Uncle Dark-Knight Asks far too many questions

-
Who is the Mole? (worth a try)
I don't know. Chase wouldn't tell me because he doesn't trust me, but hired me to do the grunt work.
That's hard because there are so many. Erm *random* Charlise Theron.
29. It's in my profile, you lazy ****er.
Fresh sex.
Ever stopped when it was hammer time?
Only to admire the bagginess of my shiny trousers.
Yuk! No I do not.
And getting caught in the rain?
Sometimes. If I don't have to go anywhere where I don't have to be dry.
Whats type of condom is your favorite?
Glow in the dark so I can make lightsaber noises before she feels the force.
Yes, and some pretty weird stuff happened about 25 minutes after.
Chocolate gives me migraines
Some say Chocolate is better than sex do you agree or think they were a bit mad?
Well I'm certain that whoever said it doesn't prefer migraines over sex.
Stale sex.
Show us a recent picture of yourself?
What were you thinking as you took the picture?
No.
Ghostbusters or Gremlins?
Ghostbusters. It's my earliest cinema memory. I asked my mam where the ghosties were, and then asked her where were the busters. It got a ripple of a laugh through the crowd
Venkman. He slimed me.
Who should they cast as Robo-Cop in the remake?
Errrr, does it matter that much? They're gonna put a big ol' helmet on the dude and then we'll watch him blow **** up.
When did you last look in the mirror and think 'Damn i look good today' (or words to that effect?
I have no idea. I am aware that I'm not completely hideous to the opposite sex, but I don't put much thought into it... which, as it turns out, is half the charm.
Ever walked in on someone Having the sex?
Yeh, but I could smell em before I walked in the door.
My mate and some fat chick. It's so strange when you see a fat chick ****. My mate just slapped her ankle and rode the wave in.
Did you ever see some dogs having sex and ask your mum or dad what they were doing, what did they tell you?
No. But once I was round an auntie's house and she had a lil pickanease dog that kept screwing her cats. Pretty funny; very weird.
Zooey Deschanel. She's adorable, and multi-talented with a voice like a cowboy angel.
If you were a animal what kind of animal would you be?
I'd like to be a cat. They're cool, look after themselves, promisquous, and have built-in lightsavers.
Sex with a ugly stinking stranger for one million pounds/dollars?
Maybe. depends how ugly and how stinking.
Sex with a person of the same sex for five hundred thousand pounds/pollars?
No. The memory would last much longer than the money.
Ever shopped at a pound shop/99 cent store or the like, if so what was the last thing you bought?
Yeah, I bought batteries. They were crap.
Who do you love more than anything?
My mum
What word do you use too often?
'lol'
lol
Only when I'm drunk.
Have you ever stopped, collaborated and listened when Ice was back with his brand new invention?
Now you're losing me, bro.
The part that's on my plate.
Least favorite part of a duck?
The part that's on someone else's plate.
You rub a lamp a genie apears and gives you 3 wishes (you cannot wish for more wishes) what are your 3 wishes?
Immortality with the option to die if it all gets too much.
The power to control all matter - everything... mwuhahcoughcoughhaha.
My last wish would be that the other two wishes have no negative consequences :guythatthinksahead:
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
I was still in high school, so i think I was 15 - 16 at at the most.
A friend's house near school. His parents were away and we had a party. Some girls came. And so did I, very quickly I might add.
They are making a big budget film of The A-Team, who would you cast as The A-Team?
Rober Downey JR as BA
Jim Carey as Murdoch
I'm having problems with the next two so I'm just gonna say George Clooney as Hannable and Brad Pitt as Face, seeing as they're gay for each other and joined at the hip.
Tell me your favorite joke?
Why when someone asks you this question does your mind go completely blank? I'm going to have to say A-Nus.
Tell us something about yourself we never knew?
The Empire Strikes Back, but maybe it won't be tomorrow because I'm getting really tired of writing it.
It's all a matter of opinion and reliance on my hole-riddled memory. I'm gonna say Apocalypse Now. People just say they like that **** because people say they like it.
Come on, who ya talking to? Hubba hubba hubba, money money money - who do you trust?
Secks with a animal followed by a celeb of your choice or no secks?
Do I have to sleep with the celebrity after?
Tom-ay-toe or Tom-ah-toe?
If you were a duck billed platypuss what would be your name?
Spanky McF***erbottom.
If They made a movie of your life who would play you?
Probably James McAvoy.
Who would you want to direct it?
Ridley Scott for sure.
If you had to had the sex with someone off the hype who would the sex be with?
Erm, Erz.
What was willis 'talkin bout'?
He wasn't tawkin bout nathin bat nathin. YerrbUt.
Who was the last person in real life to see you naked?
A girl that I'm seeing at the moment.
Who was the last real person you saw naked?
As above.
If you were a cat, what kind of monkey would henry be?
A cheeky one with missing bananas.
Tina turner has started touring again after her retirement how does that make you feel?
With my hands.
Do you agree that some might say Tina turner is simply the best, better than all the rest?
I agree that some might say it, but that doesn't mean I agree with them. She has great legs for a biddy though.
When did you last have you some sex?
About a week ago. A half-hearted display of my prowess because of the manflu.
If you saw Tom Jones live would you feel the urge to throw your knickers or undercrackers at him?
Only if they were soiled.
If not why not, do you not feel he is worthy of your underwear?
He is an overrated Welsh wanker.
Ever fancied some man on man action(not with me)?
Absolutely not. Why don't you want to?
Ever fancied some man on man on man action?
Now you're talking.
Ever fancied some man on man on donkey action?
Never. I would imagine Eddie Murphy's voice falling from the donky's mouth as we ****ed. 'Ammm a STAAalion!'
My He-Man and Star Wars colletion. I had hundreds - far too many to choose, but my Millenium Falcon has to be right near the top of the list.
Worst gift you ever recieved and who was it from?
A pen made by NASA. It was supposed to be an anti-gravity pen, but I couldn't understand why it didn't float. I ended up conceeding and reading the instructions. All it meant was that you could write upside down. ****! It was off my auntie, maybe she was damaged from watching the dog **** her cats all the time.
Your invisible for a day, what do you do during the day, give me a timetable.
In the morning I would sneak into a hot girls room, and then if I had the energy after answering all these questions, I would fap until I got friction burns.
Your wife/husband cheats on you with a person of the opposite sex, would you leave them?
Absolutely. It's the most horrible crime you can commit on a loved one.
Your wife/husband cheats on you with a person the same sexas them, would you leave them?
Same.
No, but a few Christmases ago I recieved a present was in that kinda ballpark. My ex's family were tight, so they always gave me jokey presents. Her lil sister got me a thong and bowtie. Men aren't made the right way to wear stuff like that. I had stuff hanging out all over the place.
I've never been in possesion of one.
You love the questions, eh?
A dead guy.
Have you ever shaked your little tush on the catwalk, yeah the catwalk, on the catwalk yeah, have you shaked your little tush on the catwalk?
No, but I got drunk on a work's do and poll danced
