transformers unleashed

[spidergrant]

bump

 

[Spider-Girl™]

Could it be that your story is...just not interesting?

 

[Danger Mouse]

Silence can be polite, you know... :heart:

 

[spidergrant]

yeah your right but i kind of want people to read my story and tell me what they think and what they like or dont like about it

 

[spidergrant]

Jazz's team was fighting at the race track trying to protect there old friend mirage from the decepiconns. All the autobots were handling a deceptacon so mirage knew he was safe from all of them except one. "Show your self soundwave" said mirage as he transformed into his robot form "Im over here" said soundwave as he transformed from one of the lights for the blelachers and jumped ontop of mirage. Mirage leaned down and shot his missle launcher into the ground throwing both of them into the air from the blast. Mirage transformed in mid air and two turbos came out from the back of his car, throwing him into soundwave pumeling him into the ground. Mirage shot a missle directly into soundwave's chest knocking him out giving mirage time to help the other autobots. After bumblebee threw blackout at brawl the two decepticons decided to switch targets so brawl transformed and ran at bumblebee and tackled him while blackout took off his propellars and hit jazz with them. Sideburn and bonecrusher had been fighting for a while when sideburn pushed bonecrusher and he thought he was down for the count so he ran to help bumblebee and jazz when all of a suden bonecrusher got up and started using his wheels as roller blades and snuck up behind sidebrun and grabed sideburns back with one hand and slamed him into the ground. Mirage was going to help bumblebee when he was what bonecrusher was doing to sideburn so he transformed into his dragster car and drove toward bonecrusher and transformed and with the momentum from the speed his car was going he tackled bonecrusher. "Sideburn you go help bumblebee and jazz is handle this guy "Are you sure" asked sideburn "Just go" said mirage as bonecrusher rolled ontop of mirage. Bonecrusher roled mirage onto his back and started lifting up his head and slaming it on the ground. Mirage looked up and saw blackout throw jazz high into the air and if jazz hit the ground he was going to die. Than with a suden boost of energy mirage threw bonecrusher off of him and right before jazz hit the ground mirage shot a missle at blackouts feet. The blast blew blackout away and propeled jazz higher in the air. "Sideburn, catch him" yelled mirage as he started kicking bonecrusher while he was down. Sidebrun jumped in the air and than two rockets shot out of his feet giving him just enough force to get high enough to catch jazz. Sideburn fell through the air as jazz shot his gun in the air propelling sideburn toward toward brawl. Sideburn got near the ground and dropkicked brawl knocking him off bumblebee. Mirage stood over bonecrusher and fired a missle knocking bonecrusher out for good this time and knocking him in the air. "Not again" said sideburn to himself as he jumped into the air and his rockets went off boosting him up to mirage catching him and than landing on the ground. "Guys we need to help optimus's team out he says that there losing there fight with the decepticons" said jazz as the autobots transformed and sped off to help optimus.

 

[spidergrant]

i know that was all one paragraph but i didnt think i needed to make it more than one paragraph

 

[spidergrant]

just to let everyone know. i will post the next part once every 3 day or after someone coments on the story

 

[TKing]

Your post count is stacking up just waiting for a response, eh?

Honestly, paragraphing and grammar goes a long way.

 

[spidergrant]

Optimus's team of autobots had been fighting over the new transformer but were taking a beating from the decepticons. "Decepticons hurry and subdue the autobots" said megatron as he stuck his arms out and close lined the new autobot and ironhide knocking them both to the ground. Megatron pulled out two guns and pointed them at the autobots heads. Monstron was driving around the corn field while optimus tried shooting at him but couldnt get a hit. Monstron drove toward optimus as fast as he could than transformed into a robot in mid air and drop kicked optimus and pulled his gun out and pointed it at optimus's head. Rachet was fighting scorponok and punched him in his chest as hard he could but couldnt knock him over because his robot form has six feet. Scorponk fell back and came back up like a punching bag and grabed rachet and held him by his neck with one claw and pointe his missle silos at him with his other. Starscream and red alert were fighting when red alert tackled starscream. Starscream was on the ground under red alert when starscream had two lasr cannons come out from his back onto his shoulders and pointed them at red alerts head.
The decepticons were about to open fire and kill the autobots when all of a suden a missle came out from behind the hills and hit megatron. "What the h..." said megatron, interupted by ironhide and the new autobot broke free from megatron. Jazz and the rest of his team revealed themselves from behind the hill and shot at the decepticons making them lose there advantage on the autobots. "Decepticons retreat were out numbered. "Teleport back to base" said megatron as he and the rest of the decepticons demetearialized and disapeared.
"Okay autobot, I think its time for a proper introduction" said optimus and he walked up to the new autobot "My name is maxitrack, and i dont like fighting but i will do anything to protect humans endanger" said maxitrack, introducing himself for the first time. "Ok you can join us or do whatever you want, its your choice" explained optimus "I want to stay with the boy, but if you ever need me just contact me and i will help you" said maitrack as the autobots looked around and saw the damage there fight had caused. "Ok autobots, back to headquarters" said optimuis as they headed back to their base
The autobots went back to the base and optimus started pushing buttons on a key board. "Optimus what are you doing" asked sam who had been waiting at the base all day with mikeala. "Im sending a message to all the autobots on earth. Hopefully it will help in our next battle, weve finally out numbered the decepticons and we have to take advantage of that" said optimus as he finished up his message and the autobots prepared for battle.

