Deadpool: Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome once again to another edition of “Inside the Mercenaries Studio”, the Oscar winning chat show in which myself, established interviewer and general awesome person take you on a discovery. It is a journey through the life and times of the incredible minds that bring you such fantastic posts that you read here in the many Hype RPGs. Today, we have someone that I myself am very close to. Some have called us non-biological brothers, others have said we are sleeping together. But do you want to know the real truth, viewers? He IS me. That’s right, he climbs into my mind and thinks “What would Deadpool do?”, which is why he’s banned from so many countries! Ladies, gentlemen… Electro UK! Electro UK (Groggily): Mmm… uh… uhhmm… what’s… what’s happening? Where am I? Is this duct tape? DP: The very finest duct tape sir! Walmart duct tape! EUK: Oh I could tell, so smooth on my hands. Whenever I’m being captured, I do love the feeling of Walmart duct tape around my wrists. DP: Yes, yes, in fact viewers I urge you to use Walmart for all your kidnapping needs! Now, where’s my endorsement money? EUK: Last thing I remember… someone hit me round the head with a Croquet bat. DP: Yeah uh… sorry about that, it’s all I had on me at the time. EUK: Wait, how am I talking to you? Where is this place? What am I even doing here? DP (taking a sip from Walmart mug): Electro, welcome to “The Mercenaries Studio”, where you’re being interviewd! EUK: You know you could’ve just asked… This is really your studio? Its nowhere near as cool as I thought it’d be. DP: Well how did you imagine it to be? EUK: Like the Bat-Cave but with more guns and pictures of Bea Arthur. DP: Well I can’t really have a cave. I’d have to call it the “Dead-Cave” and that would bring certain connotations with it. EUK: Fair enough. DP: But anyway, enough of this witty banter. We have to start the interview sometime otherwise we’ll get lost in all this talk. EUK: Speaking of which, did you watch Lost last night? DP: Yeah, well I’m you, of course I did. EUK: Time travel? DP: I know… don’t get me started. Hey! Stop distracting me! You know how easy it is. EUK: And I’m not American, but I’m fairly sure TV shows can get Oscars. DP: You want me to tape up your mouth with some of that warm, cosy Walmart duct tape? EUK: Then how would you interview me? DP: Smartass. EUK: Better than being a dumbass. DP: Is not! EUK: Is too! DP: MOM! Electro’s calling me a dumbass!! Electro UK’s Mother (from upstairs): Electro, stop arguing with that imaginary illegitimate son of mine! EUK: I can’t believe you told. DP: Shut up, we’re getting on with this now. So, you started playing me in Season 3 of the Marvel RPG. What was it like taking on the role of such a complex, 3 dimensional and interesting character, while having to live up to the jokes of the comics and the RPer Priest in Season 1? EUK: Well it was pretty tough I’ll admit. I remember showing my first post to Keyser Soze and praying he’d tell me it was funny. He told me it made him smile, so I thought “Gotta do better than this.” And set about trying to live up to the rep. DP: Yeah, honestly dude, your first post? Not that good. Anyone can make jokes about Jean Grey’s boobs. EUK: Yeah… unfortunately, not everyone can see them though. DP: Damn Cyclops. Damn him to hell. EUK: Well if we’re talking about hot women, then damn Spider-man too. DP: Yeah, Mary-Jane is pretty swinging. EUK: Mary-Jane? I was talking about Gwen. DP: She’s dead. EUK: So? DP: I’m starting to see why you like playing as me… But why did you pick me up? EUK: I think we’d just gotten into the 2 character rule. I had Electro all fine and dandy, I wanted a new challenge. I’d just started buying Cable and Deadpool DP: (Available from all good comic book stores) EUK: and for some strange reason, found you an intriguing character. I’d read about you before in Contest of Marvels 2, and figured “What the hey?”. DP: And from there, the epic relationship has started to bloom. What were some of your favourite posts as me? EUK: Well that’s hard to pick… I dunno I liked the one where you were drunk (even though it was quickly pointed out you can’t get drunk), or when you and Bullseye were at his apartment and the gay guy touched you up, the post where you began your long journey to find Hawkeye. Those are just a few. The Mr. Immortal fight this season was pretty good too. DP: I wasn’t so keen on the gay one, seeing as it you know, happened to me. Now, perhaps the most important question of tonight, who would win in a fight? A bear, a tiger, or a gorilla? EUK: Hmm well that’s a thinker… DP: You still have your phone a friend. EUK: I dunno, I’ve always been a fan of the bears. I think it’d gut the tiger first because of the threat of its agility, but then match the gorilla’s brute strength. DP: Your reasoning is admirable, but I’m afraid that’s not the right answer. EUK: Oh? DP: No, the correct answer is D, me. EUK: But you weren’t— DP: D, me. EUK:… okay fine. EUK’s Mother: Boys! Dinner! DP + EUK: Coming Mom! DP: Looks like we’re going to have to round this off pretty soon otherwise Ma will get mad. EUK: Yeah, and then Pa will bring the slipper. DP:… EUK:… DP: Really… wow. I didn’t know he did that. EUK: Yeah… its not really a joke. Especially when he’s been drinking. DP: If you’ve been affected by these past 4 lines of dialogue, then please PM Electro UK and call him an inconsiderate bastard. EUK’s Mother: BOYS!! DINNER!! DP + EUK: OKAY MOM!!! *Deadpool draws a gun* DP: Wow we really didn’t get many questions done. Now, my dear Electro, its time to die. EUK: What? Why? DP: We done the interview and I’m done with you. I’m finding a new player! I’m living for myself now man! EUK: I can figure this out. I can figure this out. This is not for real. The gun is not even in your hand. The gun's in my hand. *The gun disappears from Deadpool's hand and appears in Electro's.* DP: Hey, good for you, it doesn't change a thing. *Electro stares at the gun a long time... then brings the gun up, and puts it on his lower jaw.* DP: Why do you want to put a gun in your head? EUK: Not my head, Wade. Our head. DP: Interesting. What are you going to do with this IKEA-boy? Hey, it's you and me… Friends? EUK: Wade, I want you to really listen to me. DP: Okay... EUK: My eyes are open. Their eyes are locked, unblinking. Long silence. *Electro puts the gun in his mouth* KABLAM! *Electro’s cheek inflates with gas. His eyes bulge, blood files out from his head. The window behind him shatters. Smoke wafts out of his mouth and tear ducts.* DP:… What’s that smell? *Deadpool slumps to the floor dead. The room is silent for a few minutes until Deadpool gets up. DP: Uch… ow. Wow you almost had me there… except you forgot about my healing factor. Nice try Electro… Electro? Ooooooh boy. EUK’s Mother: BOYS! GET YOU BEHINDS IN HERE RIGHT NOW! DP: How am I gonna explain this one?