The Superhero Cinematic Civil War

[SwordOfMorning]

All of you with your Transformers.

Grow up.
View attachment 87829

Screw you, now Just Communication is gonna be stuck in my head for the next goddamn year.

 

[Shinobi Shaw]

Screw you, now Just Communication is gonna be stuck in my head for the next goddamn year.

Rhythm Emotion has been in my head ALL week for some reason.

 

[Drizzle]

All of you with your Transformers.

Grow up.
View attachment 87829

Based Transformers:

 

[Link]

To be fair, I'm not sure anything can be as bad as Illumination's Super Mario. I saw that movie while in severe dental pain and greatly preferred that sensation to what was happening on screen.

We're on the same page. I saw it during one of the hottest days of 2023 and even in the coolness of the theater I was counting down the minutes to get back to the sweltering inferno.

 

[SwordOfMorning]

We're on the same page. I saw it during one of the hottest days of 2023 and even in the coolness of the theater I was counting down the minutes to get back to the sweltering inferno.

I am aware kids have low standards but everyone involved in that movie is guilty of a grievous insult against children for deciding that kind of slop is good enough for them.

 

[Shinobi Shaw]

Based Transformers:

Next year that movie turns 30.

We are getting old Drizzy.

 

[Link]

I am aware kids have low standards but everyone involved in that movie is guilty of a grievous insult against children for deciding that kind of slop is good enough for them.

For sure. I called Illumination a "menace on society" in my review and I stand by that

 

[Drizzle]

Some of you are way too harsh on the Illuminati Mario movie. Could it have been better? Sure, but it really isn't THAT bad. The animation is great and it isn't a bastardization of the source material. Let's not pretend that the Mario games have some kind of vast deep lore with decades of world-building, etc. Zelda, sure, but the Mario games are purely basic fun. The one major criticism I have with the movie was the Marvelization of using pop music in so many scenes, especially at the expense of losing a far superior score that had a lot of nods to the original music from the games including a Donkey Kong Country cue that was dropped in favor of "Take On Me" in the final film for some dumb reason.

 

[Sithborg]

How dare a Transformers cartoon have humor. The 86 movie was totes serious

[Hides Grimlock and the character voiced by Weird Al in closet]

 

[Sithborg]

Some of you are way too harsh on the Illuminati Mario movie. Could it have been better? Sure, but it really isn't THAT bad. The animation is great and it isn't a bastardization of the source material. Let's not pretend that the Mario games have some kind of vast deep lore with decades of world-building, etc. Zelda, sure, but the Mario games are purely basic fun. The one major criticism I have with the movie was the Marvelization of using pop music in so many scenes, especially at the expense of losing a far superior score that had a lot of nods to the original music from the games including a Donkey Kong Country cue that was dropped in favor of "Take On Me" in the final film for some dumb reason.

Frankly, Zelda lore is just as bull****, as it is annoying fanboys who try to make everything fit together when it clearly shouldn't.

 

[SwordOfMorning]

I unironically love the Bob Hoskins Mario movie so make of that what you will.

 

[Shinobi Shaw]

Some of you are way too harsh on the Illuminati Mario movie. Could it have been better? Sure, but it really isn't THAT bad. The animation is great and it isn't a bastardization of the source material. Let's not pretend that the Mario games have some kind of vast deep lore with decades of world-building, etc. Zelda, sure, but the Mario games are purely basic fun. The one major criticism I have with the movie was the Marvelization of using pop music in so many scenes, especially at the expense of losing a far superior score that had a lot of nods to the original music from the games including a Donkey Kong Country cue that was dropped in favor of "Take On Me" in the final film for some dumb reason.

It's only one real flaw. Other than that it hooked me completely.

Did not know I needed Jack Black as Bowser as Macho Man Randy Savage.

 

[Spider-Fan]

How dare a Transformers cartoon have humor. The 86 movie was totes serious

[Hides Grimlock and the character voiced by Weird Al in closet]

There is a thing called balance. Yeah, it had funny parts, but the movie also felt like a movie about a war. Remember all the very not funny death scenes or parts where Unicron is eating planets and people are screaming for their lives? The trailer here shows a movie that's essentially a comedic romp like a Thor Love & Thunder or something. Which is a movie I like a lot, but again that's Marvel. So you're throwing a bit of a strawman here

 

[SwordOfMorning]

While I basically agree with Spider Fan and share his tonal preferences if it looked like a good, funny comedy I would be interested. But it doesn't.

 

[Lily Adler]

Based Transformers:

Besides the Crane Zord already being attached when the arms are attaching, you can see that the Rangers' cockpit is photoshopped in one frame to fit the windows and they're stretched out.

 

[Drizzle]

Frankly, Zelda lore is just as bull****, as it is annoying fanboys who try to make everything fit together when it clearly shouldn't.

Oh I agree that the entire series doesn't fit together but the stories told in each reboot or whatever you want to call them like Ocarina of Time & Majora's Mask or Breath of the Wild & Tears of the Kingdom is just great storytelling.

The Mario games are just as fun to me but for different reasons. I got just as much satisfaction during the boss fights in Tears of the Kingdom as I did throwing Mario's hat on a T-Rex to take control of it in Odyssey and really just this whole level too:

I unironically love the Bob Hoskins Mario movie so make of that what you will.

It's definitely one of those '90s kids movies where if you saw it as a child you can never hate it.

 

[SwordOfMorning]

Oh I agree that the entire series doesn't fit together but the stories told in each reboot or whatever you want to call them like Ocarina of Time & Majora's Mask or Breath of the Wild & Tears of the Kingdom is just great storytelling.

The Mario games are just as fun to me but for different reasons. I got just as much satisfaction during the boss fights in Tears of the Kingdom as I did throwing Mario's hat on a T-Rex to take control of it in Odyssey and really just this whole level in the same game:




It's definitely one of those '90s kids movies where if you saw it as a child you can never hate it.

I also genuinely think it's a surprisingly clever, well made satire with hilariously leftist politics. Not accidentally either, all that stuff is clearly intentional.

It is also very very dumb as well but that's part of the charm.

 

[Drizzle]

Besides the Crane Zord already being attached when the arms are attaching, you can see that the Rangers' cockpit is photoshopped in one frame to fit the windows and they're stretched out.

Poor CGI zords. They were only trying to keep up with their cooler big brothers like the T-1000 and the Jurassic Park dinosaurs.

 

[Spider-Fan]

While I basically agree with Spider Fan and share his tonal preferences if it looked like a good, funny comedy I would be interested. But it doesn't.

Also agree, but it does bother me that essentially comedy is all the trailer is. Even the action is largely Bumblebee killing dudes being like "Hey look at me" while he accidently cuts dudes in half and such or the characters running and being "look how awesome we are" and then immediately falling into a massive pit. It's just all comedy they're showing me.

 

[SwordOfMorning]

Also agree, but it does bother me that essentially comedy is all the trailer is. Even the action is largely Bumblebee killing dudes being like "Hey look at me" while he accidently cuts dudes in half and such or the characters running and being "look how awesome we are" and then immediately falling into a massive pit. It's just all comedy they're showing me.

It also sucks because it's such a cool, fun idea to tell that story. But, hey, maybe the movie itself tells it well.

 

[Lily Adler]

Poor CGI zords. They were only trying to keep up with their cooler big brothers like the T-1000 and the Jurassic Park dinosaurs.

Shockingly enough the Zords from that particular Sentai didn't age well. I'm shocked how the Dino and Thunder ones aged better than the Ninja ones.

 

[Spider-Fan]

It also sucks because it's such a cool, fun idea to tell that story. But, hey, maybe the movie itself tells it well.

I hope the movie is good, but outside Bumblebee it isn't like Transformers movies have been amazing in recent history, so getting me excited for this sort of hinged on that first impression by the trailer. And on that front, didn't hook me. All the power to anyone excited for it and such and I hope they enjoy what they watch when it comes out. I just am thinking I won't walk away from it as enthusiastic. Which I am a bit disappointed by cause I watched for the first time a few months ago both Headmasters and Victory from the Japan (never had seen the Japan exclusive sequel shows before), and I quite enjoyed those overall. Especially Victory. So I have a Transformers itch that can be scratched. Just feel like this won't be it for me lol

I still gotta get through Super God Masterforce though. I started it but skipped to Victory cause I was most interested to watch that. Really need to go back

 

[Drizzle]

Shockingly enough the Zords from that particular Sentai didn't age well. I'm shocked how the Dino and Thunder ones aged better than the Ninja ones.

I remember not being all that crazy about the Ninjazords in the show as a kid except for the Falconzord. The toys were awesome, though.

My favorite Megazord from the show is probably most people's answer but in my heart it'll always be the OG Mighty Morphin:

 

[Lily Adler]

I remember not being all that crazy about the Ninjazords in the show as a kid except for the Falconzord. The toys were awesome, though.

My favorite Megazord from the show is probably most people's answer but in my heart it'll always be the OG Mighty Morphin:

It did help that they assembled more logically than the Ninja ones. How is the Ape Zord supposed to magically shrink to the size of an arm.

 

[Link]

Some of you are way too harsh on the Illuminati Mario movie. Could it have been better? Sure, but it really isn't THAT bad. The animation is great and it isn't a bastardization of the source material. Let's not pretend that the Mario games have some kind of vast deep lore with decades of world-building, etc. Zelda, sure, but the Mario games are purely basic fun. The one major criticism I have with the movie was the Marvelization of using pop music in so many scenes, especially at the expense of losing a far superior score that had a lot of nods to the original music from the games including a Donkey Kong Country cue that was dropped in favor of "Take On Me" in the final film for some dumb reason.

For me, the issue comes with the lifelessness of the whole thing. It's ice-cold and algorithmic, like a 90-minute commercial instead of a film, down to Pratt's vocal performance, the moronic needle drops, the bullet point list of cameos and references that's masquerading as a screenplay, and the unnecessarily by-the-numbers end credit scene. The animation is very pretty and it succeeded in making me want to play the games once more, but as a film, I've rarely been as dissatisfied. The 90s film is shoddily made and fairly ridiculous, but I'll take it any day over this squeaky-clean corporate presentation.

But I do genuinely appreciate that so many others were able to find joy in it. Maybe in this instance, I truly do "hate fun".