Why Do Some Consider Suicide Selfish?

[Warhammer]

Due to the recent passing of Robin Williams, I must ask this question. This is not meant to bait anyone. I am just curious as to everyone's thoughts on the matter of suicide and why it is or isn't selfish. If you have any personal experiences dealing with suicide and/or just want to discuss the topic, feel free.

And please don't get this thread shut down like some of my others, ladies and gentlemen.

 

[Thundercrack85]

Assuming you have even moderately caring parents, it would be horrible for them. Not to mention if you have children.

Suicide with few exceptions, is a cop out. You are abandoning your responsibilities to your loved ones.

 

[marcvader]

A person must not be in their right mind when in severe suicidal depression so to me I'd hardly consider it selfish. It's hard to comment on it as I think you'd need to be in one's shoes to know.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

Because of those you leave behind.

Just imagine someone you love killing themselves.

 

[DarkSentinel]

Edit

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

A person must not be in their right mind when in severe suicidal depression so to me I'd hardly consider it selfish. It's hard to comment on it as I think you'd need to be in one's shoes to know.

Yeah clinical depression wouldn't allow a person to think rationally.

 

[DarkSentinel]

The element of choice is key here. And the ending of one's life is, at least in most cultures I'm aware of, a very serious philosophical matter and also, for lack of a better term, "unnatural", rather like murder, the deliberate ending of a life before it's natural fulfillment. The only difference is that suicide is pitiable, whereas murder is heinous.

I never really told anyone this before, but at a time in my life where I was not so emotionally mature I made a feeble suicide attempt. Tried to down a bottle, and all I did was throw up and feel miserable about myself. But I also realized that suicide as a choice, whether impulsive or premeditated, is inherently selfish because I was only thinking about myself. And the messed up part is, I'm not a selfish dude! I'm very contented and chill, but I love living and love experiencing the world, so the way I see it, I want to experience as much of this world as I'm meant to before moving on to the next one.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

Sometimes people kill themselves to teach others a lesson.

That's more desperate than anything.

 

[marcvader]

Sometimes people kill themselves to teach others a lesson.

That's more desperate than anything.

That to me is all together different. A person that is in a clinically diagnosed state of depression is not thinking clearly. They are mentally ill and aren't capable of making the right decision.

 

[The Guard]

Because they don't understand it. Though I would imagine that in most cases, it is a technically selfish act.

If you are committing suicide to end your own pain/suffering, and not thinking about the people you leave behind, isn't that inherently selfish by definition, since you're only really really considering yourself in the decision?

 

[Rodrigo90]

This is what my girlfriend texted about her battle with depression and suicide attempts.

(((Hug))) it's ok babe. I don't want to leave you and the girls at all. Always know that. When it gets really bad I often believe that you and the girls would be better off without me an safer without me. I hate the thought of my illness effecting the people I love and a lot of the time I'm convinced that killing myself would protect the ones I love. And it's so hard to breathe sometimes an I can't cope with stuff an it feels like my only option because I'm a mess and I hate being like this. I've always been strong and independent an done everything on my own and now I'm a shadow of the person I used to be an I hate it. So I'm trying to build my strength to get bk to the strong person I used to be xxxxxxx

I can't speak for others who suffer. But it sometimes seems like the best to everyone according to them.
And the mentally ill don't have a good sense of judgment with going through such crippling turmoil. We can interpret it as selfish, but to them, it doesn't occur usually, which is understandable.

 

[SuperSanchez]

People think it is selfish because the person dying has done so deliberately and left there family and friends in grief. I don't believe it is selfish though. Before I say this I just want to say I DO NOT ENCOURAGE SUICIDE TO ANYONE! People are different, not anyone can talk about there feeling and emotions so when they keep it locked in they can't hold it anymore. They commit suicide because they want to get away from the world of pain and go into Heaven. I am a christian btw. and also I was discussing at youth group last week, if theres more pain in your life Heaven will be better for you because it'll be more of a relief. For example, school holidays arent really that fun if you haevnt had any school before so and worked hard at school. but if you work really hard at school then the holidays will be better because they will feel more of a reward. same with life, the more pain and suffering you endure the better heaven will be when you pass away.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

People think it is selfish because the person dying has done so deliberately and left there family and friends in grief. I don't believe it is selfish though. Before I say this I just want to say I DO NOT ENCOURAGE SUICIDE TO ANYONE! People are different, not anyone can talk about there feeling and emotions so when they keep it locked in they can't hold it anymore. They commit suicide because they want to get away from the world of pain and go into Heaven. I am a christian btw. and also I was discussing at youth group last week, if theres more pain in your life Heaven will be better for you because it'll be more of a relief. For example, school holidays arent really that fun if you haevnt had any school before so and worked hard at school. but if you work really hard at school then the holidays will be better because they will feel more of a reward. same with life, the more pain and suffering you endure the better heaven will be when you pass away.

Killing yourself is considered a cardinal sin. You supposedly go straight to hell.

Ironically, the movie What Dreams May Come, starring Robin Williams, addresses this.

 

[Schlosser85]

I don't want to be judgmental about people who commit suicide without being in their mindset, but people think it's selfish because it is selfish.

Robin Williams has devastated his wife and children and scarred them for life, not to mention his assistant who found his body.

 

[Feenix]

The way I see it, if you know you're depressed or have PTSD or some other form of mental illness that would cause suicidal thoughts and you don't seek help, I see that as selfish. There was a firefighter in my city who committed suicide (leaving behind a wife and two small children that she can't afford to take care of on her own) because he had PTSD for the last 2 years. He never bothered seeking help for it, he never opened up about his experience, and he never once tried to treat it. He just killed himself. That is selfish.

