2011 NFL Thread: The Lazarus Season - Part 8

[Matt]

The odds actually aren't that bad against them. The Bungles are playing the Ravens who should massacre them. The Titans are against the Texans. I can't see the Texans resting their starters. They have nothing to gain but they have been losing so much momentum lately, I think they need a win here, plus Kubiak has implied that they will play to win, but with their injuries, I suppose it really depends on which Tennessee Titans shows up to play as they have been one of the more inconsistent teams in the league. Oakland is playing San Diego in what should be a favorable matchup for the Chargers (but they too have been inconsistent, kind of the theme of the season, eh?). Meanwhile Denver is playing KC in what is essentially a job interview for Romeo Crennell.

Honestly, I could see all four teams losing.

 

[Duke]

Congrats to Brees. He's likeable & easy to root for.

 

[Kane52630]

Oh im sure each of those teams has a chance on losing but I know on Sunday I will be watching all of those games closely.
*buys and stockpile food for Sunday*

 

[DoomsdayApex]

Congrats to Breeze. Is there any other players this season who may cross the landmark?

Hells no.

Man, Brees is a machine. Two 5000+ seasons? Jeez, I love Rivers, but apart of me is pissed that AJ let him go.

On that note, other than Merriman, every player that hits free agency after playing for The Chargers are crazy talented.

Turner, Brees, O'Neal, Sproles, etc.

 

[Poeman]

Brees in post game locker speech was amazing....

He thanked the equipment guy for rubbing those balls...hahaha everyone went "Heyyy ooohhh" lol

Brees is my favorite qb in the NFL, been so since 2009 and when he raised his son after that win against the Colts.

 

[Poeman]

The odds actually aren't that bad against them. The Bungles are playing the Ravens who should massacre them. The Titans are against the Texans. I can't see the Texans resting their starters. They have nothing to gain but they have been losing so much momentum lately, I think they need a win here, plus Kubiak has implied that they will play to win, but with their injuries, I suppose it really depends on which Tennessee Titans shows up to play as they have been one of the more inconsistent teams in the league. Oakland is playing San Diego in what should be a favorable matchup for the Chargers (but they too have been inconsistent, kind of the theme of the season, eh?). Meanwhile Denver is playing KC in what is essentially a job interview for Romeo Crennell.

Honestly, I could see all four teams losing.

Yeah, I feel like it is possible that those teams can all lose...I am worried about the Titans. Ravens can also fold against a hungry Bengals team...Its just too much to overcome.

 

[Hunter Rider]

Hells no.

Man, Brees is a machine. Two 5000+ seasons? Jeez, I love Rivers, but apart of me is pissed that AJ let him go.

On that note, other than Merriman, every player that hits free agency after playing for The Chargers are crazy talented.

Turner, Brees, O'Neal, Sproles, etc.

I was meaning surpassing the Marino numbers, I thought I read that Brady and another QB were close this season as well.

 

[Trainwreck2100]

lol Miami Dolphins could have had Brees but they pissed him off

 

[Matt]

Yeah, I feel like it is possible that those teams can all lose...I am worried about the Titans. Ravens can also fold against a hungry Bengals team...Its just too much to overcome.

I think what will make the difference is Marvin Lewis' game plan. Marvin Lewis will find a way to blow it. Plus, don't underestimate the Ravens. They want to send a message going into the post-season.

 

[Mister J]

lol Miami Dolphins could have had Brees but they pissed him off

It's just another reason to hate Saban. ****er.

Given his account, Brees really wanted to sign.

 

[Dr. Evil]

I was meaning surpassing the Marino numbers, I thought I read that Brady and another QB were close this season as well.

Brady needs only 103 yards to get to 5,000. Aaron Rodgers is the other one. He needs 357 yards.

One wonders though if Peyton Manning would have been really close had he not been injured.

 

[Rowsdower!]

