September 29th:
Halloween (2007)
Halloween II (2009)
Director's cut.
My biggest takeaway from this (and its sequel) is that Rob Zombie never really wanted to make a Halloween movie in the first place. The first half plays like hillbilly horror laced with trauma porn that could've been the origin story for any random serial killer. It has very little to do with Halloween, aesthetically or otherwise. Still, at least I was entertained by the freshness of that portion of the film. Malcolm McDowell is an excellent Loomis, and he's easily my favorite thing about the duology.
The second half, though, is a half-hearted remake of the original Halloween with an extended, unbelievably boring finale that refuses to end. Michael's long-winded origin story ultimately adds nothing of value to the third act, and all that I'm really left with is frustration.
2007's Halloween is also a shockingly misogynistic film — absurdly so. The endless queerphobic dialogue doesn't help either. Rob Zombie's writing is juvenile, try-hard edgy, and ultimately, vapid. And the explicit rape scene alone makes me question him entirely.
So, what does this add to the Halloween canon? A Michael Myers that looks like an Uruk-hai, and the bare breasts of every young, skinny female cast member that isn't Laurie Strode. Yippee.
Director's cut.
Halloween II, or Lynch for Dummies, is an improvement on its predecessor — but it's still a Rob Zombie film. The misogyny is surprisingly toned down (at least in the first half), the characters feel more lived-in, and there's actual psychological and thematic exploration going on. Unfortunately, Zombie is still a dreadful writer, and his dialogue in particular is like nails on a chalkboard.
The film's most constant motif is Zombie introducing an interesting idea, then explaining it over and over again with the subtlety of Michael hacking someone's head off. It's so, so clunky — but admittedly, I do appreciate the attempt to reach for something more substantial.
Amidst all the improvements, the cinematography takes a huge hit from part one. Halloween II looks outright hideous. And to be honest, this isn’t really a Halloween film. Whatever it is, I might actually revisit it some day — unlike its predecessor.
Rob Zombie remains a better director than he is a writer, and I am curious to delve further into his filmography... one day. For now, I need a goddamn break.
