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Stupid People Doing Stupid Things Thread

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Naked Man Dives Through Open Sunroof, Attacks Driver

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Last week, a Dallas resident filmed a shocking daytime attack involving a crazed naked man and an open sunroof.

When Marcus Payne looked out his apartment window Friday afternoon, he spotted a man sitting naked on the street below. Payne, of course, decided to film the nude man.

In Payne's video, obtained by WFFA, the naked man can be seen walking around before disappearing around a corner. When the man comes back into frame, he approaches a passing car.

From WFAA:

Nude and with no fear, the man slid arms-first into the open sunroof of a woman's car.

"A naked man jumped in," she told us, asking us to protect her identity. "He jumped in my car and he started attacking me."
The car skidded and eventually crashed into a pole. Police, who'd been called earlier, rushed to the scene and pulled the man from the car.

"I don't know how much longer that attack would have lasted if [the police] weren't there," the woman said, adding that more than $3,000 damage worth of damage was done to her car.

The naked man was arrested and taken to hospital. Police–and everyone who's seen the tape–suspects he was on drugs.

http://cdn.bimvid.com/WFAA/186c1aff059d9fe6f8746005c1b969245d5fa4e3_fl9-360p.mp4

I'm gonna say bath salts or spice, probably bath salts though. I bet that freaked that lady driver out though
 
Guy No Longer In Love With Stripper Sues to Get Harry Potter DVDs Back

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A software developer who claims he gave a bunch of his stuff to a stripper because they were in a "dating relationship" is suing for the return of, among other things, his collection of Harry Potter DVDs.

Robert Wallace, 32, says he broke up with exotic dancer Nomi Mims on May 3, and then waited a week for her to give him back the things he lent her—$2,000, a laptop, and the aforementioned DVDs—before taking legal action.

Mims says she "really likes him as a friend," and the items and cash were gifts, not loans.

"I don't believe in loans because I don't want to pay anybody back," she told FOX 26. "I've given him gifts too. You know, how do I get my booty and boobs back?"

"No refunds in the strip club," she added. "I've even had people come up in there asking, 'Oh, can I get a dance,' and they'll pay me back next week. We ain't got no layaway plans either."

It's tragic to see a loving, genuine connection between people come to such a bitter end.

"I did kind of see it possibly ending this way," Wallace said.

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/story/25541737/32-year-old-houston-man-sues-stripper

I've hooked up with plenty of strippers and there are plenty of good ones out there but never start a relationship with one you met while she is working. It's all about the dollar bills man, you don't want to be this guy:

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Infamous Club Kid Murderer Cried While Eating a Cronut

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If you were released from prison after serving 17 years for murdering your friend, what would you really want to do upon experiencing freedom? Would "eating a cronut" be in the top 5,000? No? Well, you are not ex-New York club fixture Michael Alig, who literally cried while eating the pastry the other day.

Alig—who was portrayed by Macaulay Culkin in the movie Party Monster—was brought cronuts by the blog Bedford + Bowery, and, well, let's just let them take it from here:

Toward the end of our time together we present Alig with a box of cronuts, having read that trying one was one of the first things he wanted to do after his release. We'd assumed that he'd already had one during his first few days out, but he hadn't, and upon opening the box he burst into tears.

"Obviously I want this, but I just don't feel like I deserve it. I mean, it would be horrible not to eat it, but I just feel so awful."

He ate the decadent pastry in between sobs and revealed that he was tempted to not even come back to New York after his release, but that his parole stipulations made it not a possibility. "First of all I had to come back, plus I don't know where else I could survive," says Alig. "Los Angeles is so superficial. I mean, New York is, too, but at least here we have a sense of humor about it."
Then again, Los Angeles didn't trick prisoners into thinking that eating a croissant-donut hybrid was an important thing to do, so let's call this one a draw.

http://bedfordandbowery.com/2014/05/michael-aligs-bittersweet-return-to-the-limelight/

No way this POS deserves to be eating anything good, should still be locked up if you ask me. What he did to his friend was reprehensible
 
Alaska Candidate: "I'd Probably Invade ANWR" For Oil and "Martyrdom"

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In the Land of the Midnight Sun, the last frontier, the land of Sarah Palin, it's hard to distinguish oneself from the crowd of conservative anti-government candidates for government office. But Dan Sullivan has a plan: Take over federal parklands, drill for oil, and maybe get heroically shot.

