What's the deal with popcorn?

[Master Chief]

So for a while I was off popcorn. The stuff was just too hard to eat. It was either too soft or too hard and it didn't taste that great and it was killing me inside. So now I'm in a bit of a rut and I had to eat some popcorn, the orange kind, and I did, and now there are little popcorn pieces all over the f**king place. Why? Why is popcorn like this?

I'm hungover and now I have to whip out the goddamn vacuum, which I haven't used in a while since I don't have a carpeted floor. F**k you popcorn, f**k you.

 

[arachnid-guy]

oh LOL

 

[Warhammer]

*Inserts random phrase*

...it was that goddamn Batman.

 

[black_dust]

Orange popcorn? did someone piss on it? and its like that because your hand eye coordination is shot probs all that jacking off you do

 

[Mee]

Master Chief fails at eating.

 

[Fran]

 

[Master Chief]

Pissed on popcorn looks more like extra butter popcorn. This was cheddar or something. Plus I balance out the jacking with wicked juggling skills and video games brah, my hand/eye coordination is Godly in perfection.

Anyway I eat by the handful. It's either that or eat them individually. They're so tiny that if you do that, you're going to be hungry, but if you don't do it, some will sneak out of your deathly grip and jump to freedom all over your f**king floor. It's a lose/lose situation. Plus it tastes bad, so it was a lost situation to begin with. Snacks are supposed to be delicious and delightful and temporarily filling, popcorn deserves no place on this Earth. Except at the movie theaters to dump over the head of a jackass who can't shut his/her face.

 

[Mee]

I can eat by the handful and not spill everywhere.

 

[Master Chief]

Betch plz, until I see it you are lying. Especially when you get to the bottom of a bag. Where there are big and tiny pieces lumped together. TINY. Like less than your finger tip.

 

[Fran]

I'm with Mee on this one.

 

[black_dust]

Pissed on popcorn looks more like extra butter popcorn. This was cheddar or something. Plus I balance out the jacking with wicked juggling skills and video games brah, my hand/eye coordination is Godly in perfection.

Anyway I eat by the handful. It's either that or eat them individually. They're so tiny that if you do that, you're going to be hungry, but if you don't do it, some will sneak out of your deathly grip and jump to freedom all over your f**king floor. It's a lose/lose situation. Plus it tastes bad, so it was a lost situation to begin with. Snacks are supposed to be delicious and delightful and temporarily filling, popcorn deserves no place on this Earth. Except at the movie theaters to dump over the head of a jackass who can't shut his/her face.

Awwww your just mad because your hungry.

I can see it now

*hand full*
"Ooooohhh!!"
*another hand full*
"God dammit!!!"
*another hand full*
"screw this time to make a thread"

 

[Master Chief]

Ok FarmboyLucas, film that s**t! Record your progress of eating popcorn. A whole bag of it. Don't care if it's one take or a bunch spliced together, and no goddamn edit cheating betch.

I was hungry. And now I'm not hungry but not full and I have this terrible taste in my mouth. I will go eat something much better, like some greasy awesome hamburger or something from a restaurant all the miles away I haven't been to in a while but that is for when I recover.

 

[Mee]

Popcorn- 1

Master Chief- 0

 

[Mee]

Banned.

 

[Fran]

You're scaring the children!

 

[jimmy]

I LUV popcorn -- especially the kind with oozing butter!

 

[CyberFaust]

cheddar popcorn is stupid and satanic, why in the would would people frack up popcorn with that cra, same for chips, only salt and butter for me


and, it helps to have a brother, i pay mine to clean up the bits

 

[Kaleb]

one of the many unsuccesful Jerry Sienfield jokes

 

[mcilroga]

Nachos and Cheese are better... eat those.

 

[Paste Pot Pete]

Who cares about popcorn? I still want to know what the deal is with airline peanuts.

 

[Spider-Man Luvr28]

Mmm.Popcorn. I haven't had some in a while. Last time I had some was to see Norbit. I wanna buy some for my house.

 

[Fanticon]

popcorn makes me choke and its kernel slivers get stuck in my teeth...but damn i can't stop eating it once someone breaks some out.

 

[Speedball]

all I know is I can never eat Orville Redenbacher popcorn again because of those damn commercials.

 

[Spider-Man Luvr28]

Oh wait..I bought a little bag of popcorn at school on Friday. My bad.

 

[tzarinna]

Hate popcorn.
Unless there's sugar and nuts involved.