Spider-Man Caption Thread.

[Arcturus]

Uncle Ben: I'd like to talk to you about diabetes.

Peter: Ugh. Every time we watch television and you see a special on some disease or something, you always get it in your head that you're sick.

Uncle Ben: You never know...

Peter: Last week it was cancer! Today it's diabetes. What? Tomorrow you'll get shot?

 

[ultimatefan]

UNCLE BEN: With great power, comes great responsibility!
PETER: And that is an important life lesson that will guide me through life, right Uncle Ben?
UNCLE BEN: Nah, it will screw up your studying, your jobs, your friendships and your love life, but hey, it´s a helluva catch phrase!

 

[LostMind]

Uncle Ben: "Peter, life does not always make sense. Sometimes you have a blonde playing a redhead and a redhead playing a blonde. "

 

[Arcturus]

Spider-Man: The Later Years

 

[Panthro]

Uncle Ben: "Peter, life does not always make sense. Sometimes you have a blonde playing a redhead and a redhead playing a blonde. "

Bwahahahahahaha

 

[ultimatefan]

FAVORITE RUDE ANSWERS TO ANNOYING TELEMARKETERS:

Wow, how did you guess? It happens I just chopped my wife to pieces with a chainsaw and there´s blood splatter all over my apartment, so yeah, your carpet cleaner is EXACTLY what I need! Do you take Visa?

Wait, I´m recognizing that voice... MC Hammer! Tough Times, huh.?

Wow, your timing is impeccable! Right now, in the middle of one of America´s worst economic meltdowns ever, is the PERFECT time for me to buy junk I don´t really need for a price I can´t really afford! just let me make my fourth mortgage...

(an old Seinfeld classic...)

PETER: I can´t talk to you right now, but how about this: I get your phone number and call you later.
TELEMARKETER: I can´t do that.
PETER: So you don´t want people calling you at home.
TELEMARKETER: Right.
PETER: So now you know how I feel! (hangs the phone)

 

[Panthro]

FAVORITE RUDE ANSWERS TO ANNOYING TELEMARKETERS:

Wow, how did you guess? It happens I just chopped my wife to pieces with a chainsaw and there´s blood splatter all over my apartment, so yeah, your carpet cleaner is EXACTLY what I need! Do you take Visa?

Wait, I´m recognizing that voice... MC Hammer! Tough Times, huh.?

Wow, your timing is impeccable! Right now, in the middle of one of America´s worst economic meltdowns ever, is the PERFECT time for me to buy junk I don´t really need for a price I can´t really afford! just let me make my fourth mortgage...

(an old Seinfeld classic...)

PETER: I can´t talk to you right now, but how about this: I get your phone number and call you later.
TELEMARKETER: I can´t do that.
PETER: So you don´t want people calling you at home.
TELEMARKETER: Right.
PETER: So now you know how I feel! (hangs the phone)

Bwahahahahahaha! All those were great, especially the Seinfeld one.

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks a lot!

 

[Doctor Jones]

Dammit, UF, I was gonna do that Seinfeld one! Nice though.

 

[Doctor Jones]

SPIDER-MAN: I saw those ships smashed on the rocks. How can this be?
CAPTAIN AMERICA: We saw but a fraction of the monster that is Xerxes' army.
SPIDER-MAN: There can be no victory here. Why do you smile?
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Arcadian, I've fought countless times, yet I've never met an adversary who could offer me what we Spartans call "A Beautiful Death." I can only hope, with all the world's warriors gathered against us, there might be one down there who's up to the task.

 

[ultimatefan]

Great minds think alike, Doc! Love that 300 quote.

 

[ultimatefan]

TOBEY: For the last frikking time, Robert, I loved our scene in Tropic Thunder too, but it´s not gonna happen, I´m straight! What the hell you mean, "I must be joking?"

 

[Panthro]

TOBEY: For the last frikking time, Robert, I loved our scene in Tropic Thunder too, but it´s not gonna happen, I´m straight! What the hell you mean, "I must be joking?"

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

 

[Panthro]

SPIDER-MAN: I saw those ships smashed on the rocks. How can this be?
CAPTAIN AMERICA: We saw but a fraction of the monster that is Xerxes' army.
SPIDER-MAN: There can be no victory here. Why do you smile?
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Arcadian, I've fought countless times, yet I've never met an adversary who could offer me what we Spartans call "A Beautiful Death." I can only hope, with all the world's warriors gathered against us, there might be one down there who's up to the task.

Hehehe, great use of 300.

SPIDER-MAN: "We don't have to be adversaries, Cap. We both want a fair union contract."
CAPTAIN AMERICA[thinking]: "Why is Spidey being so nice to me?"
SPIDEY: "And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."
CAP [thinking: "Wait a minute, is he coming on to me?"
SPIDEY: "I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?"
CAP [thinking]: "Oh my God he *is* coming on to me!"
SPIDEY: "After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows." [chuckles, winks behind mask]
CAP: [thinking]: "AH!"
[brief pause]
CAPTAIN AMERICA: "Sorry Spider-Man, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!"

SPIDER-MAN: "I know what you're thinking. I want to take the pressure off. Now, it doesn't take a `whiz' to know that you're looking out for `Number One'. Well, listen to me, and you'll make a big splash very soon."
CAPTAIN AMERICA [thinking]: "Oh, man. I have to go to the bathroom. Why did I have all that beer and coffee and watermelon?"

SPIDER-MAN: "What the Hell happened to us? What happened to the American dream?"
CAPTAIN AMERICA: "It came true. You're looking at it."

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks, Panthro! Love the Simpsons quotes!

 

[ultimatefan]

CAPTAIN AMERICA:Why are all those fanboys standing at the top of buildings?
SPIDEY: They will commit collective suicide if WB casts a metrossexual teen magazine cover pretty boy as Hal Jordan.
CAP: I see. Hope they´ll do the same for me.
SPIDEY: I´m sure they will, my friend. I´m sure they will.

 

[Eddy Brock Jr.]

Peter: I love You Eddie.
Eddie: Call us VENOM honey!!!

 

[Panthro]

CAPTAIN AMERICA:Why are all those fanboys standing at the top of buildings?
SPIDEY: They will commit collective suicide if WB casts a metrossexual teen magazine cover pretty boy as Hal Jordan.
CAP: I see. Hope they´ll do the same for me.
SPIDEY: I´m sure they will, my friend. I´m sure they will.

hehehehehehehehehehe

 

[Arcturus]

...

*Sniffle*

Terminator: I now know why you cry.

 

[Panthro]

...

*Sniffle*

Terminator: I now know why you cry.

Hehehehehehehehe

 

[Panthro]

SPIDER-MAN: "Hey look, down there, some common low tech muggers, shouldn't we-"
CAPTAIN AMERICA: "Nah, we only fight dumb schmuchs in Halloween costumes."

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks, Panthro! The Terminator one is genius.

 

[ultimatefan]

UNCLE BEN: Look kid, it´s okay you didn´t go to the library and won money on wresting and didn´t stop the burglar and he killed me, but for the love of God, no f***ing emo look and no lame John Travolta impression, that makes me spin in my grave!

 

[ultimatefan]

What, I´m supposed to be the superhero that Americans can relate to, remember?

 

[Arcturus]

Spider-Man: I realize that we're free falling to our deaths but I have to ask you a question.

Venom: Yes?

Spider-Man: Did you switch toothpastes?

Venom: Why yes I did! And you noticed as well. I am so thrilled! I also floss now, too.

Spider-Man: Yeah your breath doesn't smell like taco chips and brains anymore.

Venom: Thankyou!