Sullivan, who's running for lieutenant governor of America's biggest state, thinks it's unfair that Cliven Bundy gets to have all that yee-haw fun by himself down in the lower 48, according to KRBD (emphasis added):

And as a fourth-generation Alaskan, Sullivan said he'd be an enthusiastic ambassador for the state. Part of that would be fighting for Alaska's state rights. He said that includes getting the 20 million acres that's still owed to the state from the federal government, and controlling the state's resources.

"One of the things I've suggested, too, is that if I was governor today, I'd probably invade ANWR," he said. "What are they going to do, shoot you? Well, they might. But martyrdom goes a long way sometimes."

He was referring to the longstanding debate over whether to allow oil exploration in parts of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.
It's an ironclad argument, really. The federal government, which bought Alaska from Russia (bypassing those pesky natives), and helped build the infrastructure that makes Alaska's profitable oil trade possible—which ultimately makes individual Alaskans' annual state dividend checks possible—owes Alaskans, dammit. And that's why Alaskans need to take all those pristine national parks and wildlife refuges back, like with force, and maybe get shot along the way, but hey, martyrdom in the Alaskan cause is great, just great.

http://www.krbd.org/2014/05/14/lt-governor-candidate-dan-sullivan-touring-southeast/

Ugh, I can't even comment on how stupid this guy is
 
So he wants to destroy nature preserves for oil and he relishes the idea of getting killed doing so? Does he have an actual understanding of life and death?
 
High Elf, High on Acid, Attacks Woman's BMW With a Sword

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Portland, Ore. police responded to a 911 call at around 7 a.m. Tuesday morning from a woman who believed her car was under attack by a pirate. But instead of a routine pirate attack—oh, Portland—they discovered an armored man who claimed he was a High Elf.

He was at least half right. Although the man, dressed in chain mail and helmet, and equipped with sword, staff, and shield, wasn't actually an elf, he was definitely high.

Konrad Bass, 30, of Glendale, Ore., told officers he had taken LSD, and also identified himself as a "high-elf engaged in battle with the evil Morgoth." He was cited for criminal mischief and taken to a hospital.

Morgoth, the original dark lord and master of Sauron in J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings mythology, has at his command various Balrogs, rivers of fire, and, apparently, BMWs (the official car of the Dark Enemy and sponsor of the last battle).

The car survived the encounter, although police say it was left with several puncture marks.

Update: In an interview with Vocativ, Bass explained, "I wasn't in my right mind. I was still rocking my new pair of elf ears."

He mistook the car for a shapeshifting demon.

"I hopped on her hood and tried to pierce her tires with my master sword. I was trying to prove a point. Don't mess with a dark elf," he said.

Bass is also involved in Live Action Roleplaying (shocking!) and writes fantasy novels under the name Konrad McKane. Last time he dropped acid, he turned into a dragon.

http://www.katu.com/news/local/Woma...ntified-high-elf-battling-evil-259598811.html

Uncle Cid and broad swords don't mix children
 
Teen Escapes Arrest By Rappelling Down Hotel With Bedsheets

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Teen achievement unlocked: a 16-year-old Colorado Springs boy described by police as a runaway managed to avoid arrest for credit card theft after rappelling down from the fourth-floor of the Antlers Hilton on a rope made from bedsheets.

The unnamed teen is said to have booked a room at the hotel using a credit card stolen from a relative. The relative alerted police upon noting the unauthorized activity on the card, but police were unable to enter the hotel room until securing a search warrant. By the time the cops barged through the door, the teen had scaled four floors of the hotel and escaped.

He and an acquaintance are believed to have boarded a Greyhound bus. The story, reported by KRDO in Colorado Springs, ends appropriately like a Bourne film:

A warrant has been issued for his arrest, but he has not been found.

The teen's name has not been released.

http://www.krdo.com/news/id-theft-s...rope-made-of-sheets-to-escape-arrest/26081464

This sounds pretty dope until you realize they have his name so it's only a matter of time until this kid lands in juvenile hall
 
70 Men Charged In New York City Child Pornography Case

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In what officials are calling one of the largest cases of its kind, authorities have charged 70 men and one woman in the New York City area for anonymously trading child porn.

