Your Best Friend

[hopefuldreamer]

I am not sure how to say this without being blunt, so i am just going to be blunt, hope that is ok.

It sounds to me like you are concentrating a bit too much on this friendship with the guy. It almost sounds like a substitute for a romantic relationship.

See, the thing is with friendships, they don't carry the risk that romantic relationships do, a friend can't break your heart, they can hurt you, but not in that way only a lover can, which is much more painful.

So, i don't know if you are a bit scared to go in that direction, and are more comfortable filling that gap of male companionship with a gay friend.

You should be careful if that is what you are doing deep down, cause 'nothing ventured, nothing gained' and all that.
you could end up quite bitter and jealous of other couples, and end up screwing yourself up in that regard.

I say this also, because, if you don't mind me saying so, the term 'soul mates' is generally used for romantic relationships, you seem well read enough to know that.
and the fact that you used it in this context, and that you said you don't believe in soul mates, might say be saying something along those lines.

Because, i don't really believe you on some level, that you were not talking in any way about romantic relationships.
First you say you don't believe in soul mates, and then you give that big speech about empathy to the nth degree or whatever in friendships. So, that means you do believe in something when it comes to friendships being more than they are on the surface.

Trust me, when , or if, you encounter true love, on that soul mate level, you will not know what hit you, it is a very intense spiritual experience, and the feeling never goes away, it is crazy, in the best kind of way, you wake up every day with this tremendous power flowing though you, it is unbelievable in the sense that you can't believe that life could have something in it like that.
You go around thinking you know what romantic love is all about, and then it happens, you realise you have not had the first clue what you are talking about, but then you know.
No one can persuade you otherwise, they are fools for trying, ignorant, sometimes jealous fools, who underestimate a power that they most likely will never experience, if they go on being fearful or negative.

It is just what I got from reading your post, sorry if I overstepped any boundaries there.

1. You haven't overstepped at all, I appreciate your opinion completely, and your not the first person to say it.

2. I didn't say I didn't believe in soul mates... I said I wasn't sure if I did - and the reason for that is that i'm not sure I actually believe in souls, or an afterlife or anything like that. About 70% of me just believes in science. In the brain as an organ, and as a personality as just a part of that brain.

3. I don't spend enough time with him anymore to have him be supplementing a relationship. And believe me, with the stuff that i've been through with him/because of him, there is not a hint of unrequited love there. Neither of us harbour any kind of romantic feelings towards each other. It really is like my little brother. Even his parents treat me like his big sister.

4. I don't tend to live by the traditional definitions. I feel that if 'soul mates' is a real thing, then it does not only exist within romantic relationships. When I feel a connection with someone that is so deep that it feels like it goes beyond what physical experiences i've had with them, I wonder if they might be a soul mate. That's just how I see it.

5. Thankyou for taking the time to comment on my post and offer me advice I hope I am lucky enough to meet a romantic 'soul mate' in my life, because it truly would be wonderful

 

[Wolfwood]

I used to have two bestfriends, a guy and a girl. Unfortunately I brought love into the female friendship and that ruined everything, but I've gotten over that. Me and the dude though have been friends since High School and we're still going strong.

 

[bullets]

I have a couple people that I consider my best friend. Jay's been around since I was twelve and we grew up together,almost like a brother. We've had some differences but never had a girl come between us. I even had a huge crush on one of his gf's and it turned out he was cheating on her. I stayed out of it though
Carlos I met towards the end of high school. He's more open so we can chat about more personal things and have different conversations. At this point I'm miles away from all my friends but I'm roommates with my brother so it's alright but I miss hanging out with those guys.

 

[The Squirrel]

At this point in my life I'm not so sure that I have a 'best' friend, but I do have a friend I've known for 24 years.