Welcome Class, to Room 666...Again

[Jack Rabbit]

*snickers to fellow classmates at Max's misfourtune with the teacher*

 

[The Spawn]

Lament Configuration

 

[Max Shrek]

Originally posted by MidKnight
*snickers to fellow classmates at Max's misfourtune with the teacher*

*gives him the puzzle* That's cool guys. Solve the puzzle. Something very special will happen.

 

[Max Shrek]

Thanks, teach!

 

[The Spawn]

Custler? First name.

 

[Jack Rabbit]

Originally posted by Max Shrek
*gives him the puzzle* That's cool guys. Solve the puzzle. Something very special will happen.

*shoots spitwad*

 

[Max Shrek]

*throws pencil in his eye*

 

[The Spawn]

Ten thousand miles to the north, Canada, a man of steel walked across the virgin snow of a deserted area, with the exception of a church planted in the vicinity, miles away from him, on the end of a cliff, a waterfall behind it.

He stopped and looked at his feet.

Superman: I can fly…

And so he did.

He landed in the center of the set of steps that led up to the church, he walked through the already open doors and had entered a very warm area. He looked around, all was silent, except for the flames which licked upon the top of the their candles wildly.

His eyes went dilated as he scanned the area with his x-ray vision.

Superman: Nothing.

He turned around and went back to the peaceful blizzard.

In a more tropical setting, behind the dream house of most men in America, two men sat on patio chairs sipping on pimp juice, eyeing the women they were surrounded by.

Yes, you guessed it. It was the Playboy Mansion.

President Bush and Hugh Hefner sighed with relief as the sun danced upon them, bringing them closer to skin cancer and wrinkles, but who cared? They’d deal with it again after death where they were going.

Hugh Hefner: Isn’t this great Bush…

President Bush stared at the behind of a blonde coming out of the pool.

Bush: On Ass Ave and Curve Lane it sure is…

Hefner put his fist out, Bush gave it a pound, and they went back to their sight seeing.

Inside of the Mansion, Playboy guards stood their ground, white bowties and black tuxedos making them feel like kings. A hefty guard walked passed the front door and was making his way down the hall when the doorbell rang, he sighed then turned around.

Hefty Guard: Damn horny teenagers…

 

[The Spawn]

Dear Yahoo!:
Who are the four horsemen? What do they have to do with the apocalypse?
Daniel
Syracuse, New York

Dear Daniel:
We consulted the Biblical End Times category in the Yahoo! Directory and also searched on "four horsemen apocalypse" to reveal a few details about these mysterious riders.
Commonly called "the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse," these figures are part of the elaborate imagery found in the Bible's Book of Revelation. Scholars believe this book was written at the end of the first century A.D. The Book of Revelation recounts the visions experienced by John the Apostle. In Biblical Greek, the word "apocalypse" means revelation, and John's message is meant as a prediction of the future. The book may have been an allegory for the political situation of the time.

Passages 6:1 through 6:8 describe the horsemen. In these pages, Jesus Christ is symbolized by the Lamb, and he opens a scroll fastened with seven seals. After he breaks each of the first four seals, one of the horsemen appears. As the first seal breaks, John sees, "a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer."

The second seal reveals "another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword."

After the third seal is broken, a black horse appears, and the rider holds a pair of balances. John hears a voice say, "A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine."

When the fourth seal is broken, the final horse arrives: "a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him." John says of the horses, "And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth."

The symbolism of the four horsemen is much debated. The first horse in particular is a source of confusion. Some identify the white horse with Christ because later in Revelation, Christ rides on a white horse. Many others believe the first horseman brings conquest and oppression upon the world in preparation for the next horses.

The second horseman is commonly seen as war. The third is usually interpreted as famine, due to the relationship between the scales, food, and money. The final horseman obviously symbolizes death, though sometimes this horseman is considered to be pestilence and disease because the pale color of the horse can be translated as "sickly pale."