Robin Williams, on the other hand, fought with depression for decades. He talked openly about it, he sought treatment numerous times, and for all we can tell, he wanted to get better. The way he killed himself makes me think he wanted to die. You hear stories of people who jump off bridges and survive, and they later say they immediately regretted their decision to jump. Robin had time to rethink his decision and he stuck with it. He was going to die beause he wanted to. I wouldn't force someone who wants to die that badly to live. It sounded like he was in immeasurable pain. That isn't selfish to me, that's using the only option left.

I don't consider assisted suicide to be selfish, so what makes depression any less painful than cancer or MS or another debilitating illness? Robin tried to fight it and he fought for a long time, but in the end, he had no fight left. I don't see that as selfish. The firefighter didn't even attempt to utilize other options. That's like someone with cancer killing themselves before even finding out if there is a cure. It's only selfish if all the other options were not exhausted.

 

[Tempest]

On the surface, suicide looks selfish. It seems like it's just a choice, it seems like the person didn't work hard enough to live.

I don't agree with that assessment. Asking someone to exist in a world of pain and agony is a lot more selfish to me, than for someone to seek relief from their suffering.

Depression is a disease, and like every disease, some people can't beat it. To clarify, however, I believe the term 'depressed' is thrown around far too casually. I think some people confuse 'deep sadness' with what depression actually is. I'm not an expert though, so I could be wrong.

 

[Harley2004]

Because they don't understand it

This part is true. Many people just are completely ignorant on mental illness and do not understand how it affects people.

 

[SuperSanchez]

Killing yourself is considered a cardinal sin. You supposedly go straight to hell.

Ironically, the movie What Dreams May Come, starring Robin Williams, addresses this.

I dont believe in hell, and i dont believe it is a sin to kill yourself. Everyone, no matter how bad there sins, should go to heaven and not be punished for what they have done.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

I dont believe in hell, and i dont believe it is a sin to kill yourself. Everyone, no matter how bad there sins, should go to heaven and not be punished for what they have done.

Well I won't knock you for your personal views.

I don't like the concept of suicide victims going to hell either.

But you should realize that concept has stopped many from considering suicide to begin with, myself included.

 

[Sexy Magician]

I think it's quite ignorant to say it's a selfish act, people who are saying that have clearly never seriously been in that mind frame and therefore don't really know what they are talking about. I am not supporting suicide in anyway, I think it's a wrong choice to make, but if you really are that down, if life really is that unbearable, and especially if your depression is rubbing off on loved ones and creating bad atmospheres and situations, then I can understand, again, I'm not supporting or agreeing with it, I'm saying I understand.
As a person who has felt a slight sting of depression, I've been really REALLY unlucky, and it felt like life was telling me I'm supposed to stay at the bottom, and let me tell you, them feelings suck! My ex gf suffered from depression as a condition, it was a chemical imbalance in her brain that caused it or something like that, there would be days when she would cry and cry all day for absolutely no reason, she wouldn't even know why, she was just so sad and depressed, at times I would catch her cutting herself, and she didn't even have a physical reason to be doing this.

I can see how others perceive it as selfish, but I honestly think you're wrong, but that's just my opinion, as someone has kind of been there, you're thoughts can be, it would be selfish of my family to want me around when all I want to do is die.

I'll end with suicide is the wrong choice to make, but it certainly isn't selfish.

 

[Dark Guardian]

Much of what I think on the subject has been expressed. But I'll add this.
Living as a very logical, very controlled individual, who has reasons for every choice I make; it has never made sense to me to judge that because of a week, a month, a year, even ten years of bad times it is therefore worth it to remove the possibility of good times equaling the rest of your life. No matter how dark the hole, no matter how painful the time, you have so much more time that very well could be filled with joys you have never experienced. Logically, the equation is simply not balanced.

But the key is that I'm in the mindset to think like this. To look ahead and realize that no matter how bad something is, it's temporary. So many people who are trapped in depression can't see it that way, can't think that way.

So in short, while I believe it to be a selfish choice, and unwise choice and fleeing from your problems, I realize that to those with depression, they can't comprehend of anything beyond this darkness they're trapped in, and thus are unable to make the decision the way an average person would.

 

[Persistence]

Assuming you have even moderately caring parents, it would be horrible for them. Not to mention if you have children.

Suicide with few exceptions, is a cop out. You are abandoning your responsibilities to your loved ones.

Agreed...you're causing pain for others still around, especially kids.


I'm not trying to judge Robin Williams though...I can't imagine having that type of depression. There are outlets that can help...but you have to be humble and seek out help.
I think lightening the load of these ridiculous divorce settlements could have helped...he was practically slaving away his retirement for an ex-wife. This idea that you're required to provide an ex-spouse same lifestyle after a divorce is abusive.

 

[DarthDaveBanner]

Unless it is an example such as jumping in front of a bullet to save somebody's life, it is selfish.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

Agreed...you're causing pain for others still around, especially kids.


I'm not trying to judge Robin Williams though...I can't imagine having that type of depression. There are outlets that can help...but you have to be humble and seek out help.
I think lightening the load of these ridiculous divorce settlements could have helped...he was practically slaving away his retirement for an ex-wife. This idea that you're required to provide an ex-spouse same lifestyle after a divorce is abusive.

He had to pay alimony to two ex-wives.

and the tv show that was going to get him out of bankruptcy just got cancelled in May.

 

[Superfox]

I think suicide Can be a selfish act, but most of the time it isn't. There is so much pain, darkness and suffering for someone with a depression, they can't see clearly, they just see everything that's bad. And pretty much everyone who suffers from depression feel like a burden to everyone around them, so they think killing themselves is doing everyone else a favour.

I read this interesting text about comedians and depression, worth reading!: http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/robin-williams-why-funny-people-kill-themselves/