Take a job that offers a lot more money and lose time with his children or keep on with what your doing. He chose to keep his current job and I was most thankful for that. The time I got to spend with him that I would have lost had he took the other job. The between him being there to teach me and help me practice football (which later resulted in him being there to see me score touchdowns and have great games in high school) to just offering life advice my father has been there and it meant a lot to me and I'd rather have him there than have more money anyday. So speaking from a point of view of your daughter I'd say keep on doing what your doing because if you're asking a question like this you're mostly likely doing a great job. If she is anything like I was she'd rather have you than a little more money. Don't worry you'll find a way for college when that time comes. But she's only five so thats a long time away and you have a lot of time to spend with her that you won't want to miss.

 

[Silver Sable]

I really don't know what to say but choose what you believe what's right for you

 

[tzarinna]

You got a lot of really good advice. If your happy I'd say stay where you are. There are so many pros and cons. It seems the cons so far out weigh the pros.
But you said that they will leave you alone, 'promise' as long as you brought in the dough.
It's really an honor to immediately be brought in as a partner, speaks wonders/volumes about you and your potential/abilties. I think you can really go some where on your on. They see it and that's why they are offering such a 'phat' deal, hmmm.
How much time will you be losing with your daugther? We know she's your heart.
It's really a tough choice, I don't envy you.

I'm sure you'll make the best decision for you and your daughter.

 

[Superman]

I can't say much more than what's been said already other than if it was me I'd stay where I was and turn down the offer. At five your daughter needs you more IMO.

In the end though it's really up to you and what you feel is right. It's your life and you shouldn't base any big decision like this on the advice from strangers on a message board.

 

[The Last Meatbag]

What will secure a better future for you and your family?

 

[wiegeabo]

Tough choice.

But life is much more important than work. So unless the money is really good (compensating the home time you'll be losing, and time with your daughter during her formative years), and you'll still have time at home, it's not worth it.

The thing with the new job is that the salary and autonomy sound great. And if it includes benefits, very nice. If the possibility of leaving the larger firm after a few years exists, then it may very well be wort it. You can put together a nice bankroll, gain some valuable large firm experience, and have a nice boost to your resume. Then you could reopen your own firm, with a nice bank account, and may have an easier time attracting new (high paying) clients due to your time at the other firm.

 

[Super_Ludacris]

I think some of you are missing the point. Its more than just more money a Law Firm forming a partnership into a larger firm results in more oppurtunites for him careerwise and a larger clientbase. And the most important thing is you spread the cost of liability and share in the descion-making process. I would go for it from a professional aspect.

 

[jaguarr]

I think some of you are missing the point. Its more than just more money a Law Firm forming a partnership into a larger firm results in more oppurtunites for him careerwise and a larger clientbase. And the most important thing is you spread the cost of liability and share in the descion-making process. I would go for it from a professional aspect.

I don't think anyone is debating the professional aspects of this (other than whether he is willing to step away from the practice and legacy that he has built thus far). It's more of a quality of life issue and whether he's willing to make trade-offs that will impact his family on personal levels in the name of pursuing a professional aspiration.

jag

 

[Super_Ludacris]

I don't think anyone is debating the professional aspects of this (other than whether he is willing to step away from the practice and legacy that he has built thus far). It's more of a quality of life issue and whether he's willing to make trade-offs that will impact his family on personal levels in the name of pursuing a professional aspiration.

jag

Yeah duh what do you think a partnership would do for him? Currently he's running the place on his own, so as it is he might be not be seeing his Daughter as much as he wants to especially considering the long hours Lawyers work and meeting with clients.

At least in a partnership it may not be that big of a change in time off but there will be less pressure comparativley. On top of that he'll get more money, which means he can support his daughter better (get a Nanny or something). So this way even if he has still work a lot in the partnership (which by the way having that kinda hands on creative control over his firm is major) but at least he knows his girl is well off. And that makes his personal life more easy going cause it elivates stress.