The list of people charged runs quite the gamut, according to the Associated Press:

The defendants include a police chief, a paramedic, a rabbi and a Boy Scout leader. Federal officials planned to announce the arrests at a news conference later Wednesday.
The five-week investigation yielded 600 computers, tablets, and smartphones containing a collective 175 terabytes of graphic images.

Authorities launched their investigation following the January arrest of Brian Fanelli, the police chief of Mount Pleasant, NY, for possession of child pornography.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/dozens-charged-child-porn-case-nyc-area-23809047

I hope these sickos enjoy the prison rape
 
France Spent $20 Billion on Trains That Don't Fit Its Stations

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France's national railway operator, SNCF, recently ordered 2,000 new trains at a cost of more than $20 billion. Now, it's found out that they're too big for many of the stations they're supposed to pass through. And this isn't the kind of order you can return.

The Guardian reports that the new trains, known as TERs (trains express regionaux), are too wide to properly pass through one in six of the regional stations they should serve. The reason for the mix up? The national rail operator, RFF, only supplied dimensions for stations built in the last 30 years.

Unsurprisingly, older stations are a little more... compact. Indeed, it was found that they were so narrow that two of the new trains—which are already being built ready for use in 2016— would be unable to pass alongside each other on adjacent lines. A spokesperson from the RFF told The Guardian:

"It's as if you have bought a Ferrari that you want to park in your garage, and you realise that your garage isn't exactly the right size to fit a Ferrari because you didn't have a Ferrari before. We discovered the problem a little late … we are making our mea culpa."
Sadly the mistake was discovered so late that the only solution is to embark on a $70 million operation to enlarge the 1,300 platforms across the country that are too small to accommodate the new trains.

That's a fairly hefty proportion of the 8,700 platforms total in France. Add to that the fact that the trains are supposed to enter service in 2016, and it seems that there's no shortage of engineering work to get underway.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/may/21/french-railway-operator-sncf-orders-trains-too-big

That is a monumental and very costly screw up. I would say that somebody probably lost their job but it's France
 
France Spent $20 Billion on Trains That Don't Fit Its Stations

That is a monumental and very costly screw up. I would say that somebody probably lost their job but it's France

Some will probably be removed from their office, fired not so much, it is a collective mistake and SNCF/RFF presidents will surely not be fired nor removed from office, I think.

Note : the picture looks like a TGV ( hight speed train ) not the ones the article is talking about.
 
Two boys arrested, accused of putting poison in teacher's water bottle

Two New York City fourth-graders were arrested Tuesday after allegedly putting poison in a teacher's water bottle, police said.

The two boys, ages 9 and 12, allegedly poisoned the teacher's water Monday afternoon, causing her to feel nauseated the next day. She was treated by her doctor and is now in good condition, said Sgt. John Buthorn of the New York City Police Department.

The poison is being tested in a lab to determine its content, but it appears to be rat poison, police said.

According to the NYPD, both boys have been charged with attempted second-degree assault, reckless endangerment and criminal possession of a weapon.

Police told CNN that the incident occurred at P.S. 315 in Brooklyn. The public school, also known as the School of Performing Arts, serves 849 students from pre-kindergarten through fifth grade, according to the school's website.

Officials at the school have not responded to CNN's request for comment.

The New York City Department of Education said in a statement that it is "greatly relieved that the teacher is recovering" and that it will "continue to closely monitor this situation."

"Ensuring the safety of our entire schools community is our priority, and while this matter is still under investigation, we will take swift and appropriate action," the statement said.
CNN
 
Senior Faces Graduation Ban for Making Science Joke in Yearbook

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http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/local/student-says-touchy-yearbook-quote-could-ruin-seni/nfzk4/

That is awesome and the stupid people here are the school officials screwing with this girl's graduation. More than 3/4 of the school probably didn't get it and I'm sure someone had to point it out to the officials since I doubt they picked up on it either. Never in my life would I imagine a science joke pisses off a school so much

I know, this girl should be given a medal for being so clever, not be banned.
 
