Weird sayings your parents have/had

[terry78]

Yes, your folks are old, and are from a whole different generation, but do they keep up with the current times in their commentary, or do they have these bizzare sayings and mottos that just make you say, "what the **** was that?"

My pops is from Mississippi, and pretty much all the **** he says is some old creedo from decades ago.

- You can't catch no possum if you ain't got no bait.

I swear on everything he says this occasionally, and half of the time it has nothing to do with the situation. I'm sure it means something, but I have yet to figure out what.

 

[Heretic]

A tree once fell in front of the car while my mom was driving and she yelled out FIDDLESTICKS!

Excuse the language mods.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

A tree once fell in front of the car while my mom was driving and she yelled out FIDDLESTICKS!

Excuse the language mods.

BANNED!

My pops says "let's blow this Popsicle stand" in public.

 

[Bunker]

Whenever my mom gets a stomach ache, she always says "It must have been the gravy."

 

[Holiday]

I've heard "(insert name) was drunker than Cootie Brown!" quite a few times. Still not sure who or what that is.

 

[Spider-Bite]

Whenever somebody had trouble doing something or they looked akward fumbling around my grandpa would say you look like a monkey fu###ng a football.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

My grandfather used to say I was like "a bull in a china shop".

 

[Holiday]

My grandfather used to say I was like "a bull in a china shop".

I just heard that on CNN referring to Larry Sommers.

Spooky...

 

[AxlsAppetite]

My grandfather used to say I was like "a bull in a china shop".

That's actually not that weird, i understand it.

 

[The Battousai]

Being Portuguese, I hear quite a few weird sayings - though I'm pretty sure a lot of the words/phrases were just made up at one point or another

 

[BeserkerHilf]

my dad on me driving to the jersey shore from philly one month after getting my license:

"I don't know, Next weekend is daylight savings time"

 

[Silverstein]

"I have an IQ of 175" -My mother who, when forced by me to take an IQ test barely managed a 108..

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

my grandfather, while fumbling for a keyhole would say, "Put some hair around it, and I could find it."

 

[terry78]

my grandfather, while fumbling for a keyhole would say, "Put some hair around it, and I could find it."

That's what we all say.

 

[DeGenerate10]

My parents didn't say this but I thought I'd share anyway. I work at a local groccery story and I was the one bagging grocceries. Some old dude was the customer and the cashier told him the total was $48.70 but the customer thought he said $48.07. When the customer got his change back he says "Now you wait one cotton pickin minute! You said it was 7 cents. I be dig duggin through my change to give you 7 cents"

 

[Silverstein]

my grandfather, while fumbling for a keyhole would say, "put some hair around it, and i could find it."

o_o

 

[Lantern Venom]

My dad always says, "If you don't like it, you can lump it." I used to have a college professor say this same phrase. Exactly how does a person lump?

 

[huskerwebhead]

My parents didn't say this but I thought I'd share anyway. I work at a local groccery story and I was the one bagging grocceries. Some old dude was the customer and the cashier told him the total was $48.70 but the customer thought he said $48.07. When the customer got his change back he says "Now you wait one cotton pickin minute! You said it was 7 cents. I be dig duggin through my change to give you 7 cents"

I say this from time to time....Classic Bugs Bunny.

Not my parents, but I work with a guy who a real old country boy. Sometimes he pulls out some weird sayings:

"That'll go over like a fart in a space suit." and the more recent...

"This things turning into a goat rodeo." From when he uses it I assume it's alot like saying "This things turning into a cluster f**k."

But still...Goat Rodeo?!?

 

[Tanin]

My parents often tll me to 'take a red' when I am being hyperactive.

 

[Drakon]

My dad was hassling me one time about giving me a ride somewhere when he was going out, and when he gets stressed [read-when there's oxygen in the air], he starts to rant and gripe and complain and give these twenty minute explanations, when two words would suffice and give you all the information you'd need.

"Dave, I still gotta go pay off my pager, I have to run to the bank, and still go to Food Lion, then I gotta go to Bobby's house and pick up my amp and effects for my gig tonight, and you're asking me to go 180 degrees in the opposite direction!"

Yeah, I still bust his chops for that one.

 

[JayCaz]

My Dad: "Any more lip from you two, and I'll kick you from ******** to breakfast time"

Mum: "If you eat your crusts you'll have curly hair like Michael Jackson"

Mum: "I may as well mays'n I?" (my personal fave, cracked me up every time)

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

o_o

How come when you quoted me, my name was in lower case?

 

[Silverstein]

How come when you quoted me, my name was in lower case?

I don't know I might of had to retype it or something...

 

[SpideyInATree]

"Your ass is grass and I'm the lawn mower!"

I heard that quite often when I was around 9 or 10 years old.

 

[Silverstein]

"Your ass is grass and I'm the lawn mower!"

I heard that quite often when I was around 9 or 10 years old.

Can...Can I make the obvious joke without being offensive?