In Revelation, conquest, war, famine, and death/pestilence are given power over a quarter of the earth. Humankind suffers even more in this book, but in the end, good finally triumphs over evil.

 

[Max Shrek]

What did that hefner joke have to do with anything?

 

[Jack Rabbit]

Originally posted by Max Shrek
What did that hefner joke have to do with anything?

*pulls pencil out of eye*

****.

 

[The Spawn]

What Hefner joke? Is that the next topic you wish to discuss?

 

[Jack Rabbit]

Uhhh.

Tell us about necromancers.

Are they real?

 

[The Spawn]

There are many categories under the term magic in this world. Necromancers, Telepaths, Mages and so forth. Each class has special abilities that the others generally lack, but some things will overlap. A mage, for example, can duplicate with a spell the mind reading a powerful telepath can perform. And a Mage could also attempt spells generally preserved for Necromancers. It takes a great deal of control to advance in any of these categories, and every beast with abilities undergoes extensive training to learn the full use of their talent, and to learn to consequences of misuse. Most also learn the proficiency in a type of physical weapon, in all three classes, as the use of their specific talent drains their energy. After their energy is spent the further use of their talent will use the very life force of the being, and tire them to the point of unconsciousness, perhaps dealing permanent damage or even death. Eventually, one who has used that much energy may recover, but few are desperate or stupid enough to go that far.

Nucramians embrace magic, among their people, it is as diverse as the variations they have.

Aybra's possess magic to a lesser degree, but outclass all others in their control of fire.

Some Kanari have been known to possess some arcane skill, but it is not very common amongst them.

Trapians, while they may have the potential, despise magic. They may allow healing magic occasionally, but normally view any sort of magic as the lowest form of treachery.

Watchers have never been known to use magic of any kind, yet they display a remarkable immunity to it.

Telepaths

Telepaths powers are composed of their own mental strength, even so, no telepath can progress above what they are born with, and the most powerful are born with nearly uncontrollable mental energies. Powerful telepathic children are generally raised by other telepaths, to help them contain and control their energies.

Active Abilities: Mind-reading, sending messages through thoughts, telekinesis, mental attacks

Passive Abilities: detecting magical or telepathic energy, receiving messages, natural resistance to certain energies

Ranks: Graded from 1 to 15

1- Most powerful, a grade 1 telepath could disable a powerful mage easily and no normal Nucramian can withstand the mental attacks at a grade 1's command

15- The weakest telepaths, sometimes not even considered telepaths at all. Grade 15's have either extremely weak active abilities(like not able to send a message, but just a faint feeling) or extremely weak passive abilities(like the detection of magic or telepathic ability).

A note on passive talents: It is possible for a telepath with passive talents to be grade 1. A grade 1 telepath with a passive immunity to mental attacks effectively nullifies another grade1 telepath’s mental barrages, rendering the offender helpless.

Necromancers

Necromancers are magic users whose abilities deal only with the dead, spirits, and other dimensions. Technically, Necromancers are a type of Mage and can be ranked along that scale as well, but most prefer their own class. Necromancers are generally thought of as evil, and can delve only in "Black" magics, but the nature of ones talents does not define their personality.

Abilities: Conjuring and controlling the dead, spirits, and beings from other planes of existence, very powerful curses, defensive spells(bone armor), terror and weaken, lower resistances, life tap, blood star

Ranks: Warlock, Necromancer, Conjuror, Nezbaal

Warlocks are a sub-class of Necromancers, many are not capable of controlling the dead. Warlocks usually specialize in curses. Conjurors are also a sub-class of Necromancer, specializing in the conjuration snd controling of creatures. Necromancers are the most powerful, all the abilities available in the black arts are theirs to control. Necromancers are capable of the most deadly curses, can control the most powerful demons, and only the greatest can cast blood star. Blood star is the concentrated energy of the underworld, and few can survive a direct blow from this magic. Nezbaal’s are any type of Necromancer, just evil. These are the ones that give a bad name to all others of their kind and back up the horrendous stories told about Necromancers. Most of the time, a term like "Evil Warlock" is used instead of Nezbaal, but most Necromancers prefer using Nezbaal.