 

[spidergrant]

ok i know i didnt make a space betwean each paragraph but i felt like the spaces after the end of each paragraph was big enough i didnt need one

 

[spidergrant]

The autobots had met up with maxitrack outside a military base in the desert which the decepticons were using as a base. "Ok guys heres the plan, me and jazz will take on megatron, rachet you take blackout, ironhide you take brawl, bumblebee you take barricade, maxitrack you take monston, mirage you take sound wave, redalert you take bonecrusher, hotshot you take scorponok, and sideburn you take starscream" said optimus explaining the battle plan. The autobots drove down to the base to face the decepticons. The autobots saw the decepicons lined up side to side so they transformed and lined up with there aponent. "I see optimus prime is here to kill us i supose. Than bring it on autobots" said megatron as a gigantic robot rose up from under the sand and toward over the autobots as four garages in the base opened up revealing four military vehicles. A truck with two cannons on his back drove up behind bonecrusher and transformed into a robot with two cannons on his back, a very small space shuttle flew up besid star scream and transformed into a robot , a helicopter flew up by blackout and transformed into a robot that looked alout like blackout, a jeep with a missle launcher on its back drove up my monsterus and transformed into a robot that used the missle launcher as a gun. Each robot formed a robot that was about as brawl. "I guess i should introduce our new members, autobots meet onslaught, blast off, vortex, swindle, and of course brawl. This is our aleat team of the destructicons!" exclaimed megatron as he faced the autobots.

"Optimus, what do we do" asked jazz "I dont know jazz i just dont know. I think weve finally lost" said optimus. "If your autobots swear allegence to me, I wont obliterate you" said megatron as him and the decepticons pointed there guns at the autobots. "We'd rather die than join you" said optimus to megatron. "Fine than have it your way, decepticons ready aim fi.." megatron was interupted by a six car passenger train coming on the train track by the base. The passenger train came close to the gigantic robot named tidalwave who was towering over the base. Once the passenger train got close to the end of the train sudenly stoped and the front four cars flew into the air while the back two sweperated and the backs of the cars came upwards and balanced on the front of the cars, forming the legs. The second car's midle opened up and the head fliped behind it and it formed a torso. The third and fourth cars head's opened up and formed a hand shape while some poles came out of the back of them and conected to the head of the second car becoming the arms. The first car changed like the second and conected to the second car forming its back while the front of it's windows fliped forward and slid into the head and revealed eyes and it became its head.

"Optimus, its me, cruisar, il get rid of this big guy if you fight off the rest of them" said the train robot as he chalenged tidalwave. "You heard the man, autobots rollout" said optimus as the autobots took on there oponent along with one of the new decepticons. The autobots tried their best to beat the decepticons but there were just too many of them. "Autobots, pull back" said optimus as the autobots transformed and drove about half a mile away as the decepticons followed. "Ok guy its time for our fail safe brogram" said optimus as the autobots pulled out there guns and pointed them all in the same area infront of the decepticons. The lazers fired and all met in one area making a huge explosion that knocked back the deceptacons giving the autobots some time to recover. "If thats the way you want it optimus than lets play, onslaught, blast off, vortex, swindle, brawl, form bruticus. All of a suden the new deceptacons started transforming brawl the truck turned into a torso, blast off the shutle and vortex the hellicopter formed arms, and swindle the jeep and brawl formed legs. The destructicons formed one big robot with blast off's wings for a chest plate. "Bruticus, destroy the autobots" said megatron as the huge deceptacon over twice as big as the others ran toward the autobots and started picking them off one by one until he got to optimus. "Im going to enjoy destorying you" said bruticus as he picked him up with one arm and pointed his gun at him with the other and started charging it up. Bruticus was about to fire on optimus when he was distracted by the sound of a car honking at him. Bruticus looked and saw a car carrier driving toward him. The car carrier came close to bruticus and tranformed into a robot that looked similar to optimus and was bruticus's size. "Ultra magnus, what are you doing here?" asked optimus as the robot tackled bruticus. "I thought me and some friends would help you guys out" said ultra magnus as he strugled with bruticus.

