girlfriend and her best friend.....

[dusk20]

Ok so the title of the thread is a little..........interesting, but this is a serious question.

Has anyone in here been in a relationship and suddenly something happens and you begin to wonder about the best friend of your girlfriend????

 

[Figs]

I predict bad times in your future.

 

[[A]]

Wonder about what..? Is she missing..?

 

[The Original Bamfer]

I don't understand the question... I'd advise that you could probably post this in the Relationship Advice thread... but, once again, it does not compute.

 

[Matt]

As with most problems in life, you need the help of the great George Costanza:



The audio sync is off, but the brilliance is still there.

 

[dusk20]

haha, nah not missing.

Okay let me explain. Been dating my girlfriend for 2 years. Been going out with her and her friends the last few months...catching up and just hanging around. It just seems that now the best friend and I are getting along really good. Almost to the point my girlfriend is being left out of conversations and now its getting to where we are chatting on outside of those "going out times".

 

[dusk20]

I don't understand the question... I'd advise that you could probably post this in the Relationship Advice thread... but, once again, it does not compute.

i had no idea there was a thread like this... sorry

 

[Silvermoth]

haha, nah not missing.

Okay let me explain. Been dating my girlfriend for 2 years. Been going out with her and her friends the last few months...catching up and just hanging around. It just seems that now the best friend and I are getting along really good. Almost to the point my girlfriend is being left out of conversations and now its getting to where we are chatting on outside of those "going out times".

oh dear. You're in dangerous territory son.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I will just say, in the immortal words of my buddy who is now over in Iraq - "This is going to end badly"

 

[katie_girl09]

haha, nah not missing.

Okay let me explain. Been dating my girlfriend for 2 years. Been going out with her and her friends the last few months...catching up and just hanging around. It just seems that now the best friend and I are getting along really good. Almost to the point my girlfriend is being left out of conversations and now its getting to where we are chatting on outside of those "going out times".

Stop right there. You should not be talking to your girlfriend's friend when your girlfriend isn't there. It's great that you can get along with her so that things aren't awkward when you all hang out as a group, but always keep in mind that she is first and foremost your girlfriend's best friend. It is a social impropriety to go out of your way to talk to her alone and if I were in your girlfriend's shoes, I would definitely be questioning your intentions. That's my advice.

 

[Motown Marvel]

^^as long as there are no improper intentions, i dont see whats wrong with it.

 

[dusk20]

ok the reason i post this is because she keeps on doing this.

i was on facebook before and she private messaged me. i was just replying to her and nothing more. and then speaking about WoW. i grabbed a drink and came back to find she had logged off and told me that her facebook isn't working and she left her email address to chat with her still.

so where to go from here?

 

[Motown Marvel]

dude, you can go wherever you want as long as you dont start getting involved with stuff that compromises your relationship with your girlfriend. and i think you know where those lines are drawn. but just talking with the chick and being friends, there isnt anything wrong with that.

 

[dusk20]

i know what you mean, but i feel like it is compromising the relationship. i know she is interested in this other guy, and i know that because she tells my girlfriend, but i don't know why she would feel the need to wanna chat with me?

we a both nerds so i guess she can talk about those things with me, but im not sure.

 

[katie_girl09]

ok the reason i post this is because she keeps on doing this.

i was on facebook before and she private messaged me. i was just replying to her and nothing more. and then speaking about WoW. i grabbed a drink and came back to find she had logged off and told me that her facebook isn't working and she left her email address to chat with her still.

so where to go from here?

I wouldn't carry this any further. Sure you can say that you don't mean anything by it, but why place yourself in this situation in the first place? It doesn't seem right.

 

[dusk20]

i know it doesn't seem right, but im just being a friend right? a guy is allowed to have female friends?

 

[katie_girl09]

If it doesn't feel right to you, that's probably because it isn't. Don't ignore your gut instincts.

Does your girlfriend know that her friend is asking you to e-mail her? If you did start corresponding with her, would you tell your girlfriend and would she be okay with that?

 

[dusk20]

thats the thing, my gf doesnt know.....i havent told her.

 

[katie_girl09]

Okay, excuse me but RED FLAG!!!

The fact that your girlfriend doesn't know (and I somehow gather that you don't really wanna tell her) suggests that deep down your intentions might not be that innocent. I wonder about her friend's intentions too. Why is she going out of her way to have private conversations with her best friend's boyfriend?

Call me paranoid, but as a woman I think that she's up to something. And if you aren't up to something as well, I'd advise you to stay away.

 

[Nathan]

Dude, now is the best moment to ask your girlfriend for the 3 some option. Trust me.

 

[dusk20]

i havent told me gf because of im worried she'll think im up to something when im not. we are simply chatting and getting along. we talk and its all good. i just feel that in this situation my gf doesn't need to know, because i know, she will crack it at me.

and i love my gf very much and have no intention of cheating.

 

[katie_girl09]

i havent told me gf because of im worried she'll think im up to something when im not. we are simply chatting and getting along. we talk and its all good. i just feel that in this situation my gf doesn't need to know, because i know, she will crack it at me.

and i love my gf very much and have no intention of cheating.

I know that you probably don't have any intention of cheating. Most people don't. But you have to realize that you're placing yourself in a position which will be conducive to cheating. You're having a secret relationship (be it platonic or otherwise) with a woman that is not your girlfriend. That is quite duplicitous. Hell, her friend isn't a very nice friend if she is willing to carry on a secret relationship of any kind with her friend's boyfriend. If you would do that behind her back, I wouldn't blame her for wondering what else you would do/have done.

You think your girlfriend will be upset? That's what they all say, dude. If you know that this will upset her, why do you want to do it? Shouldn't maintaining your relationship with your girlfriend of 2 years be more important to you than making nice with her friend?

Ultimately, you're gonna do what you wanna do. But I would say that you should let this one go. Or if you are so hell-bent on being friends with her, you have to make sure that you are open and your girlfriend knows about it. If not, I wouldn't be surprised if this ends in tears, cheating and a broken friendship. No offense.

 

[Ace of Knaves]

Listen man, all you need to do is drop some hints about a threesome. That's what this girl wants really. She wants you and your girlfriend and her in the sack.

 

[Heretic]

Besides, just because YOU know your intention isnt to cheat, that doesnt mean that SHE knows that, or your girlfriend. So, lets say your girlfriend and her get in an argument...she WILL say "thats why your boyfriends been flirting with me". Then your life is over. You can explain all day that it was harmless...but if it is harmless, why dont you mention it to your girlfriend now??

 

[katie_girl09]

^Very true, Heretic. If you don't tell her and she finds out about this for herself, there's no way in hell that you'll ever convince her that nothing happened between the two of you.