Anybody else hate feeling obligated to do small talk?

[IronMan42]

I walk around everywhere I go with headphones to shield against people wanting to start up small talk with me but they still do. It's so annoying! My family thinks I'm being very anti social and I think they're trying to plan an intervention of some sorts. I was on stumbleupon the other night and this article came up

http://briankim.net/blog/2007/10/top-5-things-every-extrovert-should-know-about-introverts/

It's like he knew who I am! Hate small talk. Like to be alone most of the time. Parties are a waste of time. I need time to recharge. Socializing is freaking exhausting. Going to show that to my family and friends and hopefully that will shut them up.

Anybody else find out they're an introvert?

 

[C. Lee]

So why did you come to a discussion board and start a discussion?

 

[Thundercrack85]

Nope. You need to work on your people's skills.

 

[Figs]

I walk around everywhere I go with headphones to shield against people wanting to start up small talk with me but they still do. It's so annoying! My family thinks I'm being very anti social and I think they're trying to plan an intervention of some sorts. I was on stumbleupon the other night and this article came up

http://briankim.net/blog/2007/10/top-5-things-every-extrovert-should-know-about-introverts/

It's like he knew who I am! Hate small talk. Like to be alone most of the time. Parties are a waste of time. I need time to recharge. Socializing is freaking exhausting. Going to show that to my family and friends and hopefully that will shut them up.

Anybody else find out they're an introvert?

I'm also heavily introverted but I don't necessarily hate small talk. It can be mentally exhausting at times but it's not always bad.

Nope. You need to work on your people's skills.

I don't buy into the whole "work on your people skills" thing. You either have them or you don't.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

So why did you come to a discussion board and start a discussion?

 

[obin_gam]

I hate small talk in public because I have a hard time thinking of stuff to say. I think it's probably due to the fact that I just dont care about what the other people do. I dont have any problem with it being awkwardly silent. But I can "feel" when the other people think so, so only then I start and try talking.

But, I mean, what to talk about? The weather always works, but only once in a conversation hahaha

 

[Schlosser85]

I hate small talk. Being stuck in a car with an acquaintance driving somewhere alone with them is one of the most awkward situations I can have. I hate it.

 

[The Morningstar]

I love small talk. But you should never feel obligated to engage in it. If it comes naturally, cool. But don't force it, that's when things become awkward.

 

[Grillz]

I hate small talk. Being stuck in a car with an acquaintance driving somewhere alone with them is one of the most awkward situations I can have. I hate it.

This. I really hate the awkward silence and just sitting there. Eventually you want to say something, but you're just like "Why even bother...".

 

[Duke]

I walk around everywhere I go with headphones to shield against people wanting to start up small talk with me but they still do. It's so annoying! My family thinks I'm being very anti social and I think they're trying to plan an intervention of some sorts. I was on stumbleupon the other night and this article came up

http://briankim.net/blog/2007/10/top-5-things-every-extrovert-should-know-about-introverts/

It's like he knew who I am! Hate small talk. Like to be alone most of the time. Parties are a waste of time. I need time to recharge. Socializing is freaking exhausting. Going to show that to my family and friends and hopefully that will shut them up.

Anybody else find out they're an introvert?

As with all things I like socializing with people here & there , small talk, etc, but I also like a little space as well to do things I enjoy. That being said I wouldn't want to become a a social crab & hermit.

 

[Nathan]

I can relate. I do like to hang around these boards, but when it comes to my daily life, I just hate to interact with people. Which sucks if you work in the gastronomy business like me and basically meet hundreds of people every, freaking day of the week. And I haven't even really done anything with my friends in weeks, of which I only have 2. For the simple reason that I just don't feel like it.

This is basically me.

[YT]5x0XLx9sy8A[/YT]

 

[Darthphere]

Small talk is dumb most of the time. It's like, is it really that awkward to just be there in silence? I ride with my friend places all the time and most of the time just listen to music and not have any real conversation. Silence doesn't bother us.

 

[Soapy]

PROBLEM: Small talk sucks.

SOLUTION: Don't engage in it.

I'm a genius.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I also dont care for small talk, especially with people I dont know. What makes a person that I've just met and will likely never see again think that I have any interest in their personal lives?

Small talk with people I am friends with or at least know? I'm fine with that. But I do feel obligated when a total stranger wont shut up. God forbid I tell them I dont care. People might think I'm unfriendly.

 

[Manic]

I used to hate small talk. Then after working a sales floor for a few years, small talk became part of my sales technique. It's easy to convince a mother of two to buy about a dozen video game accessories they don't need after you've discussed their kids for 5-10 minutes. Here to buy MS Office, eh? Let us talk about what you're using it for for the next few minutes while I subtly edge you away from the Student edition and toward the Professional.

