Silliest Cases of Bad Science?

[RockSP]

Off the top of my head, my favorite is still Robert Frank, the Whizzer. He's bitten by a cobra, and his scientist father figures injecting his son with mongoose blood will save him. Mongoose eat snakes, after all. Not only does it completely work, it grants Frank super-speed powers! Enough to run up walls, over water, and make cyclones. And fight Nazi's. And here I thought having poisonous animal venom and animal blood injected into you would just kill you.

Now, it was 1941 and a lot of superhero origin stories involve some "fantastic" science or magic or something, but this to me always stood out.

Damn...that's gotta be one of the silliest ever. If he became Cobra-Mongoose Man, I could maybe kinda sorta see it. But superspeed?

 

[Dread]

So do most people, which is exactly why all that bad science becomes accepted. People aren't looking for scientific journals in their superhero comics. A good ability to suspend disbelief is a prerequisite for reading them.

I have that. I just provided Whizzer's origin because it always amused me. It isn't a huge deal.

 

[wobbly]

Superman pushing planets....Or any uber strong guy lifting any very heavy object that would simply collapse/crumble around their hands.

 

[wobbly]

Practically every single origin in the golden age that gave people abilities with radiation, including Captain Americas "Vita-Ray" treatment...

That also covers the Fantastic Four, the Hulk, Daredevil and Spider-Man (to name just a few).

 

[BLACKVULCAN]

HAHA i cant Suspend belief that some dude is walking around calling himself the"WHIZZER". that has got to truly be one of the worst names this side of "RULK"

Anyways i dont care how good of a Beverly hills plastic surgeon you are, or the Movie "Soul Man" would have you to believe. there is no way in hell to change your pigmentation from Caucasian to African-American like the Punisher did in the early 90's. when he was trying to escape some hoods after him.Even for a comic book that was out there! But it did lead to him and Luke hanging out. which i dug for awhile, but i still laugh my ass off at.

 

[BrianWilly]

I'm going to go with my all time favorite bull**** comic book anything: Wanda Maximoff's mutant ability to affect molecular probability fields.

...

...

...What?

It's so bull**** that they eventually just changed it to her controlling magic.

Except that she's still a mutant. Soooo...her genetic evolution is that she can use magic better.

But then there's no such thing as chaos magic.

So she just changes reality now.

Good work, all.

 

[KevanG]

That also covers the Fantastic Four, the Hulk, Daredevil and Spider-Man (to name just a few).

Yep, pretty much.

DD: Radioactive waste in the eyes makes you blind... understandable but the whole Sonar abilities thing?

FF: Cosmic radiation gives you a 75% chance of having awesome superpowers with a 25% chance of nasty side-effects

Hulk: When you get hit with alot of radiation if you have MPD (multiple personality disorder) you become a unstoppable monster when you get angry (or when it's night out), if you don't have any major mental disorders you will likely just have part or all of your body turn green and gain some sort of enhancements. (Leader, Doc Samson, ect...).

And finally if you're a "dirty commie" you turn into a monster so watch you're political affiliations when playing with radiation.

There's more but I'd rather not go into them

 

[Lucien]

Doesn't the Celestial tampering with the human genome make humans more likely to survive and gain powers from radiation? Or is that just Earth X?

 

[Manic]

Superman pushing planets....Or any uber strong guy lifting any very heavy object that would simply collapse/crumble around their hands.

The idea of Superman pushing the Earth out of the way of a comet or something always bothered me. They always made it look like the planet Superman was pushing was just some big rock, but Superman isn't a giant whose hands cover a huge surface area. From the perspective of anyone else, it'd look like Superman was doing a hand-stand. He'd literally just be pushing on the ground. Stuff like that doesn't move planets. It punches a hole in the ground.

I'm going to go with my all time favorite bull**** comic book anything: Wanda Maximoff's mutant ability to affect molecular probability fields.

...

...

...What?

It's so bull**** that they eventually just changed it to her controlling magic.

Except that she's still a mutant. Soooo...her genetic evolution is that she can use magic better.

But then there's no such thing as chaos magic.

So she just changes reality now.

Good work, all.

I like to think that Wanda's mutant ability is basically the Infinite Improbability Drive in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It's no less ridiculous than "alters probability fields," but it's a lot easier to sum up than the confusing chaos magic thing. Wanda causes outlandish 1,000,000:1 things to become 1:1.

 

[Kitsune]

The idea of Superman pushing the Earth out of the way of a comet or something always bothered me. They always made it look like the planet Superman was pushing was just some big rock, but Superman isn't a giant whose hands cover a huge surface area. From the perspective of anyone else, it'd look like Superman was doing a hand-stand. He'd literally just be pushing on the ground. Stuff like that doesn't move planets. It punches a hole in the ground.

I still love the idea that Superman moving the planet would look like he was doing a handstand.

 

[Manic]

Anyways i dont care how good of a Beverly hills plastic surgeon you are, or the Movie "Soul Man" would have you to believe. there is no way in hell to change your pigmentation from Caucasian to African-American like the Punisher did in the early 90's. when he was trying to escape some hoods after him.Even for a comic book that was out there! But it did lead to him and Luke hanging out. which i dug for awhile, but i still laugh my ass off at.

There was this one reality show. I forget the name of it, and I didn't catch more than one episode of it. Anyway, the premise of the show was to take two families (one black, one white) and put prosthetics on them to make each family look like the other's race. They then relocated the families and made the white family see what it was like to be black, and the black family see what it was like to be white.