THIS GUY SIGNS OFF... 'TIL NEXT SEASON
　

THIS GUY... let me tell ya about this guy who has been commentating on Monday Night Football the past two seasons. Yeah, this guy Jon Gruden. That's right. Me. Now I know some of you have accused me of brownnosing and asskissing and knobslobbering over every mediocre player in the National Football League. You've said that I'll find some ludicrous way to praise every single player in the game because I'm so desperate to land another coaching gig. You think I don't want to burn any bridges when I'm calling these games.

Well, I'm here to tell you, you're way off-base.

You see, it's absolutely true that I want the hell out of this job. Can you blame me? I mean, it's bad enough having to be sandwiched between Jaworksi and Tirico every Monday, a fate I would wish upon no man, woman or beast. Of course I want to be coaching again in the NFL. Hell, I'd even take that awful Jaguars gig if they offered it to me. But that's only part of it.

I'm forced to humiliate myself every week on TV because I was sh**canned a second time as a head coach. And yeah, you can say that every coach goes through that, even the great ones like me.

But no one, I mean NO ONE has suffered the public embarrassment that I have in the instance of being fired. I mean, I know it had been a while since I led the Bucs to a Super Bowl, but at least we were frequent postseason threats under my brilliance. But who do they replace me with?! RAHEEM F***ING MORRIS?! ARE YOU SH**ING ME? Yeah, you had a little success last year that amounted to jack sh** in the end. Congrats, Succaneers. Look at where Mr. "Best in the NFC" has gotten you this season! You've got a quarterback who can only complete passes to cornerbacks, a runningback whose play is bipolar at best, and a Swiss cheese defense led by Albert Haynesworthless. Good thing they brought those orange uniforms back so you can look as ugly as you're playing.

And let's see, before my Tampa Bay days, I was coaching in Oakland. But then Al Davis had schizophrenic episode #5,329,064 and he "traded" me to the Bucs. And who did that batsh** old zombie replace me with? THE BIGGEST STRING OF A**HOLES AND IDIOTS TO EVER COACH IN THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE! Al would have done better to just coach that team himself rather than subject the Raiturds to that list of morons! Bill Callahan? HAHAHA!! Loved that performance in the Super Bowl where ya handed me the game by calling all my old plays! Tom Cable? Who wouldathunkit that a guy with a penchant for beating up his women and his assistant coaches wouldn't have success in the NFL? F*** YOU AL DAVIS! I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So you might be asking yourself why, if I'm so bitter about my situation, that I put on a big smile every Monday and gush over every dipsh** to strap on a helmet. Well, I'll tell you. BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO SUFFER, SO THE HELL DO YOU, AMERICA. As long as I'm stuck here, you're going to listen to every excruciating word I have to say. I'm going to continue to verbally ******e every awful player in this league week after week, nauseating the sh** out of you to the point where you'll be begging for Berman to pop up at halftime and make his f***ing stupid puns. I'll explain why Kevin Kolb is a future Hall of Famer and why the Rams defense will be the next Steel Curtain. I'll anoint Jim Caldwell as the new Vince Lombardi and make pleas for Tim Tebow to represent the AFC in the Pro Bowl indefinitely. You will suffer, as I have suffered. Until the day comes when my phone rings and the owner of some lucky NFL team decides to sign me to a 10-year, $140 million coaching contract, you're stuck here with me. In Hell.

 

[jacobed]

Ah man Adrian. There is no way he will be able to come back and be the same as he was before. Both the acl and mcl, eesh that is awful.

 

[Hound55]

Brady needs only 103 yards to get to 5,000. Aaron Rodgers is the other one. He needs 357 yards.

One wonders though if Peyton Manning would have been really close had he not been injured.

Honestly, I'd play Flynn this week.

There's no upside in this game for the Packers and all it would take is Suh getting in on our shoddy line and swinging off his neck like it were a f***ing trapeze or something else ridiculous and it's all over.

We've got home field in each week, perfect season's wrecked, f*** it.

Besides, the way I see it Flynn's earned the right to show what kind of value he'll be when he hits free agency, he deserves a chance somewhere and he's not going to get it with us.

So, between not wanting to put Rogers in front of a dirty reactionary nutbag in an empty game and wanting Flynn to get his shot somewhere I'm cool with burning this game off.

