The "I gotta rant about how horrible this movie is" thread

[XCharlieX]

Virtuousity gets a mention... very cheesy scifi. And Denzel Washington is a good actor.

 

[iceberg325]

The cursed!!!!!! That sh** sucked!!!!!!!!!
Seed of Chucky!!!!!!! That sh** sucked!!!!!!!!!!
Catwoman!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mortal Kombat 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Street Fighter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spawn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kazamm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I think of anymore, Ill post more.

 

[Jspider13]

Miami Vice was the most overly dramatic boring piece of trash I wasted my money on this summer.

 

[Lazlo Panaflex]

A Day Without A Mexican

One of the stupidest movies ever made, not because of the controversial subject but because it was billed as a comedy and the movie offered nothing fresh or thought provocative.

 

[jaydawg]

Nacho Libre

I knew it would suck. Yet I still snuck into it when Click was available. At least that looked somewhat decent. The closest thing a joke was throwing corn in that guys eye.

**** Jack Black.
**** that guy who made Napoleon Dynamite.
**** John Heder.
And once again, **** Jack Black. Waving your arms around and talking loud doesnt make you funny you ****ing fat ****.

 

[Elisha Cuthbert]

National Treasure--who decided this bad rip-off of the Da Vinci code was a great movie and that everyone should see it? It has a boring 3-D plot and characters and doesn't get anywhere. Which brings us ironicially to
The Da Vinci Code - Oh my god, why? The book was good but this movie was just so boring. It dragged itself from one scene to the next. The only saving graces of this film were the great actors (Ian Mckellan, Alfred Molina, Jean Reano), who should have saved it from being utter crap--but didn't. **** that idiot Akiva Goldsman, why does he get to keep making movies?
I, Robot - see above sentence.
Tomcats- i saw like 10 or so minutes of this movie and want those minutes back. Why is Jerry O' Connel allowed to make movies?

 

[facsmth]

Let's see... I walked out of "The One" (I guess because the one guy explaining how it was possible to time travel... that and the fact I couldn't tell the difference between good-Jet Li or bad-Jet Li.)

I left "Signs" because the audience laughed every five seconds while I was watching the movie...

"Father"
"I'm not a priest."

HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHA!

(What confuses me is the fact that Shaymalan is from Bucks County. Uh... I'm from suburban Bucks County and I hardly see many black people, there's some asian people who run the restraunts, and the Indian guys... I most often see them doing the gas stations. Good move, Night, don't typecast yourself.)

I never felt like kicking the crap out of everyone in a movie theatre before...

One time I was in eleventh grade or something and the science teacher, as a treat, let us watch uh.... great... I forgot the title.... it was some stupid spy movie with this woman who went to the park with this guy. The guy is wearing a red hat and he's the bad guy. He's about to shoot her, but somebody else shoots him.... and there was another scene where this guy in a gay movie theatre is strangled.

Oh no wonder I couldn't remember it.... "The Pelican Brief." A movie that has nothing to do with freakin' pelicans.

 

[The Last Meatbag]

Nacho Libre

I knew it would suck. Yet I still snuck into it when Click was available. At least that looked somewhat decent. The closest thing a joke was throwing corn in that guys eye.

......Click was actually pretty good, you shoulda seen it

 

[facsmth]

I was disappointed with Click. I sort of liked the movie, but the previews really set you up to see a comedy. The stuffed animal needing stitches is just about the only gag (trust me, you'll know what I mean when you see it).

Most of the movie was rather depressing. It was much more serious than any of Robin William's or Jim Carrey's serious movies (albeit with a bit science fiction). If you're kinda old like me you probably remember that old Jetsons episode which might be the basis of this movie... and it's fitting that Adam Sandler plays the lead in this movie since his char's life just goes to heck & he's constantly flailing to find what the heck just happened... Sandler is still naive enough to play up the role as it should be.

I was also glad to see Sean Astin again... look as if he's lost all his Sam Gamgee wieght. Good for him. It wasn't too long ago that we saw the Spongebob movie, but David Hasselhoff looks very old in Click.

Jetsons episodes

Instant Replay
George buys an experimental device that replays events, then erases them thus changing the outcome. This works great for small annoyances, but George accidentally erases his whole family.

 

[The Last Meatbag]

Dog humping is always funny, especially in fast forward

But lots of people got choked up towards the end

I had no idea Sandler had that good of an ability to evoke emotion

 

[Super Flight]

Cat in the Hat, WTF???

and I didnt much like godfather 2, But godfather 3 sucked so much, what the hell was all that about

 

[Dr. Fate]

The big film version of the Avengers with Uma Thurman sucked balls.

 

[iceberg325]

BATMAN AND ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME ON that movie sucked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[ImRonBurgundy?]

I had no idea Sandler had that good of an ability to evoke emotion

See Punch-Drunk Love then, easily the best showcase of his acting ability.

 

[batman7289]

punch drunk love sucked

 

[The Last Meatbag]

You have no opinion, you have a picture of George Clooney Batman in your avatar

 

[gvcool2]

Mission Impossible 3, I don't even feel like i need to justify myself as to why I hate it so. God knows why it was such a well recieved movie.

My crap is better to look at

 

[X-Punisher]

LOTR is a piece of crap. Randal took the words right out of my mouth in Clerks II which I'm glad he did:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewr5Ady6Wow

 

[Dr. MIX]

Hahahahaha, I have GOT to see the sequel now
I liked the first one, but it seems I'll enjoy this one even more.

 

[Speedball]

LOTR is a piece of crap. Randal took the words right out of my mouth in Clerks II which I'm glad he did:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewr5Ady6Wow

That was so AMAZING!
I have to see Clerks II now just to see this in a better quality. AND CHEER MY ASS OFF!

 

[Carter]

Mission Impossible 3, I don't even feel like i need to justify myself as to why I hate it so. God knows why it was such a well recieved movie.

My crap is better to look at

Really?
It was probably my favorite movie of the year

If you hated this one, steer clear of MI2.

 

[Dr. MIX]

MI2 was abominable, the third one was quite good.

 

[Spelunking Man]

I thought I'd make this thread for anyone out there whose had a passionate hatred for a film, but could not find a thread to rant about how horrible that movie was, here's your chance. So I'll start. Van Helsing. Everything, and I mean everything about this film gets on my every nerve. It's poorly made, on all levels. Acting and directing, and what was up with the horrendous accents? Not to mention the FX were unbelievably bad, with the shrek looking Hyde and all... That kinda felt good.

Anyway, your turn.

My opinion is exactly like yours, except replace Van Helsing with The Avengers (starring Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman).

 

[gvcool2]

Really?
It was probably my favorite movie of the year

If you hated this one, steer clear of MI2.

actually I enjoyed MI:2 for one reason alone, it didn't try to be anything other than an action movie and John Woo knows how to make them. MI:3 i felt was trying to be too smart for it's own good and it just became a joke. The fact that the rabbits foot (or whatever it was called) was never explained was such a cheap gimmick that it made the entire duration seem so irrelevant it makes one wonder what they paid to see, tom cruise make an ass of himself? hell i could watch oprah if i wanted that.

Actually I lie, i enjoyed MI:2 for 2 reasons, the climax, it was extremely well constructed and the choreography was great, e.g motorbike stunts, fight on sand, knife to the eye and the slow motion orgasm face that cruise pulls after he kicks dougray scott, funny as hell.

 

[Spelunking Man]

alone in the dark - awful beyond comprehension