Edit: I see Teelie got the scoop. I blame the sweltering heat in my room with no AC
 
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Teelie beat you to it DJ. You're getting OLD!
 
Catholic School Apologizes for Putting Famous Lesbian on Dance Fliers

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The principal of a Catholic school has apologized to parents for putting a photo of Oscar host and world's famousest lesbian Ellen DeGeneres on an invitation to an Oscars-themed eighth grade graduation dance.

Although Nancy Matteo, principal of St. Andrew Elementary School in Newtown, Penn., didn't explicitly mention Degeneres' sexual orientation, she wrote in an email to parents that it was "completely wrong" to feature Degeneres on the invitation because she "lives her life outside the teachings of the Catholic Church."

Matteo wrote that she was "obviously NOT thinking" when she approved the use of DeGeneres' photo, adding "perhaps I was distracted by the Oscar."

"A role model, as defined by Webster's Dictionary, is a person who is unusually effective or inspiring in some social role, job, position, etc. This does not describe her at all. We work so hard to be good role models and then I go and do something stupid!"
She also demanded that students return the invitations so she can "personally destroy them" before new ones are issued.

The Archdiocese of Philadelphia stood by the recall, saying, "It is expected that any promotional materials developed by these schools would feature images and themes that correspond with their core mission and identity. That approach is logical and our school families have a right to expect it."

Good point. Ellen's never done anything for Catholic schools. St. Andrew should probably have picked a different Oscar host for its invitation, a strong role model who aligns with its mission and identity. Someone like vocal atheist and Cosmos producer Seth "We Saw Your Boobs" MacFarlane.

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/C..._for_Ellen_DeGeneres_photo_on_invitation.html

They should have gone with a good catholic role model, like known bigot Mel Gibson. He's a super catholic! :o
 
"Drunk and Belligerent" Fox News Anchor Arrested in Minnesota Airport

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Fox News weekend anchor Gregg Jarrett was arrested Wednesday afternoon at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport for refusing to cooperate with police. Jarrett, who police say was drunk and belligerent, was released early Thursday morning.

Patrick Hogan, a spokesman for the Metropolitan Airports Commission, told the Star-Tribune that Jarrett was arrested just about 12:30 pm at the Norther Lights Grill in the airport's main terminal.

According to police, Jarrett appeared drunk and belligerently refused to cooperate with their directions. He was arrested and booked into the Hennepin County Jail on a preliminary charge of obstructing the legal process by interfering with a peace officer.

Jarrett was released at about 1:30 am Thursday after his $300 bond was posted.

Last week, Media Bistro reported that Jarrett "requested time off for personal reasons and Fox obliged."

http://www.startribune.com/entertainment/tv/260211551.html

Haha this is hilarious
 
Teacher Fired For Getting Dating Advice From Her Fourth Grade Class

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A New York teacher lost her job this week when school officials found out she had been getting dating advice from her nine-year-old students.

According to DNAinfo, Cassendre Fiering—an actress and substitute teacher—was dating two men at the same time when she realized she had an invaluable resource available to her: a class full of fourth graders.

Investigators say she acted out scenarios in which the kids were her and she was the boyfriends. She complained that the younger boyfriend, a mechanic in Rhode Island, didn't return her phone calls, according to the report.

Students told investigators she called them her "munchkins" and asked her to toilet paper the mechanic's home, according to the report.

The report says Fiering hugged one student, tapped another on his shoulder and touched the thighs of two other students.
The class eventually advised Fiering to break up with her younger, less responsive paramour, although she apparently ignored their sage advice.

"The younger guy was just a weird guy and I never really figured it out," Fiering told DNAinfo this week. "He was very strange and it upset me. He gave a lot of mixed messages. I think I just had to give up."

Fiering was fired from her substitute position at P.S. 189 in the Bronx in December, after a Department of Education investigation concluded she had acted inappropriately.

She plans to appeal the decision, saying the report contains blatant lies and that, "It was also G-rated... I certainly wasn't talking about sex or anything."

http://www.dnainfo.com/new-york/201...ired-for-asking-4th-graders-for-dating-advice

As an adult what possible advice could you hope to get from 9 year olds?
 
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