 

[CConn]

I think I'm genuinely confused that anyone finds Rowsdower! funny.

 

[Hound55]

THIS GUY SIGNS OFF... 'TIL NEXT SEASON
　

THIS GUY... let me tell ya about this guy who has been commentating on Monday Night Football the past two seasons. Yeah, this guy Jon Gruden. That's right. Me. Now I know some of you have accused me of brownnosing and asskissing and knobslobbering over every mediocre player in the National Football League. You've said that I'll find some ludicrous way to praise every single player in the game because I'm so desperate to land another coaching gig. You think I don't want to burn any bridges when I'm calling these games.

Well, I'm here to tell you, you're way off-base.

You see, it's absolutely true that I want the hell out of this job. Can you blame me? I mean, it's bad enough having to be sandwiched between Jaworksi and Tirico every Monday, a fate I would wish upon no man, woman or beast. Of course I want to be coaching again in the NFL. Hell, I'd even take that awful Jaguars gig if they offered it to me. But that's only part of it.

I'm forced to humiliate myself every week on TV because I was sh**canned a second time as a head coach. And yeah, you can say that every coach goes through that, even the great ones like me.

But no one, I mean NO ONE has suffered the public embarrassment that I have in the instance of being fired. I mean, I know it had been a while since I led the Bucs to a Super Bowl, but at least we were frequent postseason threats under my brilliance. But who do they replace me with?! RAHEEM F***ING MORRIS?! ARE YOU SH**ING ME? Yeah, you had a little success last year that amounted to jack sh** in the end. Congrats, Succaneers. Look at where Mr. "Best in the NFC" has gotten you this season! You've got a quarterback who can only complete passes to cornerbacks, a runningback whose play is bipolar at best, and a Swiss cheese defense led by Albert Haynesworthless. Good thing they brought those orange uniforms back so you can look as ugly as you're playing.

And let's see, before my Tampa Bay days, I was coaching in Oakland. But then Al Davis had schizophrenic episode #5,329,064 and he "traded" me to the Bucs. And who did that batsh** old zombie replace me with? THE BIGGEST STRING OF A**HOLES AND IDIOTS TO EVER COACH IN THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE! Al would have done better to just coach that team himself rather than subject the Raiturds to that list of morons! Bill Callahan? HAHAHA!! Loved that performance in the Super Bowl where ya handed me the game by calling all my old plays! Tom Cable? Who wouldathunkit that a guy with a penchant for beating up his women and his assistant coaches wouldn't have success in the NFL? F*** YOU AL DAVIS! I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So you might be asking yourself why, if I'm so bitter about my situation, that I put on a big smile every Monday and gush over every dipsh** to strap on a helmet. Well, I'll tell you. BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO SUFFER, SO THE HELL DO YOU, AMERICA. As long as I'm stuck here, you're going to listen to every excruciating word I have to say. I'm going to continue to verbally ******e every awful player in this league week after week, nauseating the sh** out of you to the point where you'll be begging for Berman to pop up at halftime and make his f***ing stupid puns. I'll explain why Kevin Kolb is a future Hall of Famer and why the Rams defense will be the next Steel Curtain. I'll anoint Jim Caldwell as the new Vince Lombardi and make pleas for Tim Tebow to represent the AFC in the Pro Bowl indefinitely. You will suffer, as I have suffered. Until the day comes when my phone rings and the owner of some lucky NFL team decides to sign me to a 10-year, $140 million coaching contract, you're stuck here with me. In Hell.

Am I the only one who read that in Jon Gruden's increasingly intense voice with the instrumental for Denis Leary's "A**hole" in the back of my mind?

 

[Trainwreck2100]

mnf is a joke of a shadow of it's old self insult to fans' intelligence everywhere

 

[KalMart]

THIS GUY SIGNS OFF... 'TIL NEXT SEASON
　

THIS GUY... let me tell ya about this guy who has been commentating on Monday Night Football the past two seasons. Yeah, this guy Jon Gruden. That's right. Me. Now I know some of you have accused me of brownnosing and asskissing and knobslobbering over every mediocre player in the National Football League. You've said that I'll find some ludicrous way to praise every single player in the game because I'm so desperate to land another coaching gig. You think I don't want to burn any bridges when I'm calling these games.

