Why are people so Anti-Social these days?

[OctaviusINC]

I'm quite introverted and even I've realized that modern society has become very anti-social.

Whenever I'd bring this up I'd always be told that it's only the "young" or "current" generation. That's simply not true. I've realized first hand that kids to seniors and everyone in between want nothing to do with you.

I've been living in a pretty active apartment building in Chicago for nearly 3 years now and it's filled with the most anti-social people imaginable.

They don't hold open doors for you if you need it, they won't say "hello" or "good morning" even when you say it. The most amusing is all the ways they pretend to look occupied so they don't have to share an elevator with you for 15 seconds. And if for some freak accident they end up in the same elevator with you they practically smash their bodies in a corner face first.

There's fitness center in my building and I run the treadmill there a few times a week. I'm literally in a corner running with earbuds on for an hour. And no one else will come in. I see people from young to seniors dressed in their workout clothes...they open the door to the fitness center...see me...and they freak out and dash outta there. I'm 5'7 125 lbs. I'm not intimidating. But I feel like Frankenstein's monster.

I'm a very introverted person but, man, after seeing these people I'm like Mr. freakin' Rogers.

It's communication overload. It's being so in touch with everyone that you're not in touch at all. Everyone has there earphones on and face glued to a screen. We're a society of bubble people.

 

[X-Ray]

This kay jeweler promo pretty much covers it ....

[YT]R2Hgvw-CMUQ[/YT]

just need diamonds to break the ice.

 

[Hyde]

Well, for me I just find a lot of people at school irritating. Especially since I only really like a handful of people, and a lot of the ones who are annoying start trying to drum up conversation, or in weird cases, "close friends" of mine start touching me and grabbing me and caressing me and even though that's a jokey teenager thing to do around these parts it's really ****ing annoying.

 

[NickNitro]

As a kid that moved around a lot I didn't have the luxury of being anti social. I always had to meet new people. I have no problem talking to random people and getting along with them. I actually pride myself on my ability to genuinely be able to talk to someone I've never met before.

Sure I have days where I just want to be alone, we all do. But as a whole its not my personality and its a bit foreign to me.

 

[chamber-music]

To be honest, I've always been a shut in, so no, I haven't noticed. Personally I find strangers starting unsolicited conversations to be incredibly irritating.

I don't mind talking to strangers sometimes but other times I got things to do and places to be so it can be a pain in the ass.

I got stuck talking to a elderly Canadian guy in the street for over an hour once. He was a nice guy but I kind of wanted to get home and I couldn't come up with a polite to way to end the conversation.

Also some people are just boring it is harsh but true. Not everyone cares about the things you care about or find your life as interesting as you might think. I don't need to be overburdened with the tedium of your daily routines.

I think this is generally true. But I also believe it depends upon where you live.

For instance, in London, you virtually dare not make eye contact with strangers. However, if you find yourself out for a walk somewhere in Yorkshire, perfect strangers will say "Good morning" to you and sometimes strike up an entire conversation.

I have experience of both of the above. The latter weirded me out the first few times it happened, but after a while you get used to it and even enjoy the interaction.

If someone talks to you on the tube in London they are either non-Londoners or foreign or pickpockets or mentally ill

Some people in London wouldn't stop to urinate on you if you were on fire but some people are friendly and talkative. It really depends who you meet and where in the city.

 

[chamber-music]

Well, for me I just find a lot of people at school irritating. Especially since I only really like a handful of people, and a lot of the ones who are annoying start trying to drum up conversation, or in weird cases, "close friends" of mine start touching me and grabbing me and caressing me and even though that's a jokey teenager thing to do around these parts it's really ****ing annoying.

Be luck you didn't attend a South London comprehensive. People you don't even talk to would come up and gab you genitals for a laugh or just for the hell of it.

 

[Feenix]

Where I'm from, people always chat up one another. If you don't want to talk, you put in headphones or something. I've had many an interesting conversation on the bus or on the train or in line at 7-11.