Turns out the visual differences between the faces of black and white people extends way beyond skin color. The black family just looked like a bunch of albino black people, and the white family looked more Subcontinental Asian than African.

So even if the Punisher did find a way to change his pigmentation, I highly doubt he'd look like a black man. Not without some plastic surgery and a perm.

 

[Kitsune]

HAHA i cant Suspend belief that some dude is walking around calling himself the"WHIZZER". that has got to truly be one of the worst names this side of "RULK"

Anyways i dont care how good of a Beverly hills plastic surgeon you are, or the Movie "Soul Man" would have you to believe. there is no way in hell to change your pigmentation from Caucasian to African-American like the Punisher did in the early 90's. when he was trying to escape some hoods after him.Even for a comic book that was out there! But it did lead to him and Luke hanging out. which i dug for awhile, but i still laugh my ass off at.

With Blue eyes? I'm not quite sure this would work without contacts or something

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

I'm going to go with my all time favorite bull**** comic book anything: Wanda Maximoff's mutant ability to affect molecular probability fields.

...

...

...What?

It's so bull**** that they eventually just changed it to her controlling magic.

Except that she's still a mutant. Soooo...her genetic evolution is that she can use magic better.

But then there's no such thing as chaos magic.

So she just changes reality now.

Good work, all.

I wouldn't call it too bad.


My favourite case of bad science though? Getting bombarded by extremely fatal cosmic rays, which go on to give you silicone based structures in a body which previously did not have them. Or allow you to destroy physics with invisibility, or allow you to burn without any viable fuel source, while at the same time not burning your own body. Stretchability is the easiest one to "believe". But I digress, cosmic rays = death.

 

[Midnyte_Sun]

I think almost every origin story would qualify for this thread.

That's right. Every Mutant also falls under the category of bad science. From Cyclops shooting energy blasts from his eyeballs (anatomically he should have a generator in his brain), to Storm controlling weather and all its inherent properties by her thoughts. It also seems as writers started learning more about a particular science, the mutant's powers also inherently grew. Magneto for one. From what I remember he had the wacky science power to control ferrous objects with his mind , but now he can control every aspect of electromagnetism, create EMP's, wormholes, etc.

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

Well, for Cyclops, he absorbs solar energy, and redirects it as optic blasts. The only -real- problem is storing it. For Storm, she apparently would utilized a psychic control effect which would probably cascade into the much larger effects we see, the problems with that being obvious. For Magneto, it's just more or less the extension of his already existing electrical nervous system, though, the problems with that are also evident.

I wouldn't say mutants are the worst of it, except for those who manipulate reality and crap.

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

Mysterious Double Post

 

[Captain Useless]

It's strange that nobody who received any kind of radiation became Cancer-Man or Third Degree Burns-Man.

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

Asbestos Man and Asbestos Girl got cancer.

 

[Manic]

Has an agreement been reached as to how Spider-Man sticks to walls? Through his gloves and shoes?

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

Magic.

 

[The Question]

Has an agreement been reached as to how Spider-Man sticks to walls? Through his gloves and shoes?

Two explanations I heard:

1: Weird magnetic ********.

2: He has sticky/pointy fiber things growing from his skin just like in the movie, and his costume's boot's are essentially socks. When he's wearing thicker shoes, he mostly relies on his hands and the natural traction of the soles of his shoes.

 

[wobbly]

Re: Spider-man's sticking to walls through his gloves and boots....

I remember an issue many years back that suggested (though never explictly stated) it was some form of extended static electricity. See, Electro apparently figured out this was how the sticking worked, did some whammy on all the electrical fields in the vicinity and Spidey fell off the wall he was climbing.

I don't think the idea ever stuck though as I cant recall any other writer referencing it. Obvious problem with the idea is static electricity wouldn't help him stick to brick walls (or pretty much any wall) at all.

 

[wobbly]

It's strange that nobody who received any kind of radiation became Cancer-Man or Third Degree Burns-Man.

Rick Jones exposed himself to Gamma radiation (via the same machine Bruce used to use early on to change into the Hulk) and got terminal cancer (the Beyonder cured him later on).

 

[GyLocke]

I don't have a problem with Bad Science, if they stick to it - if they declare: that's how this universe works. There was this Hulk video game, where they explained: Gamma radiation manifests your psychological problems - your negative self image if you're a male, you're idalized image if you are a woman. - That's cool, it works, but if they stick to it, in that universe there shouldn't be two identical Hulks running around. (I don't know how Gamma radiation is said to work in the MU, but I guess differently.)

I liked how Bryne tried to explain Superman's powers for example: "from absorved yellow sunlight his aura acts as a force field (so his cape can get damaged) this force field extends to the things he touches, so he can lift without breaking". Stuff like that. You have the premise "yellow sun gives them superpowers" but now stick to it.
Let us see pre explosion Kryptonians heal themselves with yellow sun-lamps in thier hospitals, maybe experimenting with sun light based superpowers before the end. Show ancient cave Kryptonians who evolved to absorb yellow sunlight and flew away. Play a little with Solar flares messing up those powers. Little touches to make the silly explanations more believable. At the end of the day, it's the cape that helps Superman fly, but for a narrative to make sense, you must have some rules and stick to them.

In the MU radiation works differently, it gives you powers sometimes. They shouldn't try to retcon that, it would just make a whole unresolved mess (see Totem Spidey for more information).

 

[GyLocke]

I didn't even double click, but I'll use this double post, to declare Black Punisher is hillarious.