 

[jaguarr]

Yeah duh what do you think a partnership would do for him? Currently he's running the place on his own, so as it is he might be not be seeing his Daughter as much as he wants to especially considering the long hours Lawyers work and meeting with clients.

At least in a partnership it may not be that big of a change in time off but there will be less pressure comparativley. On top of that he'll get more money, which means he can support his daughter better (get a Nanny or something). So this way even if he has still work a lot in the partnership (which by the way having that kinda hands on creative control over his firm is major) but at least he knows his girl is well off. And that makes his personal life more easy going cause it elivates stress.

Yeah, duh, when you own your own business you can set your own hours and therefore spend more time with your daughter. When you work for the largest lawfirm in the country, your free time and flexibility kind of go down. A lot.

jag

 

[Corinthian™]

Well, DM, there is more elements to this equation then you seem to offer. It is hard to tell without some pointers. What I think is the following.

Think as a lawyer and try to exploit the advantages of that. Make your own name and some clients and then, maybe in a couple of years, re-start your firm. You can still keep some of them clients if they have seen you work.

However, there's your daughter. It will be harder to manage... UNLESS, you make her into some kind of slave of your own and have her around the office and maybe use her to your advantage. Nothing makes you win a case when a 5 year old girl has a gun pointing at the witness

however, it is your choice. I tell ya, 5 year old are dangerous.

 

[Leto Atrides]

How much time you have with her now, and how much you would have in the new position? If you would only be spending a few more hours a week at work, I think the finacial benefits would be worth it. If your home a good bit of the day now, and you would be coming home at all hours of the night in the new firm, no way.

So ultimately, it depends on how much less time you would have with her. As much as you care about even moments, if it is not too much time, it may be worth it for her future.

 

[Super_Ludacris]

Yeah, duh, when you own your own business you can set your own hours and therefore spend more time with your daughter. When you work for the largest lawfirm in the country, your free time and flexibility kind of go down. A lot.

jag

But he's being offered a Partnership. Do you know how major that is in the legislation industry? I did Company Law as part of my business studies course and when we were talking about the differt formations of companies and law firms one of the key advantages is that as a partner he can be on a board or co-runner and make influential desicions on how this big law firm runs things and get a symbiotic relationship in influencing the board. Plus he might get things like assets and get to earn a larger commisson representing larger clients and all that legacy and experience he earnt on his own goes to a larger framework.

And who says because its his business he has flexible hours? Does he? Dude he's the Sole Proprietor of his business, meaning he's running things from a managerial and ownership aspect himself. And that means more hours and more self-finance. At least in a partnership (which can be anything from 2-20 people) the load is lightened.

Yeah it sucks what he built can be taking down, but he earnt his rep as a lawyer and that can be carried on to a larger framework. Of course there's disadvantage ("the big fish in the small pond now going to the ocean" mentality and inertia of joining a new business) but the negatives seem to be outweighed here.

Ya feel me?

 

[jaguarr]

But he's being offered a Partnership. Do you know how major that is in the legislation industry? I did Company Law as part of my business studies course and when we were talking about the differt formations of companies and law firms one of the key advantages is that as a partner he can be on a board or co-runner and make influential desicions on how this big law firm runs things and get a symbiotic relationship in influencing the board. Plus he might get things like assets and get to earn a larger commisson representing larger clients and all that legacy and experience he earnt on his own goes to a larger framework.

And who says because its his business he has flexible hours? Does he? Dude he's the Sole Proprietor of his business, meaning he's running things from a managerial and ownership aspect himself. And that means more hours and more self-finance. At least in a partnership (which can be anything from 2-20 people) the load is lightened.

Yeah it sucks what he built can be taking down, but he earnt his rep as a lawyer and that can be carried on to a larger framework. Of course there's disadvantage ("the big fish in the small pond now going to the ocean" mentality and inertia of joining a new business) but the negatives seem to be outweighed here.

Ya feel me?

