I'm confused. ...you were bill...you go by Alex but your name is Jennifer Walters...I'm not sure who to refer you as..
Ok so it's about 9 pm...I just finished disc 2 of Eli Stone...and the only part I remember is Taylor (henstridge) in a red dress...leaning quite firmly against the corner edge of the wall...*swallows hard* anyway...debating whether to keep watching season 1...
Even as I was typing this...it's actually 9 37 pm when I posted this. ..
I'm on my week off. I needed it. I had a horrible day Friday. A customer called me out for being racist against her son when clearly I wasn't. At work we have to make security pages every hour on the clock. I'm just following what the big guys want us little guys to do...but what happened was not right. I wasn't picking on anyone. These pages are random. Not only did I feel hurt but very highly offended of being called out as a racist which I would never would do. I am a nice guy. I treat others with an ounce of respect just like anyone else would for me. I dunno what it is...maybe I am not ballsy enough that I'm not one of those ambitious people who want to do more.
I mean I keep telling myself for the past ten years of my life that I am better than this. I can do much better than working for a company that not only makes the wrong decisions which includes cutting back hours but also dumping more tasks that conflict with the main piorities that are more important to complete and still it's impossible for one person to get everything done in less than eight hours within each business day. Not just thst but they treat us little guys like s***. I can't do this anymore. I want to move on with my life. Do what i feel is in the best interest for myself and focus more on my passion that's been there far longer before i even started working as a sales clerk.
Its time I take the bull by the balls and just go for it...or jump off a beachy cliff and see where the water current will take me. If I was smart enough back then I would have done what henstridge did when she moved to Paris to become a model but instead she turned to acting. She did it because she didn't want to put herself in a financial situation like her parents went through and I know a lot of others have been through it all and yet for me it's still ongoing. I wish if I knew what I wanted...I could be out there now and have better control over my own finances by making better positive choices.
I am trying hard now to make amends for how crappy 2015 was for me. Since the beginning of 2016 I cut out most of the junk food and that includes chocolate, candy, desserts like cookies, cakes, muffins - the works. So I'm eating better and looking after myself more because I should...cause really I only have myself. I realize I have to be more in control and not let anyone else make choices for me that gives them the upper hand. I'm done being influenced by people who don't get me. Period. I can't even rely on anyone but myself cause only i can pull myself out of this s*** hole.
Anyway. Sorry for the vent but I just wanted to get it off my chest.