What are your thoughts on friends with benefits?

[Jolie_Desastre]

My friends and I have been discussing this, and I just wanted to know what your opinions were about it.

The benefits don't really have to be sexual, like a hook up, making out from time to time. A lot of people at my school do it, some say it's stupid, why not just date the person? Others say it's something casual.

If you guys have tried it in the past, what were your experiences good or bad? A friend of mine said he tried it once but it didn't work out because they stopped communicating like they used to.

well?

 

[Erzengel]

It generally doesn't work out because inevitably one of the people involved start developing feelings for the other.

Edit: Years ago, I was spurned by my then gf at the time and decided I just wanted no attachments, just to have fun.

I was seeing 2 girls and one of them was really into me, and I hurt her pretty bad because I made it clear I just wanted friends with benefits.

 

[StrainedEyes]

What's the point in just randomly making out?

 

[Jolie_Desastre]

i guess they just want to have fun without being tied down, or have the label

 

[Ice-man]

wow ahah i was honestly just about to start a thread on something along the lines of this and ultra flirty women.

i got this friend (chick) who's going out with my other friend who she thinks is an *******, she basically dating his dick, anyway shes just too flirty, she flirts with me in front of him and he knows it, but i don't think he cares though, he never says anything to her. lol its kinda funny.

i really hate ultra flirty women, there just teases, specially when they have boy friends.


she just called me 10 mins ago to say she bought me a pack of camel lights and two vanilla honey dutches, cuz i stole her a bottle of sky vodka from a hotel bar. lmao.


she always rubs against my back too and her boobs are massive, i love them, maybe will be those friends with benefits.

 

[terry78]

My ex attempted to go this route and sure, to most guys it sounds good, but you don't want to get mixed up in that ****...you really don't. Either the guy or the girl always starts to have feelings...if you can honestly keep ****ing the same person for a while and not start to want to "hang out" or do things for them, you are a robot. Watch the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine attempt to do this, it's pretty accurate.

 

[Jolie_Desastre]

wow ahah i was honestly just about to start a thread on something along the lines of this and ultra flirty women.

i got this friend (chick) who's going out with my other friend who she thinks is an *******, she basically dating his dick, anyway shes just too flirty, she flirts with me in front of him and he knows it, but i don't think he cares though, he never says anything to her. lol its kinda funny.

i really hate ultra flirty women, there just teases, specially when they have boy friends.


she just called me 10 mins ago to say she bought me a pack of camel lights and two vanilla honey dutches, cuz i stole her a bottle of sky vodka from a hotel bar. lmao.


she always rubs against my back too and her boobs are massive, i love them, maybe will be those friends with benefits.

lmao

 

[kytrigger]

IMO it rarely works out well in the end. One will almost always start wanting more than the other one (if they don't start out that way immediately) and while they might be good at hiding it most times, it slips out eventually. Usually it happens at a party when one of the people is actually with someone else and the other person gets jealous.

From experience, the best it has ever worked out for myself is when you do it with someeon that isn't nearly as close of a friend. You are still obviously friends, but you don't see each other every day, you don't always hang out. I saw this girl maybe a couple of times a week and sometimes we would hook up, sometimes we wouldn't. Half the time, we weren't even around each other, one of us drunk dialed the other and we would meet up after hanging out at seperate parties and hook up. By not constatnly seeing each other we became much less attached in any form which worked out better for both I think.

 

[kytrigger]

My ex attempted to go this route and sure, to most guys it sounds good, but you don't want to get mixed up in that ****...you really don't. Either the guy or the girl always starts to have feelings...if you can honestly keep ****ing the same person for a while and not start to want to "hang out" or do things for them, you are a robot. Watch the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine attempt to do this, it's pretty accurate.

the funny thing that the vast majority of guys I know that have done this really wouldn't mind dating the girl either. All they really want is to know for sure they are dating, or if they are still allowed to actualyl get some form another source.

It's the women that keep it confusing saying they don't want to label it or some ****, but then throw a massive **** fit when they see that guy hitting on/making out with someone else.

 

[Sun_Down]

It can work out pretty well or it can end painfully. It all depends on the people and the nature of their relationship in the past. I've had no problems with this kind of arrangement when it's with someone I was just friends with. But I've also had trouble when it was someone I was involved with previously.

 

[DV8]

hmmm . . . tough subject; tried it once, and like most people, it didn't really work out in the end . . .

the fact of the matter is sex complicates any relationship . . . peoples' insecurities start to come to the surface, whereas a regular friendship usually doesn't cause such emotions . . .

personally, I think society's 'label' of a being a 'couple' and being 'in love' is convoluted and fuacks w/ our heads . . . love is basically a hallmark holiday, and causes most people's perception of true love to become TOTALLY misconstrued . . .

 

[Erzengel]

the funny thing that the vast majority of guys I know that have done this really wouldn't mind dating the girl either. All they really want is to know for sure they are dating, or if they are still allowed to actualyl get some form another source.

It's the women that keep it confusing saying they don't want to label it or some ****, but then throw a massive **** fit when they see that guy hitting on/making out with someone else.

Yeah cause most men are secure enough that they can handle it if they see the friend with benefit making out with someone else.

 

[The Incredible Hulk]

since I'm married, this would be inherently bad....

 

[user123456789]

My friends and I have been discussing this, and I just wanted to know what your opinions were about it.

The benefits don't really have to be sexual, like a hook up, making out from time to time. A lot of people at my school do it, some say it's stupid, why not just date the person? Others say it's something casual.

If you guys have tried it in the past, what were your experiences good or bad? A friend of mine said he tried it once but it didn't work out because they stopped communicating like they used to.

well?

do u wanna be my fwb?

PS: it's worked out great for me

 

[kytrigger]

Yeah cause most men are secure enough that they can handle it if they say the friend with benefit making out with someone else.

honestly most men I have seen handle it fine. They just move on and try getting with someone else. Of course there have been teh exceptions where they also throw a **** fit, but overall I have personally seen many more women freak out because of this than men.

 

[Mr. Credible]

i don't like it, because i don't like to share.

 

[demento]

Oh, never mind... I thought this was going to be about health insurance and 401Ks...

 

[jaguarr]

i don't like it, because i don't like to share.

Aren't you the guy who kept sleeping with his girlfriend long after you broke up with her and then nailed her sister in the pooper while perpetuating this ongoing affair?

jag

 

[Logan's Runt]

F***ing your friends can only end it tears. True story.

 

[Erzengel]

honestly most men I have seen handle it fine. They just move on and try getting with someone else. Of course there have been teh exceptions where they also throw a **** fit, but overall I have personally seen many more women freak out because of this than men.

I've seen many a guy who can't or maybe the guys who can just move on, the girl they were friends with didn't have other avenues. Because honestly, men can be just as jealous.

 

[jaguarr]

See, I had a pretty good experience with a girl who was essentially just a "f**k buddy" when I had just graduated college. It went on for about six months and we weren't really friends before all that. We met and it sort of just happened. Neither of us wanted to be tied down to one person, so we made a mutual agreement. Didn't hang out together all that much. Pretty much just got together to get freaky and that was really about it. I got a girlfriend about six months later and ended it because of that. She didn't seem to mind as we both knew it would happen one day.

jag

 

[Ice-man]

well they'd have to be your friend first, if you know them and are comfortable around eachother than the whole ****ing your friends aka fwb works out fine.

i mean if there total strangers and you ask em fwb, im sure they'd slap you or kick you in the nutz.

 

[kytrigger]

See, I had a pretty good experience with a girl who was essentially just a "f**k buddy" when I had just graduated college. It went on for about six months and we weren't really friends before all that. We met and it sort of just happened. Neither of us wanted to be tied down to one person, so we made a mutual agreement. Didn't hang out together all that much. Pretty much just got together to get freaky and that was really about it. I got a girlfriend about six months later and ended it because of that. She didn't seem to mind as we both knew it would happen one day.

jag

EXACTLY. If you are going to do this don't have it be with a best friend. HAve it be a casual friend at most IMO. The more you see them casually without the benefits=the worse it will end up

 

[terry78]

True enough, as if we were just about the sex, we wouldn't get jealous whenever we see our "friend" talking to some other guy or dating him. I'd honestly be more upset about my girlfriend having emotional ties to another guy than her just sleeping with him.

 

[kytrigger]

I've seen many a guy who can't or maybe the guys who can just move on, the girl they were friends with didn't have other avenues. Because honestly, men can be just as jealous.

See, I think for the most part that men are just a jealous, if not more, when it comes to it being in an actual exclusive relationship. However when it isn't exclusive I think men can better seperate their sex lives form everything else than women. Obviously there are exceptions, but this is just what I've personally seen.