Well, I'm here to tell you, you're way off-base.

You see, it's absolutely true that I want the hell out of this job. Can you blame me? I mean, it's bad enough having to be sandwiched between Jaworksi and Tirico every Monday, a fate I would wish upon no man, woman or beast. Of course I want to be coaching again in the NFL. Hell, I'd even take that awful Jaguars gig if they offered it to me. But that's only part of it.

I'm forced to humiliate myself every week on TV because I was sh**canned a second time as a head coach. And yeah, you can say that every coach goes through that, even the great ones like me.

But no one, I mean NO ONE has suffered the public embarrassment that I have in the instance of being fired. I mean, I know it had been a while since I led the Bucs to a Super Bowl, but at least we were frequent postseason threats under my brilliance. But who do they replace me with?! RAHEEM F***ING MORRIS?! ARE YOU SH**ING ME? Yeah, you had a little success last year that amounted to jack sh** in the end. Congrats, Succaneers. Look at where Mr. "Best in the NFC" has gotten you this season! You've got a quarterback who can only complete passes to cornerbacks, a runningback whose play is bipolar at best, and a Swiss cheese defense led by Albert Haynesworthless. Good thing they brought those orange uniforms back so you can look as ugly as you're playing.

And let's see, before my Tampa Bay days, I was coaching in Oakland. But then Al Davis had schizophrenic episode #5,329,064 and he "traded" me to the Bucs. And who did that batsh** old zombie replace me with? THE BIGGEST STRING OF A**HOLES AND IDIOTS TO EVER COACH IN THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE! Al would have done better to just coach that team himself rather than subject the Raiturds to that list of morons! Bill Callahan? HAHAHA!! Loved that performance in the Super Bowl where ya handed me the game by calling all my old plays! Tom Cable? Who wouldathunkit that a guy with a penchant for beating up his women and his assistant coaches wouldn't have success in the NFL? F*** YOU AL DAVIS! I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So you might be asking yourself why, if I'm so bitter about my situation, that I put on a big smile every Monday and gush over every dipsh** to strap on a helmet. Well, I'll tell you. BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO SUFFER, SO THE HELL DO YOU, AMERICA. As long as I'm stuck here, you're going to listen to every excruciating word I have to say. I'm going to continue to verbally ******e every awful player in this league week after week, nauseating the sh** out of you to the point where you'll be begging for Berman to pop up at halftime and make his f***ing stupid puns. I'll explain why Kevin Kolb is a future Hall of Famer and why the Rams defense will be the next Steel Curtain. I'll anoint Jim Caldwell as the new Vince Lombardi and make pleas for Tim Tebow to represent the AFC in the Pro Bowl indefinitely. You will suffer, as I have suffered. Until the day comes when my phone rings and the owner of some lucky NFL team decides to sign me to a 10-year, $140 million coaching contract, you're stuck here with me. In Hell.

I think he really wanted the Cowboys job, but once that was reserved for Garrett, he seemed okay with singing a cushy five-yr extension with ESPN. He'll get back in again. He can be a bit too ass-kissin', though.

 

[Immortalfire]

THIS GUY SIGNS OFF... 'TIL NEXT SEASON
　

THIS GUY... let me tell ya about this guy who has been commentating on Monday Night Football the past two seasons. Yeah, this guy Jon Gruden. That's right. Me. Now I know some of you have accused me of brownnosing and asskissing and knobslobbering over every mediocre player in the National Football League. You've said that I'll find some ludicrous way to praise every single player in the game because I'm so desperate to land another coaching gig. You think I don't want to burn any bridges when I'm calling these games.

Well, I'm here to tell you, you're way off-base.

You see, it's absolutely true that I want the hell out of this job. Can you blame me? I mean, it's bad enough having to be sandwiched between Jaworksi and Tirico every Monday, a fate I would wish upon no man, woman or beast. Of course I want to be coaching again in the NFL. Hell, I'd even take that awful Jaguars gig if they offered it to me. But that's only part of it.