Actually, I do know how big of a deal a partnership in a large firm is. But he already said in his first post that he is able to spend as much time as he wants with his daughter because he can set his own hours. He didn't say whether he had someone helping him with research and billing and the like, though, so he might not have as heavy a workload as you're assuming. All I'm saying is that, with the big money in corporate land comes a lot of responsibility and a lot of time required of you in exchange. That's the struggle he's having, because I think he knows he'll have to give up quite a bit of time with his daughter that he currently has today because of his current situation if he takes the position. It's why he posed the question in the first place. For some, the negatives of giving up time with one's family FAR outweigh the promise of more money and prestige. Ya know?

jag

 

[Abaddon]

Spend time with your daughter now,before she grows up and doesn't feel like being around you.

 

[Super_Ludacris]

But again if your in a partnership your virtually on a board. Immeaditly he's being put into a more supportive structure even if he's not his boss. I mean he's gotta accept that fact that either way its gonna be difficult, because as a sole owner it is so difficult to have flexible working hours (maybe that's why he's had ups and downs with it more than the usual fluctuation performance of a business). But in a partnership he's getting support so it eases the transaction and that helps at home.

That's why I asked him if he has got to reasses his current financial health of his firm in comparison to the prospects of the large firm. He should and then look at it and re-evaluate. But if everything fine then take it. I mean he's being offered a partnership how can you really say so? Your going from your own small firm to the top of a bigger one. Now you can build a legacy on a larger scale and his daughter can start in the profession easily by following his footsteps into the firm.

 

[jaguarr]

But again if your in a partnership your virtually on a board. Immeaditly he's being put into a more supportive structure even if he's not his boss. I mean he's gotta accept that fact that either way its gonna be difficult, because as a sole owner it is so difficult to have flexible working hours (maybe that's why he's had ups and downs with it more than the usual fluctuation performance of a business). But in a partnership he's getting support so it eases the transaction and that helps at home.

That's why I asked him if he has got to reasses his current financial health of his firm in comparison to the prospects of the large firm. He should and then look at it and re-evaluate. But if everything fine then take it. I mean he's being offered a partnership how can you really say so? Your going from your own small firm to the top of a bigger one. Now you can build a legacy on a larger scale and his daughter can start in the profession easily by following his footsteps into the firm.

Really comes down to him deciding what's going to be most important to him and making his decisions based on that, taking all things into consideration.

jag

 

[Super_Ludacris]

And I would go for it. Especially for his daughter in the long term. Financially he can get her through college and law school and then she can begin her apprentinceship in the law firm and that much more smoother a transaction to start a professional legal career than going straight into managing and running the family business with X amount of support regardless of how hard he's built it and I'm sure he has done an incredible job with it but he built that law firm the law firm didnt build him. He has to look at this as a reward for running his own company now he's at the top of a bigger firm.

 

[jaguarr]

And I would go for it. Especially for his daughter in the long term. Financially he can get her through college and law school and then she can begin her apprentinceship in the law firm and that much more smoother a transaction to start a professional legal career than going straight into managing and running the family business with X amount of support regardless of how hard he's built it and I'm sure he has done an incredible job with it but he built that law firm the law firm didnt build him. He has to look at this as a reward for running his own company now he's at the top of a bigger firm.

I dunno. I work for a big company. It's not all it's cracked up to be. If I had a daughter (and someday, I might), I'd probably be looking to find the right balance between being able to live comfortably and ensure her future and education (as well as my retirement) and being able to spend as much time as I can with her. Once she grows up, you can never go back and make up for lost time.

jag

 

[Addendum]

Choose the one that won't lead to this at dinner:

"Daddy, why don't we have food on the table?"

 

[wiegeabo]

What about:

"Daddy, why don't you ever come home for dinner anymore?"

 

[jaguarr]

Choose the one that won't lead to this at dinner:

"Daddy, why don't we have food on the table?"

OR this:

"Babysitter, do you know when my daddy is going to be home? I haven't seen him for two days."

jag