Whats worse...

[The Spawn]

...the people, the places, the moments most important to you were gone or dead OR that they had never been?

 

[Hooded Justice]

...the people, the places, the moments most important to you were gone or dead OR that they had never been?

If they were dead. If they had never been, they wouldn't matter. Not to me anyway. I'm only concerned with what I know to be real.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

This whole "friends and family being dead" thing is something I've been dealing with lately - the realization that everyone who is important to me, my parents, my brother, my sister in law, my friends, are all going to die someday and no longer be a part of my life... and eventually MY time is going to be up and I'm going to be gone.

But with that said, I must say, we all have to die eventually. Everyone. There's no getting around it. There's no magical pill you can take to become immortal.

With that said, I would much rather see those loved ones pass on than to have never existed.

If they never existed, I never would have shared those relationships, those memories, the happiness and joy that they have brought into my life.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

If I realized something was just a delusion my entire life, sure, I'd be pretty upset.

But just the sheer thought of losing my girlfriend, best friends, or a family member seriously makes me want to break down.

I'd never lost anybody even relatively close until a girl on my high school cheerleading team killed herself just before she was supposed to graduate (about a year after I did). I wasn't very close with the girl (however I did almost ask her to homecoming, I wussed out), but I was pretty familiar with her... That's the kind of event that knocked the "Death is real, and it's permanent" type of mindset into me. What made it even weirder for me was the fact that I had just been talking to her only days before I heard she'd taken her own life.

It honestly changed the way I think about... Well, everything.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

If I realized something was just a delusion my entire life, sure, I'd be pretty upset.

But just the sheer thought of losing my girlfriend, best friends, or a family member seriously makes me want to break down.

I'd never lost anybody even relatively close until a girl on my high school cheerleading team killed herself just before she was supposed to graduate (about a year after I did). I wasn't very close with the girl (however I did almost ask her to homecoming, I wussed out), but I was pretty familiar with her... That's the kind of event that knocked the "Death is real, and it's permanent" type of mindset into me. What made it even weirder for me was the fact that I had just been talking to her only days before I heard she'd taken her own life.

It honestly changed the way I think about... Well, everything.

I've always had a hard time dealing with mortality, whether it be my own, or that of loved ones like my mother or father.

It's a tough thing to deal with, but like my brother and my father have recently been telling me - it's not about when you go, it's about what you do with the time that you do have.

Something my brother told me - if he were to die tomorrow, his 2 sons know that he loves them. His wife knows that he loves her. I know that he loves me. That's the stuff that's important, because that's the stuff that is going to stick around after he's gone. Or like my dad told me today, in regards to my grandmother who passed away in 2007 - the values that she lived by still live to this day in him, and his 2 brothers, and have been passed on to myself, my brother, and my cousins, and my brother is passing on to my 2 nephews. For that, she may be gone physically, but what she stood for and what was really important will never die.

Personally, I fully intend to pass on the legacy of my grandmother to my own children. When I have children, I want them to know where they came from, and the family bloodlines that they come from. Sure, in the grand scheme of things, my family line is irrelevant. There's no world history or anything in my family tree. But within our own family, there is something truly special there, something truly worth carrying on, and passing down to future generations.

Mortality is something that is truly hard for me to come to grips with, but for my life to have never existed, for my loved ones to have never existed, for my memories to have never existed, that would be worse. At least with mortality, even if it is for a limited time, I still have a chance to enjoy these blessings. I still enjoy the love of my mother and father, and the relationships that I share with them, the relationships I share with my brother, my sister in law, my friends, my aunts and uncles, my grandparents.

My grandmother may be gone, but she will forever be remembered and cherished in my mind and heart. I will always value the time I did have with her.

 

[OctaviusINC]

It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

I've always had a hard time dealing with mortality, whether it be my own, or that of loved ones like my mother or father.

It's a tough thing to deal with, but like my brother and my father have recently been telling me - it's not about when you go, it's about what you do with the time that you do have.

Something my brother told me - if he were to die tomorrow, his 2 sons know that he loves them. His wife knows that he loves her. I know that he loves me. That's the stuff that's important, because that's the stuff that is going to stick around after he's gone. Or like my dad told me today, in regards to my grandmother who passed away in 2007 - the values that she lived by still live to this day in him, and his 2 brothers, and have been passed on to myself, my brother, and my cousins, and my brother is passing on to my 2 nephews. For that, she may be gone physically, but what she stood for and what was really important will never die.

Personally, I fully intend to pass on the legacy of my grandmother to my own children. When I have children, I want them to know where they came from, and the family bloodlines that they come from. Sure, in the grand scheme of things, my family line is irrelevant. There's no world history or anything in my family tree. But within our own family, there is something truly special there, something truly worth carrying on, and passing down to future generations.