I'm forced to humiliate myself every week on TV because I was sh**canned a second time as a head coach. And yeah, you can say that every coach goes through that, even the great ones like me.

But no one, I mean NO ONE has suffered the public embarrassment that I have in the instance of being fired. I mean, I know it had been a while since I led the Bucs to a Super Bowl, but at least we were frequent postseason threats under my brilliance. But who do they replace me with?! RAHEEM F***ING MORRIS?! ARE YOU SH**ING ME? Yeah, you had a little success last year that amounted to jack sh** in the end. Congrats, Succaneers. Look at where Mr. "Best in the NFC" has gotten you this season! You've got a quarterback who can only complete passes to cornerbacks, a runningback whose play is bipolar at best, and a Swiss cheese defense led by Albert Haynesworthless. Good thing they brought those orange uniforms back so you can look as ugly as you're playing.

And let's see, before my Tampa Bay days, I was coaching in Oakland. But then Al Davis had schizophrenic episode #5,329,064 and he "traded" me to the Bucs. And who did that batsh** old zombie replace me with? THE BIGGEST STRING OF A**HOLES AND IDIOTS TO EVER COACH IN THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE! Al would have done better to just coach that team himself rather than subject the Raiturds to that list of morons! Bill Callahan? HAHAHA!! Loved that performance in the Super Bowl where ya handed me the game by calling all my old plays! Tom Cable? Who wouldathunkit that a guy with a penchant for beating up his women and his assistant coaches wouldn't have success in the NFL? F*** YOU AL DAVIS! I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So you might be asking yourself why, if I'm so bitter about my situation, that I put on a big smile every Monday and gush over every dipsh** to strap on a helmet. Well, I'll tell you. BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO SUFFER, SO THE HELL DO YOU, AMERICA. As long as I'm stuck here, you're going to listen to every excruciating word I have to say. I'm going to continue to verbally ******e every awful player in this league week after week, nauseating the sh** out of you to the point where you'll be begging for Berman to pop up at halftime and make his f***ing stupid puns. I'll explain why Kevin Kolb is a future Hall of Famer and why the Rams defense will be the next Steel Curtain. I'll anoint Jim Caldwell as the new Vince Lombardi and make pleas for Tim Tebow to represent the AFC in the Pro Bowl indefinitely. You will suffer, as I have suffered. Until the day comes when my phone rings and the owner of some lucky NFL team decides to sign me to a 10-year, $140 million coaching contract, you're stuck here with me. In Hell.

 

[Erzengel]

I was meaning surpassing the Marino numbers, I thought I read that Brady and another QB were close this season as well.

There are 4 other QBs pushing 5,000 with 1 more game to go.

Brady will do it only needing 103.

Rogers would have to throw 357, Eli would have to throw 413 and Stafford would have to throw 482.

 

[Matt]

Raheem Morris Uses Press to Beg For His Job: It Turns Out as Pathetic as it Sounds

 

[Hound55]

I like how their soft schedule doesn't factor in at all in that ten win season, just the fact that they had a coach of the year candidate... but when things turn sour it's immediately because they chose to go younger and the coach has no impact whatsoever...

 

[Immortalfire]

Raheem Morris Uses Press to Beg For His Job: It Turns Out as Pathetic as it Sounds

I've never been impressed with him as a coach one bit. This makes it even worse

 

[Poeman]

It's just another reason to hate Saban. ****er.

Given his account, Brees really wanted to sign.

Not rubbing salt on the wound, but the Dolphins passed up on Brees twice.


Wannstedt drafted jamar fletcher and Nick Saban goes for Daunte Calpepper...

 

[Matt]

I like how their soft schedule doesn't factor in at all in that ten win season, just the fact that they had a coach of the year candidate... but when things turn sour it's immediately because they chose to go younger and the coach has no impact whatsoever...

Yeah. It is important to consider, the Bucs did not beat a single team with a winning record last season. They were not good. They were just the best of the mediocre.