There's also a lot of smiling that goes on. People smile at me and I smile at them when we pass each other on the sidewalk.

 

[chamber-music]

If you even look at the wrong person you could end up in a fight in certain parts of London, I've seen it happen.

Smiling at women you don't know can also result in getting your ass kicked by their boyfriends or husbands or brothers or they think your a creep. It really depends on the type of person you engage with.

I'm pretty good at reading peoples body language. If I'm in a good mood I sometimes strike up a conversation with someone who might seem receptive but I won't try to chat with someone who clearly doesn't want to talk.

 

[Figs]

Being introverted I've never been an outgoing person for most of my life. Taking introverts out of the equation a lot of it I believe isn't just social media and people texting most of the time but people's ever increasing super sensitivity and paranoia this past decade or two.

Growing up in the mid 80's and through the 90's a lot more neighbors would be outside talking or simply waving hi to each other. For my friends it was the same. Now days people come home from work and stay locked up in their homes. I rarely see people out in front of their homes socializing on the weekends while I'm driving around town.

This past decade it seems like more and more people have become untrustworthy of others and a lot of that is due to all the news reports of thieves, rapists and kidnappers at least in the CA Bay Area/East Bay. I even remember news interviews with people on the streets some years ago and from their own mouths they were pretty much saying what I just mentioned about being untrustworthy.

I do realize this isn't the only reason of course but it definitely plays a factor.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

It's quite a frustrating trend. Getting a good face-to-face conversation out of a stranger or even some of my friends recently is like pulling teeth. I'm noticing way less eye contact between people too. A distinction also needs to be made between anti-social, introversion, and social awkwardness.

 

[Nathan]

I can actually be very friendly with people, have conversations, make friends, but I don't really want to do any of the stuff. It's just a necessary survival skill to me. When I'm outside or at work, I'm one of the friendliest persons you will meet. Once I'm inside my own 4 walls? You and the rest of the outside world don't exist anymore.

 

[Shikamaru]

People aren't any more anti-social today than in the past. The idea that we've gotten so much more anti-social is an illusion. It comes from nostalgia and selective memory, much like all other fictional "good ol' days".

 

[Colossal Spoons]

I can actually be very friendly with people, have conversations, make friends, but I don't really want to do any of the stuff. It's just a necessary survival skill to me. When I'm outside or at work, I'm one of the friendliest persons you will meet. Once I'm inside my own 4 walls? You and the rest of the outside world don't exist anymore.

Are you frequently in danger?

 

[Nathan]

Are you frequently in danger?

No, but I'd have a pretty hard time landing a job when I let my honest personality shine through. And people will treat you as if you are a nut job. In high school they wanted me to take therapy sessions, because they were worried, since I wasn't outgoing and didn't want to interact with people.

If you don't act like the rest of society, there's basically something wrong with you. So I just put on a smile and try to get through the day, without offending anyone's view of the societal norm.

 

[Figs]

People aren't any more anti-social today than in the past. The idea that we've gotten so much more anti-social is an illusion. It comes from nostalgia and selective memory, much like all other fictional "good ol' days".

Nope. Selective memory my ass. Like I said in my previous post, maybe it was just the part of CA I was living in as opposed to the rest of the country but people were in fact far more social than they are now days. I wasn't imagining things or having illusions, I was actually outside most of my youth and not in my bedroom playing video games and reading comics nonstop like some fools. That last bit wasn't aimed at you Shikamaru.

 

[SpideyVille]

I once heard someone say that technology has made us connect to more people, but communicate with less at the same time. And I was actually just having this conversation with a friend of mine because I feel a little old-fashioned in the sense that me and her have been chatting online a lot lately, but I told her I needed to talk to her about something important and I wanted to do it in person because you really do lose so much when you're just typing words and emoticons. I mean I knew this one girl who would talk to me for hours online, but when it came time to talk in person, its like we didn't even know each other.

