The Pengiun Diet

Discussion in 'SHH Community Forum' started by pavlovs dogfood, Jan 5, 2006.

  1. pavlovs dogfood

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    Ya know, Penguins drink ice cold water and their body has to warm it up. Doing so burns calories. It's a scientific FACT, like in The Bible or something.

    Drinking lots of water also:

    ~Improves Your Energy
    ~Increases Your Mental and Physical Performance
    ~Removes Toxins & Waste Products from your body
    ~Keeps Skin Healthy and Glowing
    ~Helps You Lose Weight
    ~Reduces Headaches and Dizziness
    ~Allows for proper Digestion
    ~Helps to keep you more Alkaline
    ~Relieves constipation
    ~Helps to maintain proper muscle tone

    I want glowing skin, don't you? Plus, water makes your fat cells less rubbery. Incaseyadidn'tknow, rubbery fat cells = hard to get rid of. Bad stuff.

    When you don't get enough, your blood literally becomes thicker, like tomato soup. You also are thirsty, have sunken eyes, absence of tears when crying vigorously, and are restless and irritable. What a jerk you must be. Your pee is also dark and smelly. EW!

    Water cleanses your system. Water is next to cleanliness, which is next to godliness. Water is Godly.

    Join me in drinking nothing but water all the live long day! Post your results and I'll write a book about this foolproof diet. I have to pee like 17 times a day and never don't have the sensation of having to micturate, but my pee is clear and pristine. Good enough to bottle and drink. Sure, the first few times I peed it was brown and sludgy and full of toxins, but eventually it turns into spring water flowing from my vag.

    You can eat fish or something for energy. :up:
     
  2. Dangerous

    Dangerous Registered

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    Excellent idea
     
  3. pavlovs dogfood

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  4. Killgore

    Killgore Registered

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    I thought this was a thread about eating penguins.

    [​IMG]
     

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  5. Equint77

    Equint77 MY NAME IS HOV

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    I'm now hungry for a hamburger. :(
     
  6. Killgore

    Killgore Registered

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    You mean Penguinburger. MMMMMM. Penguin *drool*
     
  7. The Lizard

    The Lizard Didn't eat Billy

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    Heh- has Dew seen that?
     
  8. pavlovs dogfood

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    I'm thinking we're straying too far from the source material here, folks.
     
  9. Killgore

    Killgore Registered

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    Probably not. I just made it.:D
     
  10. Equint77

    Equint77 MY NAME IS HOV

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    Killgore you're a genius...
     
  11. JLBats

    JLBats The boney king of nowhere

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    Stick to posting sexy pictures.
     
  12. dmcnx

    dmcnx Registered

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    Welcome to my sig:up:
     
  13. The Lizard

    The Lizard Didn't eat Billy

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    Pee comes out of your urethra, not your "vag".
     
  14. pavlovs dogfood

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    You know, potato po-tah-toe, dude.

    The vag is all encompassing. Believe me, I know; I have one.

    I thought you hated that????????????????????????????
     
  15. pavlovs dogfood

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    :o That's so embarassing. Two sigs in two days? :(
     
  16. THWIP*

    THWIP* Registered

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    ME TOO. :confused:

    OF COURSE, DEW'S GOING TO BAN YOU FOR THAT PIC. :O
     
  17. dmcnx

    dmcnx Registered

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    Who the hell says po-tah-to?
     
  18. pavlovs dogfood

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    I'm sure some people do. I for one will not be the judge of them.
     
  19. The Lizard

    The Lizard Didn't eat Billy

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    Too easy....
     
  20. pavlovs dogfood

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    What? Don't give up like that, the gauntlet's been thrown; if we need to fisticuffs, let that be that. Let's dance.
     
  21. JLBats

    JLBats The boney king of nowhere

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    I actually like it but I have to maintain a disaffected facade or people won't like me:confused::(
     
  22. The Lizard

    The Lizard Didn't eat Billy

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    Oh all right...

    That's exactly what I've heard said down at the docks!

    bah-dum-BUM!
     
  23. pavlovs dogfood

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    ....Yeah, the buildup wasn't half as good as the payoff. :down :down
     
  24. The Lizard

    The Lizard Didn't eat Billy

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    Don't you mean the payoff wasn't half as good as the buildup? :confused:
     
  25. Killgore

    Killgore Registered

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    Get a room you two! Or three counting JLBats.
     

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