Sober review:
10/10
TRANSFORMERS was overall well edited [I don't consider donuts, and other inconsistencies relevant, since I didn't pick-up on it the one time seeing it]. The lenght of this film was perfect, not one minute too long [not even during each scene, as I couldn't have decide just what part of it would make for a good pee break, eventhough I didn't need to go anyway]. Speaking of peeing, I found that bit hillarious, as I'm sure it wasn't urine, and seing meachanical privates wasn't disturbing to me.
My absolute favorite practical shot out of the whole thing was that of Barricade's tire, burning rubber while "drifting/skidding" whence he follows Bumblebee into the empty building during the chase. Second two favorite practical shots were POV's of Scoponok, and Blackout [looking down at Epps]. I suspect for the Barricade shot they've used the Bay-cart, while for the POV shots, they've employed that super-huge 3 x 2 feet 80-lbs-heavy lense, specially built just for this film - it looked like nothing before it ever on film [I guess if You know a thing or two about optics, you would have truly appreciated this].
I can't quite put my finger on it, but I have felt this wierd movie high all day today, after having seen the 8pm showing last night. Something I haven't experienced before . . . and I strongly suspect it had to do with actually seeing my beloved TRANSFORMERS "living" on screen . . . I believe they exist, as they do, and as they are portrayed in the movie. That said, any character-screen-time-defficiencies to me were good chices made by the editor/director . . . to explain, I have read the script as soon as it hit the net, have downloaded/read/watched every picture, every tidbit, video, comics, both novels, interviews, etc. yet none of it ruined the experience for me. I was still in awe, and was truly entertained, and satisfied by the whole deal, because I knew what was left out, and what's been added, or replaced.
Was it Barricade on the freeway, or just: the same POLICE car? I don't know . . . and as far as I'm concerned, Sam doesn't know either. [I know that in the script Bonecrusher was aided by Barricade, against Optimus, which could have been edited out for time, or budget reasons, or just simply changed - I guess we'll find out]. Now, that I'm thinkin' about the DVD, we'll just have to wait, and see the final verdict on Brawl's name. Per Orci it was a mistake, so I'll take his word until then, but the screening I saw still had Devastator [did anyone else like the Cybertronian subtitles transforming?

].
Yes, there was another Decepticon speaking english in the city battle in the background, as someone has pointerd out [it could have been Brawl, or Blackout?]. Oh, yes, the city battle. Great collateral, realworld damage, was being done by the Transformers, or so I thought, anyways. The metal fireescape falling down comes to mind. I'm thinking that I would have preffered if some of the fighting had a little more exposition, but that might have then hindered the viscerality of it all. You know, it might have been too cliche [spoon-fed to us], and I commend Michael Bay, for pioneering this direction throughout, not just the fighting, but with the actor interaction - the situations seemed more real, no pretense - especially scenes with Sam's parent's.
I loved watching the Transformers running, did you enjoy seeing the Transformers running too? Barricade chasing Sam, Optimus in his Proto-mode running from the crash site . . . so graceful . . . youthful . . . full of spark. on that note [spark/Allspark]. I found Simmon's reaction to Allspark's mass-shift entertaining [I've had no problem with his character]. Also, to those, who thought Optimus seemed sadder over Megatron's demise rather than his comrade Jazz . . . I say he wasn't focusing on Megs, when he retrieved the fragments of the Allspark, but rather on the consequences that the destruction of the Allspark would have on his fellow Autobots. I mean, I think his concern was more about, what the Allspark represented, and what could have been, rather than waht did just happened to it. I'm sure he was sad about Jazz anyway.
Bumblebees transformation from bi-pedal being to vehicle up on that heap, was just -

wow

t: how smmmmmooooth! Jazz disarming S7 guys was a fun thing to watch. And the Autobot conversation at the planetarium, was a TF geek's dream come true [I could almost hear the G1 episode music: "Taaaaaaaaaaa-
taaaaaaaa-t
a-ta-
ta-
taaaaaaaaaaa"]. You know what i'm talkin' about. Last shot of the Autobot leader was filmed with the real Optimus Prime . . . I'm sure of it

.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++
I do not
INEBRIATE nosebleed, sorry [I guess I'm not worth the coo' points - shucks . . . dang you
BAG!]
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++
People who went: My sister [21], with her boyfriend; My cousin [32]; My friend from high school who is a U.S. Marine, and served in Baghdad [28], with his son [3] - who loved the movie, and wasn't at all annoying, nor scared, but rather wide eyed, and
content! [take that negatron whiners

]; my other friend from work [39]; myself [28], and two lucky "bastards", whoever they were that got free tickets, because one of my frends didn't show, with his wife. Everyone that went loved it. I sat next to a fat lady, wo didn't smell, and whom I've brushed up against unintentionally more than once . . . she didn't mind mind You. Right when the Studios logos came on a guy few rows back shouted: "I've farted", the full auditorium broke out in laughter. During the movie someone did actually once pass gass, but remainded anonimous. No, it wasn't me. Lol.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++
Spoof Review:
OK Nosebleed, I'm not sure what You have in mind here, but I know that when it comes to cracking jokes, I am less than sufficient at it, so I'll leave it to the pro's. But just for the heck of it, here's some random stuff:
"I came, I saw, I transformed into a Nag-a-tron". Fig is assumed to live, because I sure didn't see him utter any last words. Knowing that Frenzy ejects from Barricade [duh, I own the toy!], it still surprised me, when he actually did on-screen . . . I was like: "where'd HE come from?!?!" then i laughed at myself. When the theatre is packed like that it's hard to hear everything. For example After Jazz's first line I couldn't hear his other one, because laughter ensued. The CG shot I feared was gonna ruin the experience for me, didn't. I'm talking about the Optimus Transforming form the second trailer [front grill -and all], because the lighting on the two red halves was off [too bright orange], whilst in the theatre they've texturised it by then, and it was more red, like I was hoping it would become. Oh, and Megatron had a Sabot hole burned into his chest plating, which is what gave Sam the access . . . everything had a reason IMO.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +
thank you for reading: DEAD END out.