And I also think people tend to talk to people more than they talk with people. Like there's really a difference between talking and listening, and most people seem to think that when the other person is saying something, they need to say something back to "pass the ball" so to speak, but I'm learning now that when you actually do speak and connect with with someone, it just flows much more easily. But it really seems rare these days because people just have so much to do and so many things in their mind that its hard to stop and truly give someone a moment of your time.

 

[John Locke]

People have always been anti-social. We're just better at doing it now. Six years ago when someone wanted to talk to you at a Starbucks there was nothing you could do about it. Now you can pretend to text or surf the Internet to avoid them. We haven't changed we've just gotten more sucessful at doing it.

 

[SpideyVille]

But you see, six years ago is nothing in the grand scheme of things. I mean, when I think of things the way they used to be, I think of them from 20-30 or even 50 years ago. This may not have been the case all the time, but you might have seen someone like a milkman deliver milk to a house and the owner would greet them and they might even develop some kind of friendship or at least try to get to know each other on a little bit more of a personal level.

But now, you might get the same UPS or Fed Ex delivery guy come to you with a package and never exchange one word. It's like no one wants to be there and is not happy about it. That's why I used to love this one bus driver that would take me to work because he would always smile and say Good Morning to every passenger, and in this day and age, you don't see that too often.

 

[Anubis]

F**k Good Morning.

If I'm up before Noon then it's not a good morning at all.

 

[Slushy]

I used to be a chatterbox back then. I was really good at making friends and getting along with people. Then when your friends turn their backs on you, you just have a hard time trusting people again.

Although I remember one time I talked to somebody on a plane for just about the whole flight, three hours I think. And after we parted ways, I came to realization we didn't exchange names!

 

[OctaviusINC]

But now, you might get the same UPS or Fed Ex delivery guy come to you with a package and never exchange one word. It's like no one wants to be there and is not happy about it. That's why I used to love this one bus driver that would take me to work because he would always smile and say Good Morning to every passenger, and in this day and age, you don't see that too often.

I agree. The maintenance man in my building, the gals who work in the gas station where I get my coffee every morning. I see these people more than I see my family. I don't necessarily want this strong bond...but it doesn't hurt to crack a smile and say, "Good morning, how are you?".

And the fact that I have to do that first nowadays is unsettling because I always seen myself as very unfriendly.

 

[Soapy]

Serious question to people complaining about strangers not wanting to talk to them: Why do you assume they should want to talk to you? Why do you feel you're owed conversation? I'm honestly curious. As someone who has always detested small talk, chit-chat, etc. especially with random people in stores or on the street or what have you, I'm genuinely curious about what exactly your perspective is.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I don't mind talking to strangers sometimes but other times I got things to do and places to be so it can be a pain in the ass.

I got stuck talking to a elderly Canadian guy in the street for over an hour once. He was a nice guy but I kind of wanted to get home and I couldn't come up with a polite to way to end the conversation.

Also some people are just boring it is harsh but true. Not everyone cares about the things you care about or find your life as interesting as you might think. I don't need to be overburdened with the tedium of your daily routines.



If someone talks to you on the tube in London they are either non-Londoners or foreign or pickpockets or mentally ill

Some people in London wouldn't stop to urinate on you if you were on fire but some people are friendly and talkative. It really depends who you meet and where in the city.

When I visited a friend in Germany in 2007, I walked to a bakery to get breakfast for the group. On my way back, I was stopped by a local man and we chatted for a little while. That was actually ok, as I could test my German. As soon as he found out I'm American he wanted to talk about George Bush. We both hated the guy so that was fun.

So that was the one time I enjoyed a sudden conversation with a stranger.

 

[Anubis]

He was gonna try to kidnap you and sew your face to some other dudes butt, and your butt to some other dudes face.

 

[Teelie]

Polarization of beliefs. People are able to interact with people and only people who share their beliefs and don't get to see viewpoints from others who differ. So naturally when someone believes one thing and encounters someone who believes another, they are at a loss for how to comprehend their difference of opinion.