The Overlord
Superhero
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2002
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Correction, I have a scene in a park, not outside the bank.
Yeah, short fight scenes. Like Spider-Man having a fight with Flash Thompson, wrestling, and later rounding up Uncle Ben's killer. And then fighting random muggers still later.
That whole car and row boat chase scene seems way longer then the Flash Thompson fight.
Rainbow Raider is no more outlandish than Cyclops in my outline. OK, there are some forcefields, but onscreen he just fires some optic blasts.
That still money they spend else where, instead of on character that goes no where.
That's potentially dull. And faces the same problems as the robbery in Superman Returns, no sense of drama or possibility of defeat. Showing off Flash's powers and introducing the possibility of defeat is better dramatically, IMO, than just showing off his powers.
It doesn't have to be super exciting, because all it is establishing Flash is fighting crime, making a ten minute production of out of establishing Flash is fighting crime is waste money and time, money and time that can be spent on the real
When Spidey was randomly fighting crime, they didn't spend 10 minutes on Spider-Man chasing down B-list villains they just had him foiling random crime very quickly
The whole car chase and row boat chase is a set piece in of itself, it takes way too much time from the main plot.
I'm pretty sure my outline would be better too if I had six months paid time to spend on it. But, again, the idea that there are powered Rogues that are threatening the city and the police are outgunned is introduced and demonstrated in the very first scene, so I disagree that there is no buildup.
The piper scene is fine, but there is no build up to the introduction of Turtle and Rainbow raider, they just come out of the blue.
Well the Turtle isn't part of Cold's group. Just a "clever" criminal.
And a waste of time frankly.
And, honestly, I don't care about many of the Rogues besides Cold and Mirror Master as far as characterization beyond the basics. What I care about is how they challenge Barry's wits and limitations. I care about establishing Newton's Laws force Barry to be creative in how he uses his powers rather than just punching people. I care about how he defeats a foe he can't touch due to a lightning barrier. I care about how he defeats a heat seeking projectile and turns his foes weaponry against him.
I don't care that Cold had an abusive childhood. Or that Weather Wizard has guilt over killing his brother. Or whatever Boomerang's deal is beyond being a crude scumbag. Or that Heat Wave is a pyro. That's not deep or meaningful.
Yeah, I want the Rogues to be entertaining and fun, but I don't think they're deep and need development beyond the basics.
I don't think the vast majority of the villains are compelling in any way here, so I really think you have to edit a lot of them out.
I did pick two criminals max to develop. Cold and Mirror Master. If you want to call the rest glorified henchmen, like the Toad and Sabertooth in X-Men, go ahead. That's fair, but they're henchmen that challenge the Flash physically and mentally.
Toad and Sabertooth served more of plot purpose then Rainbow raider or Turtle here.
So, they're sequels. What's the point? As movies they're much more complicated than a rather straightforward round up the Rogues plot. A plot that starts in Act I and gets spread over the whole movie rather than jammed into the second half of a film.
You have more freedom with sequels, because you have already establish the character, the first film is what establishes the character, so you have to spend time doing, which is why you shouldn't throw in 7 villains at once.
Here's a better question, how does my outline compare to X-Men, a non-sequel, with Wolverine, Magneto, Mystique, Prof. X, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Rogue, Storm, Senator Kelly, Sabertooth, and Toad? Or, again, Watchmen, with it's multiple flashbacks, six major characters, and timeline spanning from WWII to 1985?
X-Men is a team book it has to deal with a lot of characters at once and a lot of the characters got lost in the schuffle in the movies.
Here seems like you are trying to cram a bunch of the characters from the Flash at once just because you want to see them on screen, rather then making them work within the confines of the plot. That's the difference
I'll disagree that the Iron Heights scene is needed as you do need something movie scale large for the climax. A simple robbery and trap isn't a big enough escalation from first act problems. And, you do need some sort of clever trap in my scenario. An insurmountable wave of criminals with three dimensional thinking for an escape I think fits the bill.
Again that's a lot of money for a giant set piece you don't really need and I don't like overly chaotic battles.
I do agree that the structure of the end could be rearranged so that Cold and Heat Wave are taken out on the battlefield. I just love me that New Frontier bit though, especially since it demonstrates that Cold has backup plans. And might have gotten away if it wasn't for that undisciplined Mirror Master.
Yeah the thing from new frontier was cute, but you already stretching out the time length here.
Well I didn't spend much time on dialogue in the outline, but I think establishing him as a thoughtful leader is accomplished. I do think his relationship with his henchmen helps flesh him out a bit though. There's a reason you see him independent of the other Rogues in the outline.
You haven't really established it that much, because you have way too many other elements going on at the
Maybe, if they're not distracted by watching a big car chase. And especially if he throws the sack under a tarp and the police speed by while he's under a bridge. The whole point to the Turtle is that he's using his calmness, patience, and inconspicuousness to his advantage. He's "clever".
He doesn't come off as clever though, he's in a row boat in a lake in a city park, people on the shore would see him and call the cops and unless the cops are really stupid ands every cop in town is chasing one car, Turtle would be caught easily
Seriously the row boat thing just doesn't work, he doesn't seem clever, he seems stupid, for not getting a motor boat. Not to mention the way you describe that scene is very vague, is the lake in park or did somehow run from the park to the lake, there is no transition.
Its just bad scene, it doesn't work.
Perhaps, but some thug with a gun isn't much of a threat, doesn't necessarily show Flash's limitations, doesn't help to establish what kind of world Flash lives in, and isn't necessarily exciting for the audience. Plus, DuChamp's painting fits well as a gag.
You don't need a great threat for something that just establish Flash is fighting crime, you just need to establish it and move on, not dwell on it for 10 minutes.
I do agree that further demonstrating Raider's connection to the core Rogues is a good idea, though.
But now you have another character fighting for screen time, why not just cut him?
I don't think the script is working because you spend too much time on unimportant characters and not enough time the important ones.
Two rare accidents years and years apart certainly helps sell that it's not a common occurence. Plus, it's canon, so I'd rather just roll with it than try to come up with some elaborate connection that has no meaning to the bigger plot.
Just because something is canon in comics doesn't mean it works on the screen.
It wouldn't have meaning for the first movie movie, but it would have meaning for a sequel featuring Zoom.
So, how do you hint at the Speed Force?
You could even lampshade the fact they seemingly got powers from unrelated events and have them theorize on why that is so? Then you introduce it later.
To me, Jay has the Alfred role. The mentor and sounding board. With maybe a little bit of Lucius Fox thrown in by supplying Barry with the costume instead of a complicated sequence with Barry making his own costume and moves the plot along faster. Plus we introduce the legacy aspects and have a passing the torch moment. We haven't seen a passing the torch moment yet in superhero movies, so that seemed like something unique.
He would serve more of a purpose if he trained Barry a bit, it would also explain why he knows some of those speed tricks.
And, to me, extensive training is out of character with Barry Allen. He's a comic book geek and smart. He should take to superheroing pretty naturally.
Then how do you explain him knowing those speed tricks right away?
Again, I think this is more a question of geography than it is of incompetence. How many block radius do you think the cops will actually search? At some point, it becomes unreasonable to search that far. Remember, they don't necessarily know that a supervillain who can enter through mirrors is involved initially and potentially think he had to approach from close by.
If the bottle and cigarettes are too far away a good lawyer can have them discounted as evidence, if they are block away that proves he was in the area, but it wouldn't prove was in the house, it would be circumstantial at best and why would Mirror Master ditch that stuff a block away instead of taking with him in a mirror, it doesn't make sense.
So the bottle and cigarettes either makes the cops look really stupid or wouldn't work as evidence.
Sure, he could do all that if he was disciplined and smart. This Mirror Master isn't.
I fully admit it's a change, but helps give this guy an edge and makes the Flash/Mirror Master conflict personal. And, besides, Sam Scudder hasn't been used in 20+ years, doesn't really have a modern personality, and making him a psycho that can be killed off to audience applause actually dovetails rather well with continuity. He's easily replaced with Evan McCulloch in any potential sequel.
Silver age Mirror Master was never stupid considering he invented his own tech, so making him really stupid seems out of character.
Ever watch Cops? Criminals are, typically, not bright.
Which is the point. They have superweapons, but for the most part, they're still just common criminals at heart. Fun, colorful, challenging criminals, but not megalomaniacs with schemes of city wide destruction and conquest.
Not doesn't mean they to be stupid or Mirror Master should have a Rhino level IQ, he should be somewhat clever, that would make him more interesting. I don't see why a fun character has to be stupid.
Sorry if I seem harsh, but you were a screen writer submitting this script, a studio exec or a producer would likely ask to edit it for the sake of time and money.
I don't think a script this packed with villains would ever be the Flash movie the studio would approve of, I don't think it would work.