 

[Jack Rabbit]

Tell us about the uncanny similarities between Lincoln and John Kennedy's assisantion.

 

[Max Shrek]

Originally posted by MidKnight
*pulls pencil out of eye*

****.

*puts one penicl in his right ball, another in his left* That'll hold ya' off.

Now since you've explained Necromancers, explain the Necronomicon Ex Mortis.

 

[Jack Rabbit]

Originally posted by Max Shrek
*puts one penicl in his right ball, another in his left* That'll hold ya' off.

Now since you've explained Necromancers, explain the Necronomicon Ex Mortis.

AhhhhHH!!

Give him detention!!!

Aghhhhhhhh-uhhhhhhh!!!

 

[Max Shrek]

Shup up *slaps him*

 

[The Spawn]

The Odd Parallels Between Kennedy and Lincoln
By Valerie Klein
Ms. Klein is a student of the JFK assassination whose researches have taken her to Dealey Plaza and the Texas School Book Depository on several occasions. Her latest article on the subject was published in the American Journal of Legal History.


Comparing Kennedy's death to Lincoln's gives you a host of weird coincidences. Some examples are:

Both Presidents were shot in the back of the head, on the Friday before a major holiday, while seated beside their wives, neither of whom were injured.

Both were in the presence of another couple, and in each case that man was also wounded by the assassin.

After both assassinations there were loud and insistent claims that the fatal shot must have come from a different direction.

Each President in his thirties married a socailly prominent twenty-four year old girl who spoke French fluently.

While in the White House, each President had a family of three children, and both lost a child through death.

Both Lincoln and Kennedy were second children.

Both had been boat captains.

Both were related to a U.S. Senator, Attorney General, ambassador to Great Britain, and the mayor of Boston.

Each had been elected to Congress in the year '47 and were vice-presidential runners-up in the year '56.

Each was elected president in '60.

Before each was elected, a sister died. Both had a friend named Billy Graham and knew an Adlai Stevenson.

President Kennedy had a secretary named Mrs. Lincoln and President Lincoln had a secretary named John Kennedy.

The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.

Both were succeeded by vice-presidents named Johnson: Andrew born in 1808 and Lyndon in 1908, both of whom had 13 letters in their names and two daughters.

Both assassins have fifteen letters in their names.

Booth shot Lincoln in a theatre and fled to a warehouse. Oswald shot Kennedy from a warehouse and fled to a theatre.

Both assassins were in their turn assassinated by shooters who used a Colt revolver and fired only one, fatal shot.

There are many more coincidences. But does any of this prove any connection whatever between the two murders? No, of course not. It just exemplifies the minor mysteries and ironies that surround any great public tragedy. But true believers see gathering unanswered questions as an end in itself, believing somehow that even if none of the anomalies implies anything, the sheer number they come up with must have some significance. But when you are adding zeroes, it does not matter how many you add, the sum is still zero.

 

[Jack Rabbit]

*crawls to back of room, cradleing testicles*

*grabs large book with a pentagram displayed on the cover*

*reads a few chapter*

*utters a fre words*

*Max's head explodes*

 

[Max Shrek]

*it puts itself back together* You didn't really think it'd be that easy did ya'? *throws the Lament Configuration at him*

 

[The Spawn]

The Necronomicon Ex Mortis:
The book of the dead.. mostly

 

[Jack Rabbit]

I give up!!!

Spawn, do you have any class pets to show us?

 

[Max Shrek]

I thought it was gonna be like 12 paragraph essay like the others.

 

[Max Shrek]

Originally posted by MidKnight
I give up!!!

Spawn, do you have any class pets to show us?

He's got the hairy demon from Big Trouble in Little China.