Rando
Sidekick
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- Sep 18, 2008
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For your reading pleasure, I submit to you... The Juice Box
July 22nd
I am a juice box. I have a colorful exterior, and a nice delicately flavored grape juice in my body. I arrived in my new home yesterday. It is a wonderful white walled palace, with various types of meat and cheeses (they are really nice people, though the one seems rather sharp) above me, and with colorful fruit brethren beneath me. Though the fruits are below me, I do not look down upon them, for I was once of their kind.
Before I was brought to my ivory kingdom, I was in a nice place called Superstore. They were kind to me, and dusted me often. My time came though, and a nice family of 3 took me home. The car ride was some what cramped, but I did make acquaintance with a rather nice French fellow named Baguette. I have not seen that fellow for sometime, though I will never forget his kind golden appearance.
July 23rd
The place in which I now reside is (I say this humbly) a snow-white palace. It has everything I would ever need, and is conveniently air-conditioned. I have made a few friends, and learned to respect the leader of the fridge, Mr. Milk. He is one percent fat, and 100% a leader. No one questions his rule, because he is the most wise of the fridge, constantly coming and going from the kingdom. He always has a new appearance; he loses and gains volume in his body. Some days he can be full or almost empty. The kingdom does have one problem though; the days and nights vary in length. Sometimes it can be dark for very long periods, but sometimes it can be bright for incredibly short amounts of times. It can be hard to get sleep.
The odd thing is that people seem to disappear often, when one of the supreme gods takes him from the fridge. The only one who has ever witnessed anything outside of the fridge is Mr. Milk. He doesnt talk about it though.
July 24th
Today there was a horrible explosion outside of the palace, and it has now become warm inside the fridge. The gods have taken Evian and I. I have overheard that the gods are now traveling north. With no more Mr. Milk, I feel somewhat lost with out our fearless leader.
July 25th
This morning I heard 3 bangs, and now we are with new gods. They are dirty and they have savagely killed my friend Evian and drank his blood. They have not yet found me, for my gods had placed me in a side pocket.
July 26th
I have transformed into a werewolf. I killed the evil gods who had slain my friend Evian. I am still a juice box, but my body has grown to 8 feet and I am now covered in purple-tinged hair. I have also grown a face and have razor sharp teeth. I now roam the nuclear wintered landscape, feeding on gods and animals alike. I also still find time to write in my loveable diary.
July 27th
I have been shot with a silver bullet, and now I have been reincarnated as an all-seeing, all-knowing super being in the form of an aardvark. It is hard to find ants, what with the nuclear winter and all. I have used my super powers to rid the world of evil and started ruling the world with an iron fist.
July 28th
An evil resistance group overthrew me and killed me. I now reside in hell, and Satan and I are pretty tight. We rule hell with an iron fist. This situation sounds oddly familiar. Satan and I spend our days torturing Hitler, Mussolini, and Charlie Manson. Sometimes Kurt Cobain visits and we jam out and sing Beastie Boys songs.
July 29th
Satan was killed and hell has frozen over. An evil resistance consisting of General Patton, Rambo, and Captain America have taken over hell and now the world is a better place. I have been placed in limbo for the rest of eternity.
July 30th
Limbo sucks.
July 22nd
I am a juice box. I have a colorful exterior, and a nice delicately flavored grape juice in my body. I arrived in my new home yesterday. It is a wonderful white walled palace, with various types of meat and cheeses (they are really nice people, though the one seems rather sharp) above me, and with colorful fruit brethren beneath me. Though the fruits are below me, I do not look down upon them, for I was once of their kind.
Before I was brought to my ivory kingdom, I was in a nice place called Superstore. They were kind to me, and dusted me often. My time came though, and a nice family of 3 took me home. The car ride was some what cramped, but I did make acquaintance with a rather nice French fellow named Baguette. I have not seen that fellow for sometime, though I will never forget his kind golden appearance.
July 23rd
The place in which I now reside is (I say this humbly) a snow-white palace. It has everything I would ever need, and is conveniently air-conditioned. I have made a few friends, and learned to respect the leader of the fridge, Mr. Milk. He is one percent fat, and 100% a leader. No one questions his rule, because he is the most wise of the fridge, constantly coming and going from the kingdom. He always has a new appearance; he loses and gains volume in his body. Some days he can be full or almost empty. The kingdom does have one problem though; the days and nights vary in length. Sometimes it can be dark for very long periods, but sometimes it can be bright for incredibly short amounts of times. It can be hard to get sleep.
The odd thing is that people seem to disappear often, when one of the supreme gods takes him from the fridge. The only one who has ever witnessed anything outside of the fridge is Mr. Milk. He doesnt talk about it though.
July 24th
Today there was a horrible explosion outside of the palace, and it has now become warm inside the fridge. The gods have taken Evian and I. I have overheard that the gods are now traveling north. With no more Mr. Milk, I feel somewhat lost with out our fearless leader.
July 25th
This morning I heard 3 bangs, and now we are with new gods. They are dirty and they have savagely killed my friend Evian and drank his blood. They have not yet found me, for my gods had placed me in a side pocket.
July 26th
I have transformed into a werewolf. I killed the evil gods who had slain my friend Evian. I am still a juice box, but my body has grown to 8 feet and I am now covered in purple-tinged hair. I have also grown a face and have razor sharp teeth. I now roam the nuclear wintered landscape, feeding on gods and animals alike. I also still find time to write in my loveable diary.
July 27th
I have been shot with a silver bullet, and now I have been reincarnated as an all-seeing, all-knowing super being in the form of an aardvark. It is hard to find ants, what with the nuclear winter and all. I have used my super powers to rid the world of evil and started ruling the world with an iron fist.
July 28th
An evil resistance group overthrew me and killed me. I now reside in hell, and Satan and I are pretty tight. We rule hell with an iron fist. This situation sounds oddly familiar. Satan and I spend our days torturing Hitler, Mussolini, and Charlie Manson. Sometimes Kurt Cobain visits and we jam out and sing Beastie Boys songs.
July 29th
Satan was killed and hell has frozen over. An evil resistance consisting of General Patton, Rambo, and Captain America have taken over hell and now the world is a better place. I have been placed in limbo for the rest of eternity.
July 30th
Limbo sucks.