Of course, now I have a hard time talking to strangers without trying to sell them something. I once had a casual conversation with a college career counselor, accidentally transitioned into her clothes, and got her to shop at Kohl's later that day.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Well there is different kinds of small talk.

For instance, I hate running into an aquaintence I haven't seen for a while on a bus. If I see someone I know is getting on, I will pretend to be asleep 9 times out of 10.

That kind of 'catching up' I just find so boring. It's the same freaking predictable questions and answers - 'Hi, how are you, how have you been' 'Yeah fine, how bout you' 'Oh good thanks, been up too much?' 'Nah, not much, and you?' 'Yeah same, quiet really'........................................... and then you're stuck there for however long the bus journey is trying to think of anything that's happened to you that will fill some time, or anyone or anything you can ask them about. Or you have to do that awkward 'Soooo, i'm just gonna put my headphones back in now...'

Then there is the talking that I have to do all day with my colleague in the office. She's 58 years old. She talks a lot about her kids and grandkids. I know literally everything in her life. And she repeats most of it over and over. I also have to hear about how bad her nights sleep was last night, how her bowel movements where irregular this morning... It's not something I enjoy having to sit through every day

But working in a local pub, all the small talk doesn't bother me. I'm either standing at the end of the bar with a bunch of guys all having a conversation and i'm just joining in and laughing (which is just as fun as hanging out with your friends sometimes), or i'm purposefully keeping a conversation going with a total stranger just to make them feel welcome... but it doesn't feel like a chore because they appreciate it so much. And you don't run out of things to say so much when you know literally nothing about them. Plus, you can always pretend you have to wash some glasses to break the awkward silences.

 

[Mace Bloodstone]

I don't buy into the whole "work on your people skills" thing. You either have them or you don't.

Not everyone has that gift to gab but breaking out of your comfort zone (work on your people skills) helps you get a bigger comfort zone.

 

[david icke]

Not everyone has that gift to gab but breaking out of your comfort zone (work on your people skills) helps you get a bigger comfort zone.

I would say that I have 'the gift of the gab', but I didn't always. In my first seven years at school, I was a quiet kid. When I started secondary school, ie high school, I had to develop the gift of the gab in order to survive without being torn apart by the sharks, as there were a lot of tough kids in that school.
Yeah, some people are naturally introverted, and it's not in their nature to gab, but there might be a few people out there somewhere who will take the easy way out and not develop their social skills.

I'm not talking about anyone specifically on this thread neccaserily, but to take the example in the OP's description of his habits, if you always shy away from regular social interactions by doing things like escaping into your headphones, you well could not realise your potential as a person, and miss out on a lot of fun that is to be had with other people.
It's not all talking about the weather, you can accidently get into conversations with people, and end up discovering you have a lot in common, and they will then end up going onto to being very important in your life in some regard.

You could read a 'What If?' comic about that guy who wanted to talk to you about music, but you thought he was just coming over to talk about the weather or whatever, so you ignored him and listened to your headphones, so instead of forming a band with him years later, you sat in the house doing nothing in particular instead.

 

[terry78]

If you and me are in the same space, I can honestly go hours without feeling the need to say anything. Car trip, in the office, whatever. I just don't feel like I have to constantly talk to cease some uncomfortable silence.

 

[Darthphere]

It's like those people who get on the elevator. "Nice weather huh?" More like, shut the **** up and mind your own business.

 

[terry78]

The most I do if I'm around somebody I don't know is either give them a head nod, or if it's a hot girl I will say hi or hey, and leave it there.

 

[CConn]

I've given up on small talk and instead just say the most random and weird thing I can possibly thing of.

It seems to endear me to people.

 

[The Morningstar]

I like saying random things too. Like i dunno, "Man these boxers are tight" or "Damn i shouldn't have eaten that Indian food last night, know-what-i'm-sayin'?"

 

[CConn]

I won't go that strange.

I've said this to a guy named Joe Edwards; "I think I'm going to start calling you Josef, the Arab Joe Edwards."

And to this older lady Peggy; "Every time I see your husband, I think 'hey, there goes Mr. Peggy.'"

Stuff like that.

 

[Hurm...]

Trying to master the art of small talk is something I find useful. Is it easier to sit back, shut up, and relax? Yes and I prefer it. But I also like a challenge, and trying to improve my social skills is something that I constantly work on. Trying to engage in small talk makes you more sociable and approachable to other people. If you can get comfortable at engaging in small talk, the silences are also much less awkward.