Mortality is something that is truly hard for me to come to grips with, but for my life to have never existed, for my loved ones to have never existed, for my memories to have never existed, that would be worse. At least with mortality, even if it is for a limited time, I still have a chance to enjoy these blessings. I still enjoy the love of my mother and father, and the relationships that I share with them, the relationships I share with my brother, my sister in law, my friends, my aunts and uncles, my grandparents.

My grandmother may be gone, but she will forever be remembered and cherished in my mind and heart. I will always value the time I did have with her.

I agree 150%. My friend's death didn't push me into depression and fear of death... It's actually made me start taking control of my life, and doing the things I want to do.

To be honest, it kind of motivated me to live my life the best way I can. Before that, I had zero motivation. Not even enough to really stick out college. Now, I've been invited to join a Leadership and Success socieity because of my grades, and started doing stuntwork and acting professionally, and am actually soon to get a talent agent to begin getting into movies.

It made me realize that we really don't have very long here, and I don't want to give up any chances. It's sad that it took a suicide for me to see this, but what I think is even more sad is the people who will never see it that way.

 

[Master Chief]

I get existential panic attacks a lot, and the first option is the reason.

 

[Silverglade]

I didn't find out I had a half-sister until I was 20. That revelation didn't go well.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

I didn't find out I had a half-sister until I was 20. That revelation didn't go well.

Why not? Did you sleep with the girl in high school?

 

[Silverglade]

Why not? Did you sleep with the girl in high school?

It was not revealed until she found out how to find my mother and it was one of those "guess what! you have another relative you never knew about, Jedi".

In the meantime, I slept with everyone else's half-sisters in high school.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

It was not revealed until she found out how to find my mother and it was one of those "guess what! you have another relative you never knew about, Jedi".

In the meantime, I slept with everyone else's half-sisters in high school.

Even mine?

 

[ttotheusher]

I would say seeing them disappear would be worse. It's kinda like how Ra's Al Ghul reasons to Bruce Wayne about how sometimes you'd rather not have the memories because they turn into poison in your veins. Or something like that.

 

[CHEZ]

Reminds me of that classic quote: "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"

One is a reality that happens to each and every one of us, the other, never happened.
It is better to lose those you love and that they know you loved them than to have lived a delusional life where you never know the meaning of love, you only imagine it. Love of family, friends and your partner in life. That is real, the other is not.

 

[The Senator]

It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Agreed.

 

[CHEZ]

Oops, sorry, OctaviousINC. I didn't realize you had already written that quote.

 

[Silverstein]

Death is an equal and opposite part of life...Finding out that you're a Reploid and all of your memories and past are someone else's? Priceless....

There's some thing money can't buy with everything else, just escape with Harrison Ford.

 

[terry78]

I think if you're seeing family and friends that never existed, there are a boatload of other issues going on.

 

[Sawyer]

Ah, crap... I voted on the wrong one. I meant to vote for Delusions being worse.

I just dont think I could handle that. Isnt life ****ed up enough without having everything be something you made up?

 

[Matt Murdock]

From Secret Window:

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"...You are alone."


...That's ****ed.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I get existential panic attacks a lot, and the first option is the reason.

I've been having panic / anxiety attacks here recently over the fact that I, and everyone I know, are mortal, and will someday die.

That someday I am actually going to lose my mother, and my father? That they are going to die and no longer be a part of my life? My mother and father are the 2 most important people to me in my life. I know a lot of people have mommy and daddy issues. But I don't. I've always had a strong relationship with them.

That someday my older brother is going to die, and I won't have him around in my life? Or my best friends?

Or that one day, the time will come when I have to die, and that I no longer exist?

These are things that I have not yet been able to come to grips with, and it's been the cause of MUCH anxiety for me as of late. And I'm really not sure how to deal with it.

 

[Matt Murdock]

My mother died when I was in eighth grade. That was four years ago. I'm pretty cynical now.

 

[Logan's Lady]

I think it would be worse to find out it was all a delusion.

At least if they had passed on, you would have the past to remember them, pictures etc and you would have closure.

but finding out your whole life was a delusion...... that would be harder for me.

 

[bell110]

The memories disappearing and dying part is throwing me. If they disappear, how would you miss them? Unless I'm misreading what you're trying to say.

 

[WolfCypher]

How can anyone vote for anything other than losing what you have? If a gypsy came to me and showed me what might have been, it'd make for interesting online conversation at best.

EDIT: I think I understand the 2nd option. Having a life only to realize it's not real. If so, then that would suck hardest.