All of a suden optimus saw a space shuttle and a very small truck pulling a trailer coming toward the base. "Autobots, get out of here me and these guys will handle this" said optimus "optimus, are you sure, you might need some help" said redalert "yes im sure now get out of here" said optimus as the autobots transformed and drove away. The two new vehciles came by optimus and transformed "Jetfire, overload, boy am I glad to see you here" said optimus, glad to see his new alies "are we going to talk or are we going to fight" said jet fire as they charged into the deceptacons taking one each of them one at a time.

Ultramagnus knocked bruticus over giving him time to do his finishing move. All of a suden a small robot about the size of jazz burst out of ultra magnus''s chest and landed brutics and pulled out two swords from his back and was about to cut his head off. Right before he could do his finishing move the small ultra magnus got shot from a turet on top of a building the autobots thought was in active. The Turret transformed into a robot with gun for an arm. "Ultra magnus, cruisar, get out of here" said optimus as the small ultra magnus got back into his exoskelton as him and cruisar, who had triped tidal wave, transformed and drove out of the base.

All of a suden optimus started to transform into arms and a torso while jetfire transformed into a pair of legs, and overload transformed into a pair of shoulder cannons. The three robots combined to make one huge robot with jet legs and shoulder cannons. The new robot formed a robot named optimus maximus. Optimus maximus flew into the air and charged his shoulder cannons and fired two huge blasts directly into tidalwave's chest causing a huge explosion that engolfed optimus, tidal wave, and the deceptacons base in a huge explosion.


to be continued

 

[spidergrant]

for those of you who dont like my writing please keep reading cause my writing does get bettar

 

[Danger Mouse]

Sure thing.

[continues to clip toenails]

 

[TKing]

Sure thing.

[continues to clip toenails]

You are so bad.

But not as bad as the grammar in this story. Spidergrant, if you consider using Spellcheck once in a while, I'll see if I'm up to reading this.

 

[spidergrant]

im not sure if my word pad has spell ckeck but it might so il check again. if they have spell check on here can someone tell me how to use it cause im not too good with using these boards

 

[spidergrant]

can people point out the grammar mistakes because i have trouble checking over my storys unless there really obvious

 

[spidergrant]

autobots
optimis prime-truck
jazz-car
ironhide-truck
rachet-humer
bumblebee-car
sideburn-car
red alert-police humer
hotshot-car
mirage-dragster
cruisar-passenger train
ultra magnus-car carier
jetfire- space shuttle
maxitrack-tractor
overload-tractor trailer

decepticons

megatron-jet
starscream-jet
barricade-police car
blackout-hellicopter
bonecrusher-h.mine protected vehicle
scorponox-scorpion
monterus-monster truck
soundwave-stock car
shockwave-cybertron turret
tidalwave-battleship

combaticons/decepticons
bruticus (deceptacon)-strong robot and ultimate vehicle
onslaught-truck with cannons and torso
blast off-rocket and right arm
vortex-hellicopter and left arm
swindle-jeep with cannon and right leg
brawl-tank and left leg

 

[millennium movies]

Wow what a bunch of jerks in here...dude don't mind them just do your thing, finish writing your story. Then once it's done review it, check it's format/spelling and rewrite some parts if necessary. Don't wait for people to give you a response to continue. This part of the board is usually this dead, they are all too busy getting movies spoiled around here to check on people's stories. I posted some material on a movie i was working a year ago and barely got any response, much like you. Like i said, do you thing or as a friend said "do your best and f**k the rest!"!

PS: Maybe you should post this on the Transformers section, you might get more hits there.

 

[spidergrant]

i know i did some of it there but no reply. i might pick this up again some time but i got a little tired of doing this and now im writing a story called beast quest. you can read the first part if you go